Rebelling against God

[Issa87]

I’ve become so angry that I have spent my entire 20s being sick that I just want to go out and rebel. I know it won’t give me peace, but it will make me feel in control of my life for a moment. I’m just so angry my life has been wasted. I feel so alive inside. It’s this body that betrays me. Any thoughts? I quit saying my prayers. I don’t feel like God hears me or wants what I want. I’m tired of being a broken record, and I hate suffering.

 

[tawny]

Praying for you.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Maybe just tell God how you feel and why. Under what conditions do you feel what way and why? What is it about the conditions that gets you the most? What would have to change?

If you don’t see results, that doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t doing any good. It do think it can be helpful to God to try to root out what’s really pushing this.

For example, one SD talks about the “false self” where we suffer most of our anxiety, and the “energy centers” that feed it are usually based on excessive needs or desires for things we all need some of but craving for it can lead to all sorts of anxiety. Those are security/comfort, affection/esteem, and power/control. If you feel like you are being “shortchanged” in these areas, it’s going to cause pain.

One strategy is to continue to pray privately and expose the problem as much as possible to try to find its root – especially if they can be traced to the three energy centers. Combined with that, is to learn to trust again that things will be ok – first for a second, then a minute, hour, and more – after something or some things obviously happened to cause this lack.

Lord I ask you to bring your healing touch to Issa87, in Jesus’s name. Amen.

 

[Exiled_Child]

Any thoughts?

Maybe you could rebel against your rebelliousness. You didn’t explain exactly what you’re going through or what your situation is, so it’s not possible to really offer any specific suggestions. Would you be willing and able to tell us a little more about your anger? Also, may I ask what sort of illness you’re suffering from? Are you perhaps handicapped in some way?

I’m praying.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Maybe you could rebel against your rebelliousness.

That statement strikes me as interesting.

Kind of like I want to feel in control, and that gives me urge to rebel. So I “fast” against the desire to rebel, by learning a deep form of emotional surrender, for example?

Could you liken this to the strategy of Jesus? Turn the other cheek, but plant seeds? You know that Good Seeds will eventually find good ground (especially with Internet) and find other fertile gardens to grow and effect change. And He only did miracles to establish His credentials; we do the ongoing work. “Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes in me will do the works that I do, and will do greater ones than these, because I am going to the Father.” (Jn 14:12) So even after the world kills Him, His work continues.

“If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first.” - Jn 15:18

So it could be like a stealth approach to rebelling? Remain silent, watch and learn. Become an observer of your own situation and imagine yourself watching from a distance as you and those around you go about doing whatever you do. This detaches the emotional experience connected to the artifacts of your environment from the descriptive “non-judging” eye of a third party observer as best as possible, limited only by the skill of imagination – with the advantage that this “third party observer” or “narrator” has privileged knowledge of your thoughts?

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

It’s like Jesus went into the desert and fasted 40 days from the “necessities of life.” :winter:

After that experience, even “bare necessities” would seem like abundance.

For the OP: as another mentioned, if you have more details we might help kick around some strategic ideas better. Like is this lack of control involving other human beings preventing something, a relationship that isn’t working, a plan that isn’t working out? Some kind of gap between what is expected or what seems right, and what is?

And of course you don’t have to elaborate more if you don’t want to; this is invitation only.

MS

 

[MaryT777]

Maybe just tell God how you feel and why. Under what conditions do you feel what way and why? What is it about the conditions that gets you the most? What would have to change?

If you don’t see results, that doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t doing any good. It do think it can be helpful to God to try to root out what’s really pushing this.

For example, one SD talks about the “false self” where we suffer most of our anxiety, and the “energy centers” that feed it are usually based on excessive needs or desires for things we all need some of but craving for it can lead to all sorts of anxiety. Those are security/comfort, affection/esteem, and power/control. If you feel like you are being “shortchanged” in these areas, it’s going to cause pain.

One strategy is to continue to pray privately and expose the problem as much as possible to try to find its root – especially if they can be traced to the three energy centers. Combined with that, is to learn to trust again that things will be ok – first for a second, then a minute, hour, and more – after something or some things obviously happened to cause this lack.

Lord I ask you to bring your healing touch to Issa87, in Jesus’s name. Amen.

Joining in prayer and great well thought out post!~
Mary.

 

[TheLeastofThese]

I am praying for you!

 

[Spritus1]

Try thanking and blessing God for the gift of suffering. Although He does not Will it, God sometimes permits our suffering through illness of the body or mind because He knows that were we in good health we may well misuse or abuse our minds/bodies thus leading us into sin and the death of the soul and ultimately eternal destruction. Even though the body be declining, we can always work on our health of soul. The soul is infinitely more important. God knows us better than we know ourselves and is infinitely wise and merciful. Even if you cannot be as active as you would like, use the time you have been given to pray. Even the bed ridden can do this.

I know this is not easy but lean on God. He is strong in our weakness.

I say this as one with a number of debilitating and disabling conditions.

God bless you.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Suffering + love = the labor pains leading up to a joyful new birth.

To me that’s kind of what the “Dark Night” is about.

Also maybe this sounds odd, but do you get any comedy? Are there any comedians that you like?

In a “serious” sense, I think comedy can help “throw the mind off guard” and help bridge the gap between serious issues, and confronting the truth about the pain they cause.

Or it may engage your mind in something other than the problems at hand, for a bit of relief. It may not immediately expand your locus of control, but it will help you operate within it, with less anxiety.

Jesus asked how we can time to our lives or hair to our heads by worrying? We don’t deny what’s wrong, we just have the confidence that This Too Shall Pass. Some think that one is obliged to worry under certain conditions; that may be a norm of whatever social group they identify with, but nobody can tell me what I must and must not worry about, if I can learn to let those silly notions go right by me. I don’t have to return volley on a ball I don’t even acknowledge was served.

From a strictly scientific standpoint, comedy and laughter have beneficial health effects. So even if God won’t cut you a break, maybe some good standup or sitcom or movie, will.

MS

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

I hope the last post doesn’t come across as insensitive.

There are times I’ve been down to where laughing was completely out of the question. So I just offer it as something that helped me at the times I was able to get into it.

Prov 25:20

Like the removal of clothes on a cold day, or vinegar on soda, is the one who sings to a troubled heart.

MS

 

[fred_conty]

You didn’t explain exactly what you’re going through or what your situation is, so it’s not possible to really offer any specific suggestions. Would you be willing and able to tell us a little more about your anger? Also, may I ask what sort of illness you’re suffering from? Are you perhaps handicapped in some way?

To know this would be a great help.