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Tom317
Guest
Sorry for mis-understanding you.
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apricot_yogurt
Guest
That is such a positive thing to hear, we have 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, and we are hopefully expecting our fifth. We have plenty of room for a few more then!
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Tom317
Guest
Do we really want a situation where our kids have to sleep on the floor?
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buffalo
Guest
It won’t kill them. Of course we would try to provide a bed.
Ask your kids if they would rather have another brother or sister, or be guaranteed a bed to sleep in.
Ahhh, our American expectations. We are the wealthiest nation in the world. Millions do far worse than this.
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lifeisbeautiful
Guest
I’m not sure if you understood what I was saying Teakafrog…
What I said does not contradict what you are saying here…
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Tom317
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I am no materialistic prude. Yet, a bed and food to eat is the minimum requirements. Those poor people in the world who do not have those basics are a very sad story, which is why the world needs to do everything it can to help thos truly less fortunate. Being able to eat and sleep comfortably seems to be the very least we should provide.It won’t kill them. Of course we would try to provide a bed.
Ask your kids if they would rather have another brother or sister, or be guaranteed a bed to sleep in.
Ahhh, our American expectations. We are the wealthiest nation in the world. Millions do far worse than this.
I do NOT think it is an American expectation that ours kids at least have a bed!
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gardenswithkids
Guest
Happiness is a great reason for Catholics to have large families.
I am currently reading a book called Covenanted Happiness that many here would find enlightening.
“Couples still hope to be blessed with happiness in marriage; but they no longer seem sure about who is going to do the blessing or how it is to come about.” from Covenanted Happiness by Cormac Burke. Monsignor Burke makes a strong case that children are a major source of happiness in married love, and that large Catholic families should be the norm, rather than the exception.
Initially our spouse attracts us, and vice versa. As spouses live together, we discover unattractive faults in each other which can strain a marriage. Children help correct our personal faults and selfish tendencies. More children usually help us become less selfish and more virtuous. As spouses grow in virtue, they become more attractive to each other.
The task of raising children is a noble task that spouses accomplish together. Certainly raising a large family involves struggles, but happiness is not simply the absence of struggles. Overcoming struggles often produces greater happiness. Happiness demands effort, and the effort of raising a good family produces great happiness.
Within a large family, additional children also help the existing children to become less selfish. Selfishness is one of the greatest impediments to happiness. Those who learn to appreciate little things (which in some circumstances may be very little) are far more likely to find happiness than materialistic children who only lack gratitude.
Covenanted Happiness beautifully presents the Catholic Church teachings on marriage and demonstrates how generous married love helps us achieve and deepen our personal happiness.
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vluvski
Guest
Tom317,
It’s really a shame people have decided to use this thread to flame you. With six kids already and your openness to arguments in favor of additional children, it seems highly unlikely that you have bought into the culture that evaluates children in the same way they would evaluate the purchase of their home.
There are people on this board who would disagree that my husband and I have discerned that God wants us to postpone children so that we are financially prepared for a large family whose mother is able to stay at home with them. We believe that the presence of a stay-at-home parent is important enough to sacrifice a couple years of parenthood (lack thereof rather) so we are financially able to bring more children into a home with a SAHM.
Sorry to hijack the thread. Tom, don’t worry about being judged by well-meaning posters who encourage you to trust in God by abandoning NFP to avoid. There are many other ways to trust in God using the intellect He gave us. “Seek and ye will find!”
It’s really a shame people have decided to use this thread to flame you. With six kids already and your openness to arguments in favor of additional children, it seems highly unlikely that you have bought into the culture that evaluates children in the same way they would evaluate the purchase of their home.
There are people on this board who would disagree that my husband and I have discerned that God wants us to postpone children so that we are financially prepared for a large family whose mother is able to stay at home with them. We believe that the presence of a stay-at-home parent is important enough to sacrifice a couple years of parenthood (lack thereof rather) so we are financially able to bring more children into a home with a SAHM.
Sorry to hijack the thread. Tom, don’t worry about being judged by well-meaning posters who encourage you to trust in God by abandoning NFP to avoid. There are many other ways to trust in God using the intellect He gave us. “Seek and ye will find!”
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Tom317
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Thank you. I do think the people here mean well, yet I also think the Catholic Church has a fairly new strain of people who like to think of themselves as being more “Catholic” then their neighbor. My wife I would welcome more children if that is God’s will, yet pursuing additional children is different then accepting/welcoming children God might “surprise” us with.
I also do not think it is being materialistic to want each of my kids to have their own bed.
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Teakafrog
Guest
Yeah, I know…I meant to put one of those ‘amen’ smileys and forgot…
I DO agree with you!
And Tom, all my comments were not directed specifically at you, but at the idea as a whole. As others have mentioned, even as Catholics, we, as a whole, tend to ‘protestantize’ ourselves by picking and choosing which doctrines to agree with. As we faithful Catholics know, that is a big no-no! Not trying to single you out, just pointing out the obvious for the other readers of this thread.
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buffalo
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I apologize tom317. I was a bit tough here. I often hear “we can’t afford anymore kids as they set sail on a 10,000 cruise etc…” You know the story; 2.1 kids and a pet.
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Tom317
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I feel confused as to why you refer to “protestantize” in the conext of this discussion. How many Protestants have six kids and would be open to accept more?
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Tom317
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No problem, I don’t think anyone here means any harm. I have family members who are no longer Catholic (most really), and most of my siblings have had zero-3 kids maximum. One sibling has one child and that sibling is very, very comfortable financially with a 4,000 square foot house. They are in my prayers every single day.
It is only because I want to do God’s will that I even posed my questions.
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Teakafrog
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Again, please read my last statement. I already said I was not talking directly about you. There are many ‘Catholics’ who do this. If you do not, then I was not talking about you.
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Tom317
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Okay as I scratch my head…
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lifeisbeautiful
Guest
Lol, sorry, I wasn’t sure but thought maybe the message I was trying to convey was unclear due to the wording I had used… Hehe, your post doesn’t really say that you disagree anyways, my bad for reading it that wayYeah, I know…I meant to put one of those ‘amen’ smileys and forgot…
I DO agree with you!
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leonie
Guest
Wo
Wow sounds like a great book. It’d be a good read for late teen or young adult as they are looking for a spouse and forming their concept of authentic Catholic family life.Happiness is a great reason for Catholics to have large families.
I am currently reading a book called Covenanted Happiness that many here would find enlightening.
“Couples still hope to be blessed with happiness in marriage; but they no longer seem sure about who is going to do the blessing or how it is to come about.” from Covenanted Happiness by Cormac Burke. Monsignor Burke makes a strong case that children are a major source of happiness in married love, and that large Catholic families should be the norm, rather than the exception.
Initially our spouse attracts us, and vice versa. As spouses live together, we discover unattractive faults in each other which can strain a marriage. Children help correct our personal faults and selfish tendencies. More children usually help us become less selfish and more virtuous. As spouses grow in virtue, they become more attractive to each other.
The task of raising children is a noble task that spouses accomplish together. Certainly raising a large family involves struggles, but happiness is not simply the absence of struggles. Overcoming struggles often produces greater happiness. Happiness demands effort, and the effort of raising a good family produces great happiness.
Within a large family, additional children also help the existing children to become less selfish. Selfishness is one of the greatest impediments to happiness. Those who learn to appreciate little things (which in some circumstances may be very little) are far more likely to find happiness than materialistic children who only lack gratitude.
Covenanted Happiness beautifully presents the Catholic Church teachings on marriage and demonstrates how generous married love helps us achieve and deepen our personal happiness.
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THutch04
Guest
If you had asked me when I was 10 if I’d rather have another sibling or be guaranteed a bed I would’ve said be guaranteed a bed. I always volunteered to sleep on the floor whenever it became necessary (for sleeping over at someone else’s house or dorm room, or when we would try to save money by fitting our whole family into a king-sized bed in a motel when we would travel…I’m one of those people who needs my minimum six inches of personal space). I’ve done that quite a bit while out at school. I do happen to have back problems now, I guess I wasn’t as invincible as I thought…now I just have to fight with the cat for my bed, since she thinks it’s hers…ok, back on topic!
Out of the kids I know who are from large families, I know of one who is completely unsatisfied and that’s it. The kids who are from larger families tend to be very happy and value their relationships with their siblings. They also tend to have very involved parents who really do care about their welfare, and they always seem to be able to turn to their parents or siblings for advice. Although I can’t say I’ve ever wished for more siblings, I do wish that my family’s relationship was as strong. It would be nice to sometimes feel like I could turn to a family member once in awhile.
Reason to have a big family: From my observation, even though the lack of privacy and the constant company may drive you or your children crazy at times, they tend to appreciate and really value the support. They are also always able to connect with someone from their family. When parents die, it’s siblings who will be able to share memories from growing up. Somewhat off topic: my German teacher is an only child, married an only child, and had an only child. Her daugher now wants to have a very large family, because she never had the experience of siblings or even aunts and uncles.
Out of the kids I know who are from large families, I know of one who is completely unsatisfied and that’s it. The kids who are from larger families tend to be very happy and value their relationships with their siblings. They also tend to have very involved parents who really do care about their welfare, and they always seem to be able to turn to their parents or siblings for advice. Although I can’t say I’ve ever wished for more siblings, I do wish that my family’s relationship was as strong. It would be nice to sometimes feel like I could turn to a family member once in awhile.
Reason to have a big family: From my observation, even though the lack of privacy and the constant company may drive you or your children crazy at times, they tend to appreciate and really value the support. They are also always able to connect with someone from their family. When parents die, it’s siblings who will be able to share memories from growing up. Somewhat off topic: my German teacher is an only child, married an only child, and had an only child. Her daugher now wants to have a very large family, because she never had the experience of siblings or even aunts and uncles.
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leonie
Guest
one of friends who works with homeless families says most that she meets with don’t have family to turn to in a crisis.
I have another friend with 9 kids who has an autistic son. One thing she really appreciates is that her autistic child will have so many siblings to care for him when she is gone.
I have another friend with 9 kids who has an autistic son. One thing she really appreciates is that her autistic child will have so many siblings to care for him when she is gone.
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Tom317
Guest
think foot, water and a bed are the least a parent should provide. If they have kids, yet cannot provide those three basics, then they should not be trying to have more children…imo.
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