Really bad confession

[LilyOfTheFather]

I went to confession yesterday and was disconcerted from the very start. The priest did not do the Sign of the Cross at the beginning, did not ask for the Act of Contrition at the end, and throughout the whole thing affected a sort of overly-compassionate “therapist” tone. I asked him to bless a medal and some salt afterward, and when I came round the screen, he looked at me as though I were asking him to bless a dead raccoon and asked me if I was sure that there weren’t any problems in my life that needed fixing. It was on the whole rather disconcerting. I don’t know how else to describe it save that he was speaking as one might to an obvious lunatic. I came away from confession feeling extremely disconcerted and quite depressed about the whole thing. I don’t want to go to confession ever again now… it sort of feels like the sanctity of the sacrament was violated. Am I being absurd, childish, or selfish or are my feelings legitimate?

 

[Charlemagne]

No, you’re not being childish. I would look around for another Priest or Parish for a Confessor. Ask friends for recommendations. As Catholics, we shouldn’t have to do this. We should be able to receive the Sacramnets - properly celebrated - in our own Parishes. Do not give up on Confession. Find a Priest/Parish you’re comfortable with. If there is a Priest in your Diocese who says the Tridentine Mass - either Diocesan or with the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter - I can almost guarentee he’ll be a good Confessor. I hope that helps.

 

[Bizob]

Charlemagne:

No, you’re not being childish. I would look around for another Priest or Parish for a Confessor. Ask friends for recommendations. As Catholics, we shouldn’t have to do this. We should be able to receive the Sacramnets - properly celebrated - in our own Parishes. Do not give up on Confession. Find a Priest/Parish you’re comfortable with.

This is good advice. I don’t know how many times I’ve come away from the Sacrament feeling let down by my penance, or the “advice”. But try not to lose heart.

 

[system]

You’re in plenty of company. I think anyone who goes frequently to confession ends up with at least the occasional confessional oddball event. I remember one in particular where the priest was so far off-base and so assuming of someone he’d never spoken to before. It put me off-balance for a few days, but then I thought they’re only human too and bound to err once in a while.

I won’t go back to him again and I have a regular confessor. This priest is who I “open my soul” to and all other priests I only confess my sins and get the heck out of there. I am so blessed to have such a good confessor…try to find one. It makes all the difference in your life.

JELane

 

[Christy_Beth]

I’ve confessed to many different priests. I’ve NEVER had one of them start out with the sign of the cross. But I do one anyway. Only twice have I been asked to do an act of contrition. And the “penances” I’ve been given are generally mild. Like a few Hail Mary’s or something along that line. ONe time I was asked to read and reflect on two of the psalms. I can’t remember which two right now, but they fit in with what I had confessed.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

LilyOfTheFather:

I went to confession yesterday and was disconcerted from the very start. The priest did not do the Sign of the Cross at the beginning, did not ask for the Act of Contrition at the end, and throughout the whole thing affected a sort of overly-compassionate “therapist” tone. I asked him to bless a medal and some salt afterward, and when I came round the screen, he looked at me as though I were asking him to bless a dead raccoon and asked me if I was sure that there weren’t any problems in my life that needed fixing. It was on the whole rather disconcerting. I don’t know how else to describe it save that he was speaking as one might to an obvious lunatic. I came away from confession feeling extremely disconcerted and quite depressed about the whole thing. I don’t want to go to confession ever again now… it sort of feels like the sanctity of the sacrament was violated. Am I being absurd, childish, or selfish or are my feelings legitimate?

A priest in our parish, some years back, was also a licensed therapist. I went to confession to him once and got the distinct impression that he was recruiting for his therapy work. I didn’t go to him again.

 

[stellina]

Since I don’t have a regular confessor, I’ve gone to many different ones who have run the gamut. I find it very helpful to remind myself that no matter who he is, that particular priest acts *in personem Christi, *i.e. as Christ himself, and as long as I get the absolution I’ve received the sacrament and it’s valid.

However, I do agree that having a regular confessor or going to a church where the priests are more orthodox in their approach to this sacrament is a good idea.

 

[christineRN]

QUOTE=LilyOfTheFather]I came away from confession feeling extremely disconcerted and quite depressed about the whole thing. I don’t want to go to confession ever again now… it sort of feels like the sanctity of the sacrament was violated. Am I being absurd, childish, or selfish or are my feelings legitimate?

Please do not let one priest make your heart turn from the sacrament of confession. I did and it was a mistake. I must tell you that in 2000 I went to a confession during lent. I had not given a confession in a long time and was very nervous and unsure of myself. I spoke to a nun earlier that day and asked her what to expect. She told me to explain to the priest how I felt and he would walk me through the process and the fact I was there was more important than how much I remembered about the form, because the priest was there to guide me.

I had high hopes, but the priest was rude and instead of helping me through the process, when I asked him for guidance in making my confession he said he did not think I really wanted to be there and said instead that he would pray for the repose of my soul. I came away so hurt, disappointed and sad.

I certainly wanted to be there, I had spent time praying for the courage to go and praying that I would make a good confession. I wondered how he could assume after meeting me only seconds earlier that he knew what was in my heart; he did not even let me tell him what was in my heart.

I did not go back to confession until this past weekend and it was wonderful, the priest was exactly the way the nun had told me it would be 4 years ago. Not only did help me make a good confession, he also helped me resolve my feelings about my previous attempt and he restored my faith in the beauty of a confession.

What I have learned is that priests are human and make human errors and when they do it unfortunately touches us deeper that it should. I know now that I came across a priest that was either having a bad day or something, but his reaction should not have turned my heart about my faith. I hope for you that this one experience will not turn you away from confession as long as it did me.

 

[Christy_Beth]

The priests I’ve gone to have varied in their approach as well. Our current priest is very laid back. When I go to him for confession, I usually have to tell him when I’m finished confessing. This was worse when he first arrived. I was used to immediate response during confession. So, at first I found mself continuing because he wasn’t responding. I’ve backed off from that since. lol

We had an associate priest for awhile. He was originally from Africa. I can’t remember which country. He has since left. Where he went, I don’t know. All we were told was that he was needed elsewhere. Anyway, I really like confessing to him. He was one of the few I’ve gone to that could really get to the heart of the matter very quickly. NO wasting time with him.

 

[Detroit_Sue]

There’s a priest in a nearby parish who rushes people through their confessions. If you stop to take a breath, he will interrupt with, “Is that all? Are you finished?” This is a major disruption as far as I’m concerned. He also makes you say your Act of Contrition after you leave the confessional. Penance issued is invariably 1 Our Father. His lines get shorter every week. People actually don’t like the “express lane.”

 

[Joe_Kelley]

Detroit Sue:

There’s a priest in a nearby parish who rushes people through their confessions. If you stop to take a breath, he will interrupt with, “Is that all? Are you finished?” This is a major disruption as far as I’m concerned. He also makes you say your Act of Contrition after you leave the confessional. Penance issued is invariably 1 Our Father. His lines get shorter every week. People actually don’t like the “express lane.”

Maybe he should have a sign:

Express Lane - 5 sins or less.