Received communion from a girl wearing ripped tights

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That is different. They are teens, who are friends of you child’s. If they arw,doing somethimg harmful to tjemselves,or others, you stop them.

That is not the same as telling a person you do not know, amd have no authority over that she/he is dressed inappropriately for Mass.
 
Judge not, lest ye be judged. I do control where my eyes wander, but the question remains: Why create those temptations for men in the first place? If nothing else, at least female modesty (or lack thereof) is a good indicator for men of whether a woman respects her body and those around her.
 
CathoRick said:
Many of the women on this forum may not understand, however female immodesty is a huge stumblingblock for male Catholics and you’d be doing a favor for the men in your parish by putting a stop to it. There is not one good reason for anyone to make the conscious decision of dressing profanely before our Lord, so it is good of you to take a stand against this uncharitable practice.
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I’d rather promote custody of eyes, which is much more useful and practical for men and women alike. This type of reasoning and blaming doesn’t appeal to many women, so I’d recommend a different motive instead.
 
Sorry but this pewsitter was corrected as a youth and told to be quiet by a stranger who was trying to pray before Mass. I shut up and never did it again. Don’t blame her either.
 
Years ago, we had a pastor who put up a dress code sign on the parish doors.

We live in a resort town, so, we get a huge number of visitors.

One Sunday, I was running a bit late to the last Mass on Sunday evening. As I walked up there was a group of young people, late teens/early 20’s, sunburned faces told me they had been out on the lake/at amusement parks all day. Out of state tags, they were visitors.

They were wearing cargo shorts and polo shirts. They looked at the sign, their faces fell.

Then I walked up and they asked “are we not allowed in for Mass”. I told them they were welcome, they were sitting with me and if anyone said anything they could deal with me first!

These young people made it a point to go to Mass on their holiday.
 
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No, how a woman dresses is not a good indicator whether she “respects” her body.

I dress to be comfortable most of the time.
If I want to be fashionable, I go for something trendy. What I chose to wear does not change the fact that I am owed the dignity of being treated as a child of God, not an object to be oogled.
 
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That was nice of you to help them out! But just think – ever since then, maybe those people were cognizant of the concept of being “properly dressed to go to church”.
I’ve been on vacation numerous times, with kids / teenagers even, and guess what, we plan ahead a little and bring church clothes. Even if we’re camping. It’s not that hard.
 
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Jen95 said:
Modesty? Custody of the eyes?

Why not both?
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I agree (I am a man). If a woman is walking down the street in a thong bikini and I stare at her in lust, I am guilty, even if it is hard to resist. But this does not absolve her of her guilt either for dressing immodestly.
 
Jen95 said:
Why not both?
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Exactly. Just because many are unwilling to be receptive on the issue of modesty does not mean it is a non-issue. We should support our brothers and sisters in the faith by promoting both.
 
Weserthy said:
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Jen95:
Modesty? Custody of the eyes?

Why not both?
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I agree (I am a man). If a woman is walking down the street in a thong bikini and I stare at her in lust, I am guilty, even if it is hard to resist. But this does not absolve her of her guilt either for dressing immodestly.
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I agree! It’s kind of the meme joke “why not both”?
Modesty makes eye custody much easier, I’m sure!
 
Theresa1 said:
I don’t know if it will humiliate as we are speaking of the term, my point was was sometimes fraternal correction does assist in better behavior as it did with me with humiliation being a side effect so to speak. Your post sounds like you’re trying to make me sound like someone who thinks she has some power to change people, you are calling me prideful whether it was your intent or not.
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You are misreading what I said, and I regret any such impression.

There are, indeed, people who have the power to change other people’s behavior, to make them rethink and change their previously held ideas, and to use various powers of persuasion — including possibly humiliation — to get them to do things their way. Lyndon B Johnson had it down to a science, and love him or hate him, the man got things done. Saul Alinsky (Rules for Radicals) pointed out just how powerful ridicule can be as a tool. Alinsky isolated a lot of very, very effective tactics that can be used for good or for evil; even William F Buckley Jr acknowledged that he was a genius. To use a more homely example, when I worked in retail management, I was always a mediocre salesman at best. People right beside of me, who put their pants on one leg at a time just the same as I did, racked up prodigious sales figures. They had some kind of “secret sauce” that I didn’t have. We all have different gifts.

I once heard “tact” described as telling someone to go to hell and have them looking forward to the trip.
 
CathoRick said:
Theresa, if you see this girl dressed the same way again and again, I would talk to your priest about it.
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I believe that she mentioned something last year, and they didn’t do anything about it. At this point, I’d trust the priest’s discretion.
CathoRick said:
Many of the women on this forum may not understand, however female immodesty is a huge stumblingblock for male Catholics and you’d be doing a favor for the men in your parish by putting a stop to it.
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I’ve seen women in hijabs with cosmetics enhancing their beautiful facial features. Ditto Catholic women in veils.

One analogy I like to use: If I’m trying to lose weight, do I have a right to speak out against public vending machines or people eating fast food in front of me? We’re ultimately responsible for controlling ourselves.
CilladeRoma said:
No, how a woman dresses is not a good indicator whether she “respects” her body.
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On this note, I do get really tired of getting lectured about what to wear by people who’ve never seen me or know my body type. Skirts that would normally “flow” on some women will show off my hips. Shirts that fit A-B cup women just fine will show too much of my chest. Fashion manufacturers are oblivious to these simple facts and make life difficult for women of different body types. I scarcely have time or money to shop and struggle to find clothes that fit “just right.” But I’m honestly not scouring the racks for the sexiest possible clothes to wear to Mass . . .
 
A few things…

These type of threads pop up once every other week, and people get frustrated. I don’t like to exclude anybody from mass or from being able to participate in mass. I think that is fundamental concern expressed by some posters is that you don’t want to exclude people, even when the wear clothing (i.e. ripped tights) that would be far more appropriate for an Marilyn Manson or Nine Inch Nails concert.

What bothers me personally about the ripped tights is not so much I can’t keep my eyes to myself or that they somehow tempt me. Honestly, I don’t care…not about ripped pants. What bothers me is that this fashion statement is more appropriate for a Marilyn Manson or Nine Inch Nails concert. Have you guys seen how these groups disparage our faith. It is not appropriate for Eucharistic minister to identify with these groups in their dress.

I love that laity distribute communion, but they need to set the right atmosphere. I’m glad woman in ripped tights is there and is receiving communion. Does she really need to distribute communion? The thing is this is fixable too. A simple discussion on dress code from a priest for Eucharistic Ministers should fix the problem. It doesn’t even need to be addressed to this specific person.
 
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CilladeRoma said:
No, how a woman dresses is not a good indicator whether she “respects” her body.
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It is for men. If a woman dresses with her body on display in a place where one is reasonably expected to cover up, men see it as her advertising herself, which only serves to repel Godly men.
CilladeRoma said:
What I chose to wear does not change the fact that I am owed the dignity of being treated as a child of God
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CilladeRoma said:
not an object to be oogled.
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Again, I’m not sure many women understand how male lust works. Unlike women, our lust is very much based in visuals. I wish it weren’t that way, but that is how we are designed.
 
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oh please, women revealing lot of their skin in shorts that show their butt are revealing alot of themselves outside of the external. And you’re saying they’re showing their butts but they don’t want to be ogled. Is this what we’ve come to? This blindness? I used to be them. And yes we still treat them with dignity, that is a separate matter.
 
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