Also I have another question that I can’t really get a clear answer since i can not find anyone else on this forum that has been through the exact same situation. From my understanding is that Catholics do not recognize marriages that were done out side the church and because of such if a couple was to divorce that was not married in the church it really was not a divorce because they were never really married.
The reason I ask this is because my husband was married once before. They were not married in the Catholic church. …Now I have read some things that talk about annulments, but I am unsure that he would need one if I was to join because he never been married in the Catholic church. (I am not even sure if he is confirmed or not if that makes a difference) I really don’t want that to impede me if this is the path I want to take. Can you clarify the need for annulment in my situation since I have read post that say yes and other say no. Also can some one tell me how different what I was taught vs what is taught in the Catholic church.
Baptism is what the Church Tribunal will look at to see if the person is “Catholic” and therefore would be required to be “married in the Church”. Since your husband is a Baptized Catholic, he was required to be “married in the Church.” Once he divorced the woman that he married outside the Church, he needs an annulment that declares he is free to marry.
The Marriage Tribunal will most likely grant this very quickly as a matter of “lack of form” as The Wanderer mentioned in Post #8. Your husband did not follow the “form” of marriage when he received “marriage” outside the Church (without the proper form).
Once he applies for the annulment and receives this from the Marriage Tribunal, you two will be free to marry within the Church. Until he seeks an annulment, the Church considers his first marriage valid. The Church does not consider marriages invalid until and unless, one of the spouses presents it to the Tribunal asking it to be considered null.
There should be someone at the parish who will help your husband with the paperwork. It should be very simple in his case - due to a lack of form. This is the first place to start… at the parish office.
Here is an explanation I put on another thread trying to explain annulments.
Annulments are based on the situations at the time of the marriage to see if the information given to the marriage tribunal points to the Church’s understanding of marriage, meaning God will united as one - the husband and wife.
If the tribunal looks at the case, as presented by the person, and see it fits the criteria of not being a valid marriage, then the annulment is given. The marriage is declared as null - never having been conveyed on the couple by God.
If a couple enters into marriage having met all the valid requirements the Church understands as necessary for marriage - there will be no annulment . We, “people”, can not “take apart” what God has bound. God binds the couple as “one” - no longer “two”.
(Your husband did not follow the requirements of the Church to be married within the Church. The Church needs a “Church witness” - a priest or deacon - to witness the marriage. So, it will be seen that he did not meet the requirements to have a valid marriage. Very likely the Tribunal will declare God never united him and his first wife as one. )
After a “VALID” marriage has taken place, after the binding as one by God - lots of bad things can happen within that marriage. People can bring very damaging sins into their marriage. It is still a valid marriage.
The Church never ask that people must remain in a damaging or dangerous situation. Couples are allowed to separate. Couples are allowed to legally separate their marriage by divorce. However, they are still united as one. (Remember I am speaking in the case of a “valid beginning” of the marriage, a marriage when God united them as one.)
A really bad example: Think of recipes that can be separated after mixing… trail mix… after you mix it together you can still separate the “pretzels and raisins” from each other. A marriage might begin as “pretzels and raisins”. Everything “appears” in place. The couple is in love, they follow all the Church requirements before the marriage ceremony, the priest/deacon is present, the ceremony follows the rules of the Church, the vows are exchanged. It appears the couple is now married by God to be one. (Mixed together, we see “Trail Mix.”)
Then after a legal divorce, one of the spouses ask the marriage tribunal to look at “all the facts” at the time of the marriage and ask if their marriage was valid. Based on the information presented regarding the time the marriage took place, it may be seen that what appears as a marriage is actually two people not united as one. Everyone saw a marriage - (Trail Mix) but its really still “pretzels and raisins”. The couple legally were married, but not united by God as one. The raisins are still raisins and the pretzels are still pretzels - nothing changed.
The key is “Did God unite the couple as one, which can only be separated by death.” The answer is either “Yes, God united them as one” or “No, God did not unite them as one.”
Once God unites a couple, they can’t be separated. In your kitchen, you can’t “uncook” scrambled eggs. There is a change to the substance. You can’t separate the egg back to its original state before the heat was added. You can do things to it that damage it, makes no one want to eat it, but it can not be separated back to how it appears before the heat combined it together. You can damage a valid marriage, but you can not separate the union of one, back to two.
