Reasons why I lose my faith

[ClearWater]

Children will probably be rough for you right now, but I think that one day, you’ll consider them all a blessing.

I have 10 brothers and sisters, and I know having a large family has actually helped both my parents, even myself.

Well, one of my sisters built another house next to hers for my parents. My father resisted till the last year or so of his life. Then, he and my mother moved out there. My sister took care of them, and he died in September in that house under Hospice care.

One of my sisters is a nurse, found out several issues my father was having, tended to him temporarily.

There were the grandkids who I think also helped out.

I know even with Jesus, it was quite hard. Mary and Joseph had to go a great distance for the census. He was born in a stable.

So, you’re actually in very good company.

This is not to in anyway diminish your sufferings. The saints tell us that those souls who God loves most, he tests more. Recall what happened with Job.

St. Theresa of Avila, St. Faustina have told us those souls who are closest to God endure the most suffering.

As to suffering, some have said that if the angels could envy us, they would envy us for 2 reasons, for being able to receive the Eucharist and for our ability to suffer.

In the meantime, why not offer up your suffering to God for a purpose…the conversion of sinners, in reparation for sins, for world peace…for the souls of purgatory…whatever you choose.

I have no spouse, no children, and no grandchildren. I have severe juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.

I’ve watched others with this same condition who have a spouse, children, grandchildren and often times at least some of these will come through in a pinch.

 

[Xantippe]

TSB4 said:

“My husband is taking off again tonight, he has to go work out of state to try and bring in some more money. I’m tired of being alone all the time. I feel like a single mom. He’s so distant, I’m assuming because of finances, that he’s pushing me away. All of this stress and we really don’t have much I a relationship. It’s really taking a toll on me. I’m tired of seeing so many supportive and involved husbands and mine could careless really about anything other than money. I understand we need it, but I need love and attention as well.”

As long as this is an actual job-job and not a pretend network marketing “job” (the kind you pay to do), that’s great.

Try to be supportive to your husband when he does good things for your family. If anything, your husband is probably even more embarrassed about your financial situation than you are. Also, I’d ask myself, did I think he was a better husband and a better man when he was making $100k a year? Is that fair? Isn’t he working just as much now? Although maybe he doesn’t know which way to go and is furiously paddling in the wrong direction?

Don’t assume too much about other people’s marriages. People are on their very BEST behavior around other people (I know I am–with occasional rare exceptions). With all the marriage counseling and divorce going on, there have to be a lot of people whose marriages are no better than yours.

 

[TSB4]

TSB4 said:

“My husband is taking off again tonight, he has to go work out of state to try and bring in some more money. I’m tired of being alone all the time. I feel like a single mom. He’s so distant, I’m assuming because of finances, that he’s pushing me away. All of this stress and we really don’t have much I a relationship. It’s really taking a toll on me. I’m tired of seeing so many supportive and involved husbands and mine could careless really about anything other than money. I understand we need it, but I need love and attention as well.”

As long as this is an actual job-job and not a pretend network marketing “job” (the kind you pay to do), that’s great.

Try to be supportive to your husband when he does good things for your family. If anything, your husband is probably even more embarrassed about your financial situation than you are. Also, I’d ask myself, did I think he was a better husband and a better man when he was making $100k a year? Is that fair? Isn’t he working just as much now? Although maybe he doesn’t know which way to go and is furiously paddling in the wrong direction?

Don’t assume too much about other people’s marriages. People are on their very BEST behavior around other people (I know I am–with occasional rare exceptions). With all the marriage counseling and divorce going on, there have to be a lot of people whose marriages are no better than yours.

Yes. In our home state, he has allot of clients whose cars he would work on. So he’s gonna go tend to those. Also, he actually is getting paid once a month from the network marketing business. Although it isn’t much, it helps. He is trying to bring his commission up, working vigorously doing so. Constantly online and on phone calls etc… But, he is getting a profit.

I just wish we had a better marriage and relationship. I have virtually no adult interaction and I’m dying for some. Also when he leaves, my panic disorder kicks into full gear. It’s super discouraging and annoying. Makes me feel worthless. Like I can’t function. Good thing is he will take the boys,(6,4) leave me the girls (almost 8, and 2) so it’s easier to deal. Aside from my daughters spazz out moments and my 8 yr old sassing me, it beats the boys constant fighting and jumping off sofas.

 

[Xantippe]

TSB4 said:

“Yes. In our home state, he has allot of clients whose cars he would work on. So he’s gonna go tend to those.”

Great.

“Also, he actually is getting paid once a month from the network marketing business. Although it isn’t much, it helps. He is trying to bring his commission up, working vigorously doing so. Constantly online and on phone calls etc… But, he is getting a profit.”

At some point, you guys need to sit down with a pad of paper, take his total network marketing incoming for the month, subtract out expenses (i.e. trip to Florida) and then divide by the total number of hours worked. The question is, is he making more than at the sort of minimum wage job where they provide the uniforms?

You may not wish to discuss that now, but I would make an appointment to have the discussion. Maybe mark your calendar for 30 or 60 days and inform him that’s when the discussion is happening. You guys need to have a kill date for the business. It may be, for instance, that you need to move back to wherever he’s doing the car work.

“I just wish we had a better marriage and relationship. I have virtually no adult interaction and I’m dying for some.”

I think those two sentences are related. He can’t be your girlfriend and he can’t supply 80% of your adult interactions–that’s not fair to either of you. You need female friends (or at least acquaintances) to supply those needs.

“Also when he leaves, my panic disorder kicks into full gear. It’s super discouraging and annoying. Makes me feel worthless. Like I can’t function. Good thing is he will take the boys,(6,4) leave me the girls (almost 8, and 2) so it’s easier to deal. Aside from my daughters spazz out moments and my 8 yr old sassing me, it beats the boys constant fighting and jumping off sofas.”

It’s good he’s taking the boys. If he takes the boys, you can leave the house with the girls, if only for a morning walk. Are you urban, suburban, or rural? The spring scenery should be just starting to improve right now.

Are the big kids in school? If not, I would encourage you to put them in school (almost any school, actually), as I don’t think you currently have the resources (either financial or mental) to homeschool.