Received communion from a girl wearing ripped tights

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Theresa1 said:
I understand, I can’t help think of Padre Pio though, he didn’t have that concern of them never coming back. Maybe he thought he was doing what was in their souls best interest? And trust long the Holy Spirit will lead them back. I think it should be ok to mention dress code without fear of the fragility if others ego (?) versus what’s best for their soul. I would accept humiliations if it were good for my soul, I have in fact.What do you think?
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I can’t speak for Padre Pio. He had the gift of being able to read hearts, and I don’t. I have to think that Italians in the 1960s were more conscious of proper dress than contemporary Americans are, thus they could have been more culpable. Even to this day, Italians put more effort into personal appearance — la bella figura — than the average American. They are really very striking, handsome people to behold. I once saw a picture of Italians at a street demonstration in the 1950s or thereabouts — everyone was nattily dressed, the men in suits and ties, they looked sharp. By contrast, I have seen pictures of people on pilgrimage at Chartres — Chartres! — who looked like they were at a NASCAR event.

Not everyone realizes that humiliations can be spiritually beneficial, and American culture, for good or for ill, places a huge premium on “feeling good about yourself”. You have to meet people where they are, not where they should be.
 
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that they don’t realize it should have no effect on offering one for their benefit such as was was offered to me in my earlier example of the train incident. It helped me become more aware of my behavior, I don’t begrudge that woman st all and I remember her decades later. She offered me that humiliation that benefitted my soul perhaps.

I know how that sounds this day and age…some folks will be all up in arms about how dare I try to offer a humiliation (that sounds terrible) to a poor teenager. I’m sure I’m wording it poorly but I mean sometimes, isn’t it scriptural, we can offer correction in gentleness. And, if that leads to a little humiliation for the sake of good, would that not be acceptable to God.

also, it’s not just Padre Pio, several Churches throughout the world have guidelines.
 
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Theresa1 said:
It’s about that in context and connection of being a Eucharistic minister.
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It is better to call laypeople who help Father in this capacity Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion. To be a Eucharistic minister means something different; only clergy are properly referred to in that way.
acanonlawyer said:
Back in the day, if I was in the barn milking or cleaning up the animal byproducts, the first thing I would do after getting into the house would be to change my clothes (was never an overalls guy)…not to mention going to church.
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The point is that provided work clothing is clean and modest enough for a Catholic to wear in the world generally, it is acceptable for daily Mass. It is presumed that people will come to daily Mass wearing their clothing for the day, provided it is at least clean.
Londoner said:
Sorry, but I am a bit confused about what they are actually wearing. @Theresa1, do you mean that they are wearing nothing but hosiery (and presumably underwear) on their bottom half? That would sound very odd and I would assume that what you are talking about are leggings rather than tights.
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There is not a sharp dividing line between sweat pants, leggings, tights and hosiery. It is a continuum.
Sarcelle said:
I know ripped jeans are a fashion but I don’t know about ripped tights.
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Oh, yes. They are. I don’t know if they’re sold that way or if that is done by the consumer after purchase, but they are sometimes worn that way on purpose. Inexplicable, yet true.
TheLittleLady said:
If I were on my way to Mass to serve, and I ripped my tights, my choice would be do I go home and change? This would make me late to Mass and unable to serve as I’d promised. I could simply go and serve even though my clothes were not perfect.
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It’s pretty rare that a priest could not proceed one extraordinary minister short because there was a clothing malfunction. Having said that, he could have been asked about it and said the clothing was not so seriously damaged as that and it was OK.

OP, I think it is OK to tell Father that you find this really distracting. You don’t have to tell him that you expect him to do anything particular with the information, but just say, “If the assumption is that no one cares, that would be an incorrect assumption. I know it may be the fashion, but I would also not assume I must be the only one who finds that fashion to look too much like slovenliness. If you know any college students who honestly cannot afford to keep their clothing in good repair, send them to me. I know how to sew.”
 
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I can see them maybe giving a copy of the dress code in a Welcome Package or something for first timers, but I would be uncomfortable with anything beyond that.
 
blackforest said:
I don’t know how many people you need to point this out to you before you start believing it, but you are unfairly passing judgment on someone else rather than placing your focus on the Mass, where it should be.
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Except she hasn’t really said anything bad. It’s really just a trifling matter. Otherwise everyone who is saying she is being judgmental by their condemnation is guilty of the same thing as well as being a hypocrite.
 
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They are priests, they have authority over their parishioners.
 
what about nuns, can they , as Titus tells the lay women, teach young women to be discreet, chaste…
Scripture says he told us older women to URGE the younger women to be self controlled and pure. Lay women
 
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Again, a nun would be able to instruct those under her authority.
 
Too tall, hmm? I’ve often wondered why there couldn’t be a Communion station where there could be a single kneeler for people who wanted to receive kneeling. Then no one would be too tall!
 
DeniseNY said:
I can see them maybe giving a copy of the dress code in a Welcome Package or something for first timers, but I would be uncomfortable with anything beyond that.
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A welcome package — I like that! Hadn’t thought of that.
Theresa1 said:
I know how that sounds this day and age…some folks will be all up in arms about how dare I try to offer a humiliation (that sounds terrible) to a poor teenager. I’m sure I’m wording it poorly but I mean sometimes, isn’t it scriptural, we can offer correction in gentleness. And, if that leads to a little humiliation for the sake of good, would that not be acceptable to God.
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If you are able to use humiliation as a tool of fraternal correction, more power to you. I don’t have that charism. It is all I can do to persuade someone to see my point of view. On those rare occasions when I meet someone who “thinks like me” — who seeks the good, the true, and the beautiful, realizes that God is all in all and that we need not even exist, seeks truth regardless of where it might lead — I come close to dying of sheer joy. (Minor literary hyperbole there, but you get my drift.)
 
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Do not be mistaken: the “mind your own business, I can wear as little clothing as I want” attitude comes not from Catholic teaching, but prideful American culture in recent years. Our culture may try to redefine what “good” and “evil” are, but Christ remains the same forever.

Theresa, if you see this girl dressed the same way again and again, I would talk to your priest about it. Many of the women on this forum may not understand, however female immodesty is a huge stumblingblock for male Catholics and you’d be doing a favor for the men in your parish by putting a stop to it. There is not one good reason for anyone to make the conscious decision of dressing profanely before our Lord, so it is good of you to take a stand against this uncharitable practice. God bless!
 
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A sister ( nuns are cloistered and usually don’t interact with the outside world) could offer fraternal correction, as could anyone really.

Now will that correction be taken is a whole different story.

Fraternal correction should only be offered by someone who is in authority of another. Pew sitter #1 should never attempt to correct pew sitter #2.
Pew sitter # 1 should go to the Pastor with their issue and then follow his advice.
 
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I don’t know if it will humiliate as we are speaking of the term, my point was was sometimes fraternal correction does assist in better behavior as it did with me with humiliation being a side effect so to speak. Your post sounds like you’re trying to make me sound like someone who thinks she has some power to change people, you are calling me prideful whether it was your intent or not.
 
what about fraternally correcting my teens friends if they’re doing something that may harm them either spiritually, emotionally or mentally.
 
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