Really scared of Confession

[emmavalentina]

Hey all of you,

I am catholic but it’s a long time since I made my last confession.
I am currently volunteering in India, teaching children with a difficult background in a boardingschool, and here, on the foothills of the Himalaya, I had a lot of time to think about my past and myself.
When I was younger I had a plastical surgery at a rather private bodypart. I was feeling so bad about it, crying a lot, because I did not feel comfortable and then I decided to go for it.
It did not really turn out the way I wanted it to, but most of all I felt like I betrayed God. He made me in such a perfect way and I am his creation. I feel bad, that I could not accept His will and trust Him more, that I am wonderful and that he made me the right way. I feel bad that I have been so shallow.
I feel like this stands in the way to my relationship with him. I pray a lot about it and I told Him that I am sorry, but still I don’t really feel forgiven.
I would like to confess it, but on the other hand I can not speak it out loud. Do I have to tell the priest exactely what I’ve done? I want to do it the right way, but I don’t think that I can talk about the details with him. And I don’t think that this is a confession he hears everyday…
In India I saw how superficial I was before. I feel sorry for not living with an open heart, but rather worrying about “problems” such as clothes and boys and so on.
I don’t know what to do now and I really hope you can help me. I want to be free from the past so that I can focus on my present.

Thanks a lot and I am sorry for my bad English, it is not my mother tongue!

 

[JerryZ]

Hey all of you,

I am catholic but it’s a long time since I made my last confession.
I am currently volunteering in India, teaching children with a difficult background in a boardingschool, and here, on the foothills of the Himalaya, I had a lot of time to think about my past and myself.
When I was younger I had a plastical surgery at a rather private bodypart. I was feeling so bad about it, crying a lot, because I did not feel comfortable and then I decided to go for it.
It did not really turn out the way I wanted it to, but most of all I felt like I betrayed God. He made me in such a perfect way and I am his creation. I feel bad, that I could not accept His will and trust Him more, that I am wonderful and that he made me the right way. I feel bad that I have been so shallow.
I feel like this stands in the way to my relationship with him. I pray a lot about it and I told Him that I am sorry, but still I don’t really feel forgiven.
I would like to confess it, but on the other hand I can not speak it out loud. Do I have to tell the priest exactely what I’ve done? I want to do it the right way, but I don’t think that I can talk about the details with him. And I don’t think that this is a confession he hears everyday…
In India I saw how superficial I was before. I feel sorry for not living with an open heart, but rather worrying about “problems” such as clothes and boys and so on.
I don’t know what to do now and I really hope you can help me. I want to be free from the past so that I can focus on my present.

Thanks a lot and I am sorry for my bad English, it is not my mother tongue!

I think that it would help that when you confess you block out the priest out of your mind and recognize that you are confessing to Jesus.
Since it is him that is forgiving you.
Once you speak out your sin no matter what it is GOD mercy is infinite and will forgive you, you will feel like a mountain has been lifted from your soul.
Pray to GOD that he gives you the strenght and the humility to go to confession, I know he wants to forgive you.
GOD bless.

 

[englishredrose]

By starting to write it down here might have helped you get a grasp of some of those words that we all need when faced with fear. If nothing else, print of what you have written, (In your own language perhaps) book an appointment with your local priest and show it him and he will hopefully guide you through what is troubling you but this can be your starting point. Ask him about confession and tell him you’re scared too and he will hopefully seek to reassure you there is nothing to be scared of because God is already aware of what is on your heart.

peace be with you
xxx

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Hey all of you,

I am catholic but it’s a long time since I made my last confession.
I am currently volunteering in India, teaching children with a difficult background in a boardingschool, and here, on the foothills of the Himalaya, I had a lot of time to think about my past and myself.
When I was younger I had a plastical surgery at a rather private bodypart. I was feeling so bad about it, crying a lot, because I did not feel comfortable and then I decided to go for it.
It did not really turn out the way I wanted it to, but most of all I felt like I betrayed God. He made me in such a perfect way and I am his creation. I feel bad, that I could not accept His will and trust Him more, that I am wonderful and that he made me the right way. I feel bad that I have been so shallow.
I feel like this stands in the way to my relationship with him. I pray a lot about it and I told Him that I am sorry, but still I don’t really feel forgiven.
I would like to confess it, but on the other hand I can not speak it out loud. Do I have to tell the priest exactely what I’ve done? I want to do it the right way, but I don’t think that I can talk about the details with him. And I don’t think that this is a confession he hears everyday…
In India I saw how superficial I was before. I feel sorry for not living with an open heart, but rather worrying about “problems” such as clothes and boys and so on.
I don’t know what to do now and I really hope you can help me. I want to be free from the past so that I can focus on my present.

Thanks a lot and I am sorry for my bad English, it is not my mother tongue!

I think it would help you the most if you could be totally honest with the priest. Think of him as Jesus because in that confessional, he is acting as Jesus. There are no secrets from Jesus anyway! He already knows what you did, and He knows your heart about it, too. He needs to hear your pain. No, the priest may not have heard your exact confession every day, but trust me, he HAS heard your regrets from other people in different circumstances. It’s all the same sin, in the end, and also bear in mind that he is given the grace of amnesia when he leaves the confessional (many priests speak of this grace).

God bless you for your ministry of teaching! Don’t be afraid! Just go, swallow your pride and fear and just go.

Praying for you!

 

[Ben_F]

I really liked your post. I sincerely believe, that you´re not alone in how you feel about a very wonderful gift. The gift of Holy Sacramental Recociliation with our Creator. Imagine how it would be with us, if we didn´t have this precious gift. We all should reflect on it´s uniquiness. It´s really the only way back to God. When we sin, only forgiveness wipes that sin away. I myself, have had problems, on how much detail I should put in Confession. It´s like writing. An effective writer is a person that writes completely, but at the same time, is brief. A good confession is one that is complete, as well as, brief. The poster, that said imagine that your talking to Jesus. That´s good advice. Don´t just imagine that you´re talking to Jesus. Know you´re talking to Jesus. You ARE talking to Jesus. The Priest is just merely His ear and tongue. The joy that we all should experience, knowing, that we´re face to face with Jesus. The Jesus that will love us no matter what we do. The joy in hearing His words. I obsolve you from your sins, go and sin no more. Imagine how the prostitute felt when she heard these words. Imagine how St. Peter felt, when he heard them from one of Jesus´ Apostles. I have no doubt that you will make a good confession. I have no doubt that the fear of confession will disappear. St Theresa once commented on prayer. She said, that it is not how we pray, but rather, if we do. I think the same thing could be said about the Holy Sacrament of Reconciliation. By the way. Your English is supurb. Didn´t catch any accent. God bless:thumbsup:

 

[Holly3278]

I think it is important to remember that Confession is completely and totally private. The priest would be automatically excommunicated if he revealed anything you said in Confession. In fact, I think this same excommunication applies even if he simply says you went to Confession. This is known as the seal of Confession. From what I understand, this excommunication can only be lifted by the Pope, himself. So as you can see, the Church takes the privacy of Confession very seriously. So if its privacy that you are concerned about, I wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t know of a single priest who would be willing to be excommunicated for violating the Seal of Confession. Also, it might be the Seal of the Confessional and not Confession that I am thinking of. Nevertheless, the way I described it still applies.

 

[DobryKatarzyna]

I like to think of a priest as kinda sorta like a therapist. Obviously, a priest is not a medical professional, a PhD, or anything of that sort. I still find it helpful to think of him in this way because, just as a therapist is supposed to help you communicate better with your loved ones and make positive changes in your life, a priest can help you communicate better with God and help you make changes in your spiritual life, which to me is even better. Some people have no problem confessing their secrets to total strangers who don’t necessarily have to keep that information private, i.e. taxi drivers. To me, going to a priest pales by comparison.

Something else to keep in mind? That priest has likely seen it all, heard it all, and done it all. It is very highly unlikely that you will tell him something that he will be shocked or particularly upset by. And if you want, you can choose the old-school private confessionals with the screens. Or if it feels less cold and more personal, do the Room of Reconciliation.

 

[Prayer_Warrior]

I think it would be fine to say it just the way you said it here. You could make it more succinct by saying something like, “I had an unnecessary plastic surgery back in India and I now recognize that it was due to pride, vanity and lack of trust in God’s goodness.” Or something like that.

However, since the issue of “private body part” still seems to be bothering you, I would make a point to speak it out. It seems (I may be wrong) that you are going beyond the healthy regret for your action and having shame or embarrassment. In your embarrassment to be totally forthright with the priest, ask yourself, are you are still hanging on to a little pride there? It’s good you see where you went wrong, and that you have repented, but are you able to humble yourself before God completely so that He can heal you? (Believe me, I’m not judging, because I’m just as proud and just as much of a sinner.) You will be absolved, no matter how you say it, as long as you are being truthful in your confession and not concealing sin, but I feel that being as honest with your confessor as you were with us is going to allow you to really embrace the peace and reconciliation that comes from the Sacrament and your penance.

Our goal is to be as humble as possible. Humility cannot be humiliated. Because to be humiliated is to lower oneself in your own eyes or in the eyes of others. But if you are truly humble, you recognize your lowliness and how great God is and that all you have is due to His goodness. You are who you are in Christ Jesus, no more, no less.

With all that said, go and do your best at confession, weighing what I have said and what others have said. When you are done, do your penance and then never look back on it again as being an obstacle between you and God. He wants your heart, your love and your honesty… if the words don’t come out perfectly at confession it is ok, He knows you have repented and He has forgiven you.

PS. You were able to say this to us, because you had the veil of anonymity. Most Churches still have a partition in the confessional and also have the ability to sit face to face with the priest. If you feel more comfortable with the partition for this confession, there is nothing wrong with that.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Something else to keep in mind? That priest has likely seen it all, heard it all, and done it all. It is very highly unlikely that you will tell him something that he will be shocked or particularly upset by. And if you want, you can choose the old-school private confessionals with the screens. Or if it feels less cold and more personal, do the Room of Reconciliation.

I sure HOPE the priest hasn’t “done it all!!!”