Yeah, it is, very terrifying.
Yeah I understand all of that. But it seems so real. I mean it’s very hard to explain but it feels so real to me. It’s not just a vague sense of intense fear, but actually sensing a presence around me, that I can even feel shift around. It’s terrifying, and sometimes just totally random.
I’ve thought of it being my imagination, but it is so tangible. I almost feel like I could reach out and touch something when it is at its worst.
I’m really trying not to take this personally, but I wonder how you must view this if you are suggesting I see a psychologist/psychiatrist.
I am seeing a psychologist, but about different issues. But I just can’t go mentioning what I am feeling about this, then them recommend me to a psychiatrist who prescribes some kind of medication that messes with my brain chemistry. I’m a musician; I can’t have something like that messing with me, even if I thought it was needed, which I don’t.
The truth is that I’ve felt these things ever since I started messing with the occult, about 8-9 years ago. I’m just really getting tired of it.
So in your view, what is the point of talking to the priest then?
As for all of that, I don’t know what to say because I’m not familiar enough with the Church’s teachings to comment.
I just know that the things mentioned in this thread have helped me a great deal in facing these fears. They are still present but I feel a lot more protected against them.
I told you about two times that I got scared by figments of my imagination. When that happened to me, it wasn’t just “very real,” it was completely, 100% real. Yes, it wasn’t a vague sense of fear for me, I actually 100% believed that I was being stalked by somebody wanting to kill me and I actually thought I was about to be attacked by monsters that wanted to kill me. To be specific, with the stalker that wanted to kill me: I felt his presense and I could hear him, it was 100% real. With the monsters, I knew exactly how they were going to attack, they were going to come up right through the ground we were standing on. This was 100% real. I could feel their presense, although I couldn’t hear them (they are silent when they move through the ground).
Yeah, it was terrifying. But for me, it turned out that it was all just a figment of my imagination, caused by the intense movie I had just watched.
Now say I didn’t realize it was a figment of my imagination and I continued to be terrified for years that somebody was about to attack me that wanted to kill me and that I was about to be attacked by monsters that wanted to kill me. And say I got on some internet discussion board, and I was told “oh yes, there is somebody that is trying to kill you,” and “there are monsters that are trying to kill you,” by people that told me they felt the same way. And they told me all these stories about the stalkers and the monsters and recommended ways in which I could fight the stalkers and the monsters with holy water and prayers and medals and whatever. Yeah, I might think that is helping me, but it really isn’t, because all they are doing is reinforcing this belief I have that I have a stalker trying to kill me, that there are monsters trying to kill me… when it’s all just superstition… all just a figment of my imagination.
Like I said, for me, it turned out that it was all just a figment of my imagination, caused by the intense movie I had just watched. Movies aren’t real. Likewise, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out for you that it was all just a figment of your imagination, caused by your belief in the intense occult experieces you had, just like the intense movie experiences I had. IMO, the occult is not real, just like movies are not real. I recommend you see a priest because I think you would be more likely to believe him when he tells you the occult is not real. It’s just a superstition, and superstitions are not real, which is why they lead you away from God, who is real, IMO.
Let’s say the occult was very real to you, and that you want to tell me: “How dare I tell you it wasn’t?” Well, I’ve been in love with a girl that I thought was my soul mate, I thought I was perfect for her. How dare she tell me that my love wasn’t true, wasn’t real? And that’s what she did. And, actually, that still bothers me some nights, even today, because I sometimes still believe my love for her was really real, really meant to be, and sometime that terrifies me because it is so real. But on the flip side, I’ve had girls in love with me that thought they were my soul mate, that they were perfect for me, that what we had was “real,” and it wasn’t. How dare I tell them that?
It’s complicated. The human mind is complicated. I don’t see why you feel threatend that I recommend you see a mental health professional. I think everybody should see a mental health professional, just like everybody sees a dental health professional, etc. Is your dental health really more important than your mental health?
My post got cut short because it was too long, so I will post the rest in my next post…