Reasons young adults give about non practice

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So what is the answer?

How do you convey to young people why it is important for them to go to Mass and seek God?

We don’t have children.

However, we do have some nieces and nephews that might listen.
 
Filiaeccelsia and Captain America bring up good points… so many people return to the Church when they marry and have children… which leads me to wonder if there’s not a sort of intersection of things happening?

On the one hand, we might say, teens and young adults are not working towards marriage, and they have not experienced marriage. Many have little experience with babies and young children aside from when they were young. As a result, the teens and young adults do not see the necessity for boundaries around sex, because sex in our society has been divorced from procreation. To these young people, sex is a pasttime; not that they are necessarily engaging in it–they may still see it as something special or to be shared only within a special relationship–but just the social attitude of what it is: an activity rather than the special gift of sharing in creation God intends it to be.

When they marry and have children, they begin to see the truth and begin to inderstand what it’s all about. They may still need help crossing the bridge to the Church’s understanding aand resultant teaching, but they become more open to God. (Plus, like me, they may become humbled and realize that God could be really helpful!)

Anyway, perhaps part of the problem is that society has pushed the age of when it is considered appropriate to marry too far forward and disconnected school (high school) too much from one’s subsequent career. Used to be a young man would start working towards being able to support a family at a much younger age than he does now. Asking physically adult people to wait *years *before actually begin their adult lives is perhaps putting them in the way of temptation? As St Paul said, tis better to marry than to burn.

And the after years of being apart from God and the Church, and having acquired habits anti-thetical to being religious, it is harder to return. Once one has married as a non-practicioner, to suddenly change causes problems in the marriage, for example. After years of proclaiming support for immoral practices, it is hard to turn one’s head and life around.

It is hard for parents, with so little support and knowledge, to Instill the Faith sufficiently…
 
Yes, dedo, what’s the answer?

Since you’re specifically talking about young relatives, my thought is that you should never stop inviting them to come to Mass with you (or by themselves, for that matter). Don’t underestimate the impact of that personal invitation, as well as the witness of your own life of faith.

Even if you don’t talk a lot about it, that you take the care and time, not to mention risking being ignored and embarrassed by them, can make a very big impression on your relatives.

Don’t be discouraged if they don’t at first “bite” at your invitation. All we can do is plant the seeds - then it’s up to the Holy Spirit.

And keep praying for your relatives - “May they know God’s will for their lives, and be given the grace and courage to cooperate fully with it. Amen.”

I pray this for my children daily.
 
Just a P.S. to your question, dedo, about how do you instill a reason for the young person to go to Mass:

We go to Mass first to worship and thank God. Yes, we can worship and thank Him all the time no matter where we are, but the Lord and the Church teach us to gather on the day in which His resurrection is commemorated and participate in the “sacred mysteries” in His memory.

There is ancient beauty, mystery, holiness and grace at work in the Mass! I can’t think of another activity we can do that even comes close.

Here is an article to help your young relatives better understand what the Mass is:
catholiceducation.org/articles/parenting/pa0076.html

A great bishop once said that if you go to a baseball game and don’t know anything about baseball, you won’t get very much out of the experience. Likewise, if Catholics know even the basics about what they do at Mass, their wonder and awe will grow and they’ll be able to enter into it more deeply.

The Mass is not entertainment, it is not a social hour, it is not a club. We come together, people who know each other, people who don’t, it doesn’t matter because it’s not about us but about our common desire to thank God, worship our Creator and Lover, and be fed with His very body and blood for strength. Where else is this possible?!

You are wonderful for wanting to encourage and teach your young relatives in the faith. I think it’s always been up to the family to do this, at least fundamentally. You’ll be greatly blessed for the care you’re taking with them!

All good.
 
Great Points by everyone! If I may also add that is sometimes a challenge when a young person feels disconnected from the homilies. Granted, that is not a reason not to attend Mass and nobody should expect that every Sunday it will apply to them however in my limited years of attending Catholic Parishes, more often than not the homilies are geared towards families with children and things that effect their lives. It can be difficult to take away important lessons and draw strength from homilies that you feel excluded from. Being young, single, childless, working toward career or completing a professional degree most young people’s lives are not reflected in the homily regularly at all.

I find that even in my wonderful Parish when a topic or even a very short segment of the homily is about young people its usually high school aged young people and helping them through challenges (which is very important and also something that is needed) but as young people who are past that life phase but not yet married and raising families there is a disconnect. I sometimes wonder what happened first if young people stopped attending mass at least partially because of that disconnect or if the disconnect drove some to stop attending Mass.
 
Recent FB update by non-believing friend:

So a mean, jealous and vindictive God rules for thousands od years smiting people, making them suffer, sending scourges and having people them follow arbitrary rules just because. One day he decides to impregnant a teenager so that he can have his “son” born only to come and get killed. And all of the sudden God is no longer mean and jealous, but loving and forgiving and doesn’t punish people anymore because he decided to be nice again. Somehow Jesus dying saves humanity which could just have easily been saved without the crazy story if so-called God willed it. Now I am supposed to believe that the modern day Catholic church is so-called God’s will for all people’s lives even though they made most of it up. Uh, ooookay…

I think that kind of sums up the modern day non-believer
 
Jackiemom - I hope people who think this way have the chance to talk with a Christian who knows and loves their faith.

Generally, I think people know a little about a lot. A person who thinks as you quote doesn’t really know what Christianity is, what the Christian believes. This is an attitude of off-handed disregard for something they think they know but don’t know at all.

If someone were commenting about something else great, long-lived, and important historically and culturally and got it wrong because they didn’t really know what they were talking about, a more knowledgeable individual would not hesitate to tell him so and encourage him to do some basic research. Instead, we take people who talk about Christianity this way seriously.
 
Jackiemom - I hope people who think this way have the chance to talk with a Christian who knows and loves their faith.

Generally, I think people know a little about a lot. A person who thinks as you quote doesn’t really know what Christianity is, what the Christian believes. This is an attitude of off-handed disregard for something they think they know but don’t know at all.

If someone were commenting about something else great, long-lived, and important historically and culturally and got it wrong because they didn’t really know what they were talking about, a more knowledgeable individual would not hesitate to tell him so and encourage him to do some basic research. Instead, we take people who talk about Christianity this way seriously.
Actually, a few people commented that they disagreed or thought his point was sad.
 
Great Points by everyone! If I may also add that is sometimes a challenge when a young person feels disconnected from the homilies. Granted, that is not a reason not to attend Mass and nobody should expect that every Sunday it will apply to them however in my limited years of attending Catholic Parishes, more often than not the homilies are geared towards families with children and things that effect their lives. It can be difficult to take away important lessons and draw strength from homilies that you feel excluded from. Being young, single, childless, working toward career or completing a professional degree most young people’s lives are not reflected in the homily regularly at all.

I find that even in my wonderful Parish when a topic or even a very short segment of the homily is about young people its usually high school aged young people and helping them through challenges (which is very important and also something that is needed) but as young people who are past that life phase but not yet married and raising families there is a disconnect. I sometimes wonder what happened first if young people stopped attending mass at least partially because of that disconnect or if the disconnect drove some to stop attending Mass.
Wow, you have a priest who teaches lessons during the homily…

ETA: I don’t mean to make light of your situation! I was just thinking it would be so nice to have that. Most spiritual lessons kind of go across all lifestyles, bit if he usually focuss on parents and teens, maybe you could ask him about that and encourage him to mention those in other situations? Maybe say that sometimes it is hard for you to figure out how to apply the lesson in your state of life?
 
Wow, you have a priest who teaches lessons during the homily…
I thought that was the point. Semantically I may have misspoken but the purpose of the homily is to give context to the readings for better understanding so we understand what the bible is trying to teach us, yes?
 
  1. they were never bought up by their parents to attend mass weekly
  2. they only see it necessary to go at Christmas and Easter
  3. they don’t have the time
  4. they don’t find mass relevant or modern or engaging enough
  5. they don’t agree with all of the church’s teachings (ie. contraception and pre-marital sex)
  1. No
  2. See above
  3. No
  4. Yes
  5. No
So despite the sweeping generalisation, I don’t go because I don’t believe and despite trying for several years I cannot force myself to believe some fairy tales.
 
I thought that was the point. Semantically I may have misspoken but the purpose of the homily is to give context to the readings for better understanding so we understand what the bible is trying to teach us, yes?
Absolutely 🙂 Problem is, some priests do not do this.
 
  1. No
  2. See above
  3. No
  4. Yes
  5. No
So despite the sweeping generalisation, I don’t go because I don’t believe and despite trying for several years I cannot force myself to believe some fairy tales.
I don’t know if you were insinuating that I was making a sweeping generalisation, but I was simply repeating the responses I have received over the years when I ask young Catholics why they don’t attend church anymore. Those five reasons were the most common answers I was given.

It’s sad that you think the church’s teachings are just fairytales - trust me, there is nothing more truer than the word of God.
 
For anyone who hasn’t spent much time on youtube or the like lately, it has almost every single heresy in the history of the church on it right at this moment. 18-30 year old individuals do not have a lot of experience in the world and are often much more influenced by other people’s interpretations etc. They are also less likely to know what is factual information and misinformation. The reality of the matter is, part of being in the “age of information” is that there is unbelievable amounts of misinformation out there. Everywhere you turn there are people promising that you can do whatever you want and God will not care, or that The Church is evil, or that religion in general is evil, or that everyone who belongs to a religion is a simpleton etc. The Catholic today must be able to see through all of these lies, and for me at least that required experiencing life and gaining wisdom through experience. It is very easy to be mislead today and it is very tempting to listen to the people who say you have no responsibilities or obligations and can do whatever you want and God will not care. It took me a long time and a lot of experiences and a very large amount of studying history and morality before I was finally led back to the truth and the Church.
 
Let me speak here as a 21 year old who understands the modern mind of youth. Why do young people stop going to mass? Many times, I think the unfortunate truth is that the mass that they go to tries to be modern, but doesn’t cut it. Let’s just say choice of music is a huge issue. Why would a young person go to church to find that when it is so readily available everywhere else, and is much higher quality?

But if we celebrate the mass like it is the mass, when we celebrate according to the vision of the Church, then people understand: this is not like what I am getting from the outside world, this is sacred, this is set apart.

This has been my opinion for quite a while: if you want a youth mass that will really speak to their hearts, use as much Gregorian Chant as possible.
 
This has been my opinion for quite a while: if you want a youth mass that will really speak to their hearts, use as much Gregorian Chant as possible.
I concur wholeheartedly - I love Gregorian Chants. 👍
 
I wish I knew.
I have three daughters who are not attending. Please pray for them and their return to the church.
 
Let me speak here as a 21 year old who understands the modern mind of youth. Why do young people stop going to mass? Many times, I think the unfortunate truth is that the mass that they go to tries to be modern, but doesn’t cut it. Let’s just say choice of music is a huge issue. Why would a young person go to church to find that when it is so readily available everywhere else, and is much higher quality?

But if we celebrate the mass like it is the mass, when we celebrate according to the vision of the Church, then people understand: this is not like what I am getting from the outside world, this is sacred, this is set apart.

This has been my opinion for quite a while: if you want a youth mass that will really speak to their hearts, use as much Gregorian Chant as possible.
This is an excellent point Koopa and very well made. Many churches are so concerned with attracting and keeping young people that they try too hard to ‘cater’ for them and although they intend to offer a more modern experience at mass, they often get it all wrong and end up confusing the younger people and alienating the older parishioners.
This, and the bombardment of information from all media sources have robbed our young people of feeling any comfort or welcome at many churches.
 
Yes, dedo, what’s the answer?

Since you’re specifically talking about young relatives, my thought is that you should never stop inviting them to come to Mass with you (or by themselves, for that matter). Don’t underestimate the impact of that personal invitation, as well as the witness of your own life of faith.

Even if you don’t talk a lot about it, that you take the care and time, not to mention risking being ignored and embarrassed by them, can make a very big impression on your relatives.

Don’t be discouraged if they don’t at first “bite” at your invitation. All we can do is plant the seeds - then it’s up to the Holy Spirit.

And keep praying for your relatives - “May they know God’s will for their lives, and be given the grace and courage to cooperate fully with it. Amen.”

I pray this for my children daily.
Thanks for the tips.

However, I am also wondering if there is a message / strategy that is effective to attract young people to the church outside of my personal life.

In general, the young people I see are behaving better than kids did when I was younger. However, many are drifting away from organized religion in general and Catholicism in particular.

I disagree that there is “a problem with the Mass”. Mathew Kelly does some Lighthouse media CDs on “becoming the best version of yourself” that addresses the issue of “the problem with the Mass”.

Kelly discusses examples of some of the things that people say is “the problem with the Mass”. The list basically goes on and on. Kelly says that the problem is not with the Mass, but with the perspective of people who complain about the Mass. He suggests praying to receive guidance on learning one way to become a better version of yourself before every Mass, and journalling to keep track of your insights.

Personally, I have attended Masses in many states and foreign countries. Although I attend conservative all Latin Masses on occasion, I have also enjoyed modern Masses including one in Hawaii that incorporated hula into the Mass.

I don’t think the answer is “fixing the Mass”, as there is already a wide variety of choices out there in Masses and Christian churches in general.

Rather, if there is an answer it is in a message that makes religion relevant to a young person’s life in this world.

For me, although I am no risk taker, I ended up in a high risk occupation and have played some risky sports. Having seen what can happen, and has happened, I would not want to have lived without spiritual direction. However, most people don’t see life that way, or they don’t think they can be guided.

I remember when I was learning to surf, I went out with this Christian surfer dude, and he taught me to say a prayer before going out. To this day, I say a Hail Mary before starting any activity with a significant risk.

Right about that time, a strange event occurred on Oahu where a big wave surfer and his friends were about to go out. Out of no where, a guy pulls over and warns them not to go out because of expected changes in ocean conditions.

They went out anyway and the most famous surfer drowned.

I can tell you that no one tells surfers not to go out. I have only experienced this on one occasion, and that advice came from another surfer.

So I think that spiritual guidance and protection is there if people are willing to hear it.

For some reason, more and more people don’t see it that way.
 
The real problem is no cathchesis and poor arguments given for religion.
 
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