Reasons why I lose my faith

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I have tried so hard to pray and have hope. But Every time I turn around, there is another obstacle and hassle in my life. I have set aside using birth control, and trying NFP and being open to new life, and now I feel like it’s the wrong thing to do. My husband has been laid off, we have minimal money. can barely afford our rent. Our truck is getting repoed on Sunday. Our lights were disconnected today. I just can’t ale the stress anymore. It is so hard to remain hopeful and happy about this new baby coming when everything is so bad right now. I can’t take it. Where is god? Why haven’t my prayers worked? I am trying … I really am… But I feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown today. I snapped at my kids today because they weren’t listening. When the light people came to disconnect the lights I just cried and left the house. The kids saw me. My husband probably thinks I’m mad at him. I just feel like I’m turning into a very resentful person. I want to be happy, but it seems like I was out here to suffer. It never gets better. Always worse.

Maybe if we were dishonest people, living a dishonest lifestyle, using ABC, and lying through life, maybe we would have a better shot at happiness. 😦
 
This might not help, but, when you are older and look back at your life, the hard times played well are much better than taking the easy way out.

I’m sorry you are going through this trial.
 
PaulinVA said:
This might not help, but, when you are older and look back at your life, the hard times played well are much better than taking the easy way out.

I’m sorry you are going through this trial.
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I know.

I didn’t mean that was the type of life I want to live. I love my children. However, I wish things were easier! It’s so hard to remain happy and hopeful about having children when we lose so much in the process… 😦
 
keep the faith I will add my prayers to yours and please know that God has heard you and you will receive your answers to your prayers. this to shall pass. I have had very similar situations in my life and I can remember feeling hopeless and lost but I always made it through and so will you, remember if God takes you to it he will take you through it. also as far as the electricity being off try calling the county offices for help with that, I remember that we got assistance with the bill from them when things got rough, also try catholic charities and your church.
 
Don’t Giveup your Faith. Keep Praying.

When you overcome one trial, you will face next trial which is harder than previous one and so on, this is ‘LIFE’ for all till Judgement Day. These trials are to make you to giveup Faith. So, don’t give up.Keep on praying, attend the mass without fail. ‘GOD is with you’.

Dishonest people are failed when they earned the name ‘dishonest’. Being dishonest, no happiness can be achieved apart from fake happiness.

Congrats! God heard your prayer, You are GOD’s favourite that’s why your trials are getting harder. When you keep on praying, it gets harder, harder, harder and harder, accept them with prayer…and finally you will get ‘THE CROWN’ that GOD have, for you.
 
I am praying for you and your family. If you haven’t already done so, contact the Saint Vincent de Paul society svdpusa.org/AssistanceServices.aspx They may be able to provide some temporary help with bills and food. Also, contact other agencies in your area and see what they can do for you. I’m sure you don’t want to ask for help, who would? But we all need some help now and then. I applaud you for not taking the easy way and doing what you know is right. Talk openly to your husband about your feelings. Talk to your children in ways that are appropriate for their ages. Keep praying. I’ll be praying for you as well.
 
Apologies for the barrage of questions, but just take whatever’s helpful and leave what’s not. I have to run off.
  1. Can you sell the truck and cover the cost of the loan? If so, do so. If it will take a while to find a buyer at a good price, feel free to park the truck elsewhere out of reach of the repo people until you find a good buyer. It’s in their best interests to get more money out of the truck, after all.
Normally, the advice to people who owe more on the vehicle than the loan is to sell it and take out a loan for the difference, but if you have no income, that’s probably not feasible. But if you do have income, I’d sell the truck and take out a loan for the difference.
  1. Do you have the lights back on and have you been able to find a charity that will cover your bill for the time being? You’ll feel better with electricity.
  2. Is your husband willing to drop his get-rich-stuff and just work a plain old job, even a low-paying job?
Get an appointment with St. Vincent de Paul and Catholic Charities and look up coordinators for Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. The volunteers who teach those classes will be very happy to have a look at your situation and offer some ideas–there’s probably a weekly class running somewhere very close to you, and it should be possible to talk to a coordinator before or after class if you arrange to meet beforehand.

Here’s a financial plan for when you get your lights back on:

daveramsey.com/index.cfm?event=askdave/&intContentItemId=123011

It’s called “the four walls,” and the idea is that as long as your family is able to have food, utilities, shelter, transportation, and basic clothing, you’ll feel more confident and in control of your situation and will be able to live to fight another day.

Best wishes!
 
One more thing–I understand you are embarrassed about the situation, but try to remember that you are doing this for your kids when you call agencies asking for help.

Bear in mind that a lot of places may be closed over Easter Weekend, so don’t despair if you hit some dead ends today and this weekend, particularly when calling Catholic organizations. Everything should be open again as of Monday or Tuesday.

Best wishes!
 
**Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful, strengthen the fearful,
mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us,
give your aid to all needing help or healing,
assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering,
be with those needing peace,
console the lonely or brokenhearted,
comfort the lost or hopeless,
guard the unborn,
pray for those who are dying or who have died,
soften those with hardened hearts,
enlighten those who do not yet see truth,
help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go,
show us the way to do the right thing,
protect those who are in danger,
and guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen :hug1: **
 
Oh wow, TSB4. You have been given a mighty cross to bear. This is hard to hear, but those whom God favors are the ones who endure the greatest trials. Some saints have talked about this hard truth. They have likened it to being pierced by His crown of thorns as He embraces them. Blessed Mother Teresa said that while she knows that God will never give her more than He knows she can handle, she only wishes that He didn’t trust her so much.
Please do take the good advice of the other posters who mentioned the St. Vincent dePaul Society and Catholic Charities. Also, if there are any government programs or unemployment benefits, please apply for them and use them. My husband was laid off when I was pregnant with my second child, and we had to rely on unemployment benefits for a while, as well as receive financial assistance from other avenues. We ended up losing our house after that, because there was no work to be found that would pay enough, and we had to move and abandon our home to foreclosure. It was distressing. We felt embarrassed. But we came through it. I share that with you just so you know that you are not alone in going through these kinds of struggles.
I cannot offer anything more than encouragement and prayers. I will definitely be praying for you. God bless you and your family. I wish you a very holy Easter.
 
Praying for you and your family.
May these hardships pass quickly, and abundant grace be yours.
:gopray2:
 
TSB4 said:
I have tried so hard to pray and have hope. But Every time I turn around, there is another obstacle and hassle in my life. I have set aside using birth control, and trying NFP and being open to new life, and now I feel like it’s the wrong thing to do. My husband has been laid off, we have minimal money. can barely afford our rent. Our truck is getting repoed on Sunday. Our lights were disconnected today. I just can’t ale the stress anymore. It is so hard to remain hopeful and happy about this new baby coming when everything is so bad right now. I can’t take it. Where is god? Why haven’t my prayers worked? I am trying … I really am… But I feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown today. I snapped at my kids today because they weren’t listening. When the light people came to disconnect the lights I just cried and left the house. The kids saw me. My husband probably thinks I’m mad at him. I just feel like I’m turning into a very resentful person. I want to be happy, but it seems like I was out here to suffer. It never gets better. Always worse.

Maybe if we were dishonest people, living a dishonest lifestyle, using ABC, and lying through life, maybe we would have a better shot at happiness. 😦
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Has your husband applied for unemployment?

I’m going to list some services…just take what applies to your situation. Leave the rest for someone else on the forum who might benefit.

Have you applied for TANF?
acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/programs/tanf

As an expecting mother, have you applied for WIC?
fns.usda.gov/wic/women-infants-and-children-wic

Have you applied for Medicaid?
medicaid.gov/

There is also CHIP…Children’s Medicaid.
chipmedicaid.org/es

As to food, there are Food Stamps:
gettingfoodstamps.org/whatissnap.html

Then, there are also Food Banks in the meantime:
feedingamerica.org/foodbank-results.aspx

Churches can sometimes be of help. For instance, there is the St. Vincent de Paul. They can sometimes help with something in cases like your own. They are through your local Catholic Church.

Additionally, there is Catholic Social Services. You can try to see in what way(s) they can help.

When I was in the US, there was Goodwill. In my area, they used to have someone who would do an assessment, see what the needs were. What Goodwill would help with, that would be helpful. What they can’t help with, they would refer to the proper community resources.
 
Further, many utilities…electricity, water, gas have special programs designed for the poor or elderly. In New York State, we also had HEAP.

Also, I recommend getting on budget payments if you can where the payments don’t spike over the winter months but are more or less the same all year long.
 
TSB4 said:
I have tried so hard to pray and have hope. But Every time I turn around, there is another obstacle and hassle in my life. I have set aside using birth control, and trying NFP and being open to new life, and now I feel like it’s the wrong thing to do. My husband has been laid off, we have minimal money. can barely afford our rent. Our truck is getting repoed on Sunday. Our lights were disconnected today. I just can’t ale the stress anymore. It is so hard to remain hopeful and happy about this new baby coming when everything is so bad right now. I can’t take it. Where is god? Why haven’t my prayers worked? I am trying … I really am… But I feel like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown today. I snapped at my kids today because they weren’t listening. When the light people came to disconnect the lights I just cried and left the house. The kids saw me. My husband probably thinks I’m mad at him. I just feel like I’m turning into a very resentful person. I want to be happy, but it seems like I was out here to suffer. It never gets better. Always worse.

Maybe if we were dishonest people, living a dishonest lifestyle, using ABC, and lying through life, maybe we would have a better shot at happiness. 😦
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I think you should keep your faith, and I say this a godless cynic.

We are brought into this world against our will but since we are here we have to accept it. You need realize that life is a constant struggle and suffering and hardship. There is no such thing as eternal ‘happiness’. What is happiness anyway? It’s momentary feelings of joy, it’s taking pleasure in the little things life- be it watching your favorite TV show, hearing your favorite song, eating your favorite food; it’s the overwhelming emotions experienced when one gets married, etc.

You being a mother likely experienced the joy of holding your child for the first time, watching them take their first steps and hearing them say ‘mommy’ for the first time- but with those fleeting feelings of joy comes a huge amount of grief and anxiety and stress. Raising children is hard regardless of your socioeconomic background. However you are now responsible for them; they are your reason to continue on with life.

I can’t relate to your specific situation but I can sympathize with you. Sometimes I experience sensory overload that wreaks havoc to my central nervous system. I often get caught up in an endless cycle of racing thoughts and anxiety that often make me feel like I am going to spontaneously combust. I have to just isolate myself from the outside world for a while until my nervous system calms itself.

I know what you’re probably thinking: "God why won’t you listen to me? I am trying to live a moral life, to be a good mother, to do all things a good Christian woman is supposed to do, but my kids are an infernal nightmare, I have another one on the way, our financial situation is dire- how are we going to support our children when I can barely support myself? I can’t cope! There is nothing I can do. Why I am even here? Why did I choose to have children? Why didn’t I plan my life out in advance? WHY AREN’T YOU LISTENING TO ME GOD?”.

This is where faith is extremely important. Faith gives people an inner-strength that helps them cope with the hardship in life. Your situation seems bleak at the moment, but if you have a loving husband and a loving family that can immensely help you through it.

Assuming you live in a first world nation- there is economic help that you can probably receive, and despite the underlying darkness of humanity- there are communities out there willingly to help you through it.

Just remember life is hard. There is no magic wand available to us to transform our lives into some utopian fantasy. We just have to accept the world for what it is and push our way through it.

I don’t believe in a God so I won’t pray for you, but I will wish you good luck.
 
This is NOT EASY, but what we are called to do is to offer praise and thanksgiving to God for *all *our circumstances. !

I still remember my total shock when I first heard that, close to 20 years ago. It seems like in our society if we aren’t either fretting or fuming we aren’t doing all we can… the exact opposite of what God wants us to do!

And please don’t worry about giving others the opportunity to give…

ETA: I say this as someone whose shoes have been and may be again very similar to yours.
 
So many posters have given you good advice as to places where you might get help during this difficult time for your family. Please don’t feel badly about accepting help now that you need it. The day will come when you will be able to contribute to or volunteer for the groups that can help you now. Please know that I am praying for you and your difficult situation everyday, and I am sure that I am not the only one who is praying for you and your family on the CA forums. I wish you and your family a blessed Easter.
 
Thanks everyone for your prayers. My husband was able to work out some sort of arrangement to get the lights turned back on. The electricity on our house controls everything, hot water, cooking, heat and of course lights. Thank god for that. I’m still in a very negative state of mind however, about so many other things. I’m trying to think positively, I just don’t feel it. My husband is taking off again tonight, he has to go work out of state to try and bring in some more money. I’m tired of being alone all the time. I feel like a single mom. He’s so distant, I’m assuming because of finances, that he’s pushing me away. All of this stress and we really don’t have much I a relationship. It’s really taking a toll on me. I’m tired of seeing so many supportive and involved husbands and mine could careless really about anything other than money. I understand we need it, but I need love and attention as well.

Sorry for going off on a tangent. Thank you for your prayers.
 
pessimist said:
I think you should keep your faith, and I say this a godless cynic.

You being a mother likely experienced the joy of holding your child for the first time, watching them take their first steps and hearing them say ‘mommy’ for the first time- but with those fleeting feelings of joy comes a huge amount of grief and anxiety and stress. Raising children is hard regardless of your socioeconomic background. However you are now responsible for them; they are your reason to continue on with life.

This is where faith is extremely important. Faith gives people an inner-strength that helps them cope with the hardship in life. Your situation seems bleak at the moment, but if you have a loving husband and a loving family that can immensely help you through it.
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Are you sure you’re a godless cynic? I wonder…
 
TSB4 said:
Thanks everyone for your prayers. My husband was able to work out some sort of arrangement to get the lights turned back on. The electricity on our house controls everything, hot water, cooking, heat and of course lights. Thank god for that. I’m still in a very negative state of mind however, about so many other things. I’m trying to think positively, I just don’t feel it. My husband is taking off again tonight, he has to go work out of state to try and bring in some more money. I’m tired of being alone all the time. I feel like a single mom. He’s so distant, I’m assuming because of finances, that he’s pushing me away. All of this stress and we really don’t have much I a relationship. It’s really taking a toll on me. I’m tired of seeing so many supportive and involved husbands and mine could careless really about anything other than money. I understand we need it, but I need love and attention as well.

Sorry for going off on a tangent. Thank you for your prayers.
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Once, I had one of those free energy-saving audits done from each utility. I saved quite a bit of money with the free things they gave me and tips.

Well, they said my hotwater heater was cranked all the way up, and just by turning that down, I saved some money.

With the energy audit, they gave me a low-flow showerhead. That saved me money, as well. Well, I went from using about 10-12 gallons/min. to about 2 gallons/min.

Then, when you consider the energy needed to heat all that, it was a big difference.

They also gave me some free insulation for the water tank and some for around the pipes.

They told me how to save energy. So, I got some plastic for my windows and such, I think weatherstripping.

Back in the 1980s, I got an electric bill for about $200 for a 2-month period. To me, that was a lot of money. Anyway, I found about budget billing. So, I got it budgeted over the entire year, stopped getting those huge electric bills during the winter.

In my area, I learned that electric was the most expensive form of heat. So, anything I could do to save on it would be helpful.

Then, when I was struggling, I applied for heating assistance, HEAP.

With electric, I used to put my heat down to about 42 degrees when I was gone, back up when I returned. The energy company said I would actually use more energy that way. They recommended I leave it at within about 5 degrees, between the high and the low. Anything more than that, they said would require more energy output to heat than it would be to maintain.

I got into energy-saving bulbs, but now, they are the norm. They weren’t back then.

To help pay for those high electric bills, I did some babysitting, temporarily, in addition to my regular work.
 
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