Really bad...

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SimonArizona

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Peace and Grace be unto you in abundance from Our Great God and Savior Jesus Christ.

I need help with some major decisions I am facing in my life right now. I don’t know what to do- but I do know to ask God- so I am asking His people, in His Church. My “wife,” I put that in quotations because I’m not sure if she is or not because I was baptised Catholic, raised atheist, turned to God and began going to a non-Catholic Pentecostal Assembly of God (got married at justice of peace to a non-Catholic girl), then came back to the Church thanks to the Holy Spirit and great apologists and theologians etc. My regular confession priest told me I am “probably married.” Yea…anyways, this is about my “wife.” As the sun is rising in my life and I am coming into the Church, praise God, She has decided to renounce God in her life rather completely. She is a consistant and very frequent drinker, partier, mild drug abuser, pill popper, she has been unfaithful to me (painful at my very core), very disrespectful, listens to very evil and wordly music and repeats the lyrics, dances half-naked on tables in clubs, and whatever else I don’t see (I try not to let my imagination torment me). She is 21 years old. We have a baby child together who I am watching while she parties with her friends tonight. She gets drunk to the point of sickness and poisoning and is vulnerable at this state. I tried 3 times to take her home from the party and she insults me, belittles me, mocks me, her mouth is satan’s tool to my ears. None of her promises are good. I’m suffering. She chooses everything (drinking, friends, partying, etc) over me most of the time. this has been going on for two years now and is getting worse. As the “man of the house” yea right, I have no control over my own household. she is beligerent, she says whatever perverse and damagingly painful thing that comes to her mind. She drinks before work, during work, and after work in a bar she waitresses at. I’ve tried to get her into a different job twice. In fact she was hired at another job! but decided she couldn’t leave her friends. Some of her friends are very worldly and evil, they sleep around, do drugs, hate God, encourage every unholy and unrighteous act, they encourage her to go out drinking with other Army men and who cares what I have to say about it! They’re not secretive about it either, they tell her to ignore me and come out, and she does. A million and one guys want to have her, have sex with her, be with her and they openly display that too. She is beautiful, very beautiful. My “wife” is lost, somewhere inside she is still there I think, in the meantime I feel like God may be using me to bring her back-that is my role isn’t it? It isn’t working. That is however what I hope for that she will soon change, but at the same time I also hope that God will be merciful and gracious to me and let me go from all this. I just read “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis and when the devils had learned of and were disheartend that the young Christian man was going to take for his wife a woman who was a great Christian and would help him live closer to God and all things good, I literally cried. because that is what I want so much so. How can she be so cruel to me, so disrespectful, so unloving!?

thank you for your time:cool:
 
May our Heavenly Father give you courage and gifts nessasary to not only endure,but to be victorious.Holy Spirit give Peace,Longsuffering,Blessed Hope and the assurance that you are present.Lord Jesus surround this family with your Love and Protection.Hail Mary full of Grace the Lord is with thee,Blessed art thou among women and Blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.Holy Mary, Mother of God,Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.Amen:signofcross:
 
My sympathy goes to you, I feel awful that you have so much torment coming from your spouse…But I’m glad you recognize that her actions aren’t Christian. I hope this helps, I’m not aware of the full situation, or what happens day to day, but if you haven’t talked about the distance her actions are placing between you two, then that may be a good start. Open and honest communication is great. Unfortunately, drug and alcohol addictions are very powerful. You could speak with your priest about this as well, either at your parish, or a neighboring parish. It may be best to create a backup plan as well, in case things don’t go well: you are the mature, responsible adult in the household, and you’ve got a child to protect, especially if the mother is doing drugs.

Could God be leading her back to faith through you? Absolutely. But there’s also a time where it takes tough love for that to happen. You’d know the situation better, and only you can determine the path, but perhaps a DUI, coming home to the locks being changed, a drug test, something like that is what it takes to wake some people up. Only you can assess it if it comes to that. But being that you have a child, you should consider documenting the behavior, particularly the drugs and more extreme behavior. If it ends up in court down the line, the courts often favor the mother with custody, which would make your case harder to prove. Those solid details and dates, etc, documented earlier make it easier for you to prove your side. If you ever find her drugs in the house, just call the police. Drugs should not be in the house with kids no matter what.

That’s my opinion, and I hope it helps. I hope things get better, but from your post, it sounds like she is the one who has to change her ways, and she has to want to do that, which isn’t easy. Good luck with everything with whatever is on life’s path for you.
 
I will be praying for your family. It is always so very hard to be in this position. I wish I had more words, but I know there are many of us going through this. Pray for her, and keep your children from this dangerous behavior. It is not fair for them to be subjected to any abuse.
 
**†JMJTJ†
Your intentions will be in my prayers.

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, so that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen

God bless you †**
 
My prayers are with you my friend. I work with a guy that has gone through many of the same things you have mentioned. It also tore him up and his wife refused to get help for her problems. I will pray for you and that your wife will see the light some day. Take care of your child and stay close to our Lord…
 
If I were you Simon I think I would also go see a social worker and get some support, you may need some legal stuff. With your knowledge of all this and having a baby they may ask why didn’t you come sooner. YOu do not have to tolerate all this abuse. Prayers to your family.
 
SimonArizona, i believe it is your role to make her realize and come back to God. It is every believer of the Almighty to show the right path to all who have taken the wrong way…just believe and have faith in yourself that you can do it…dont give up…we will all pray that God may give you strength to accomplish this mission God has given you…God bless you and your family

NOODLES
 
I will pray for you and your wife. May God give you peace and comfort.
 
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