Reasonable grounds for spacing births

[lassi]

PS, let your husband know ahead of time when you’re fertile. Just break it down Barney style for him, ie, “The 15th -21st is when I can get pregnant”, or something like that.

 

[renee1258]

In the next year or two, I will be certified in the Billings Ovulation method. Buth Husband and Wife had to be present in the class. In the beginning it is the husband who does the chart, so he is well aware of how his wife’s body works.

We space also, but we talk about if I’m fertile or not BEFORE going to bed. Some of our reasoning might not sound grave to also, such as I don’t want to give birth in the middle of the New England winter. Or since I gain a lot of weight in each pregnancy, I want to be at a healthy pre-pregnancy wieght before achieving.

It is very frustrating to have this type of conversation in the middle of fooling around, and in the midst of passion say “hey you know I’m fertile”. That is not the time to be in prayer asking for God’s will. Husbands should be fully aware before trying to make a move in bed, what they are opening themselves into.

 

[KCT]

AServantofGod:

Not both of us are aware of my fertile times; my husband knows only if I tell him, so that puts it on my shoulders.

So tell him! If he wants to postpone having a child, maybe he ought to be more aware of when it could happen. Ideally, it shouldn’t be up to you. If you get pregnant, he should never say it’s ‘your fault’. He should be as aware as you.
—KCT

 

[otm]

AServantofGod:

Yes, we are open to life in our relations. In other words, if God were to bless us with another child we would be open to God’s will for our family. The issue is not that I am not open to to life in our relations, but that I am not open to relations. I am just too aware and thinking of fertile vs nonfertile times. Does this make sense?

Perhaps. AS I read your answer, my understanding is that at least one of you (you) if not both, do not want to have a child right now.

If not both, then you need to be working that out. If both (and I assume good faith), then you are doing (or rather, not doing) what you need to (do or not do). The only problem I would see is if you are not both on the same page.

But maybe I’m dense.

 

[otm]

AServantofGod:

Yes, but who is to judge whether another child will drive us nuts beyond recognition? I feel that since I have a very demanding child. But am I not supposed to trust God?

a demanding child can often cause fear that the next one will be the same. Each child is unique; each has his or her own personality.

If you find with another one that they too are demanding, I would suggest that rather than looking at genetics for an answer, one should look at parenting style; too often several “demanding” children are that way because the children set the rules, not the parents.