Received letter from priest--not sure what to do

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whatevergirl

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I’m actually a little angry over this letter.

Some history before giving you what the letter is about.

Most on here know that my family and I moved here from PA (to FL) last year. We visited a few parishes, and joined one close to our home. We really rushed into that decision, because while I believe all priests are good people who are called to do God’s work, we did not like how the head priest of this parish we joined, continuously harped on money…week after week. And not about giving it to the poor or something–but always talking about giving money to build a playground. It went on and on…right after Communion, he would start that–which I thought was wrong, since mass wasn’t even over yet. But, whatever. We are faithful tithers, I should mention…which we’ll come back to in a minute.

So, we decide to start exploring other parishes in the area. We ended up finding one, a little further away from where we live. We are in the process of joining this one soon–this weekend actually, since at the end of every month, they have registration available. So, I called the first parish, and told them we were no longer going to be ‘members’ and they didn’t ask why, which was fine…so we just stopped going.

I still receive envelopes from the first parish. Ok. I sent an email again, saying we are no longer members…etc. I still get envelopes. So, I just stopped contacting them, and yesterday, we receive this letter – looks generic-- written by the head priest…to all parishioners, asking for an increase in tithes. Ok, it would not have bothered me, had I not read the line…“would you consider raising your normal $10 donation to $13 or maybe $15?” This would be fine, if I tithed $10. I’m not tithing ANYTHING to that parish now–we are not members any longer. Further, when we were members, we gave substantial tithes, weekly. So, he a)thinks we are still members and b)had no idea what we were tithing

This really has been bugging me. I do not want to get into it with a priest. He is doing what he feels he should to raise money for his parish. But, I am a bit upset that he would send a generic letter to everyone–even non members–with random tithe amounts that don’t fit the person the letter is addressed to.

So…should I do nothing? Should I send him an email? He is a very sarcastic man, which is one of the reasons we didn’t like the parish, also. He would be very disparaging in many of his sermons…etc. Although, I did go to him for confession, and he was AMAZING. So, who knows.

What would YOU do? Thanks for listening. I feel better already.🙂
 
I personally would just let it go. My guess is the letter is just a form letter and they possibly don’t know how to adequately update their mailing list.
I wouldn’t take it personally.
 
Ignore the letter. They probably just haven’t updated their parish list.

As for not knowing what you tithe, I don’t know about that parish but no pastor I’ve dealt with knew the week to week donations of specific parishioners. They might look at the receipt at the end of the year but most likely the only people who have a really good idea of what people give are the ones who open the envelopes – not the priest in most parishes I’m familiar with.
 
I agree–I’d let it go. I don’t think it was aimed at you personally and since you’ve moved on to a different parish, I’d just ignore it. 👍
 
Let it go.

There can be no positive exchange you could have with him, just you venting.
 
Let it go and don’t sweat the small stuff - and this is small.

In the grand scheme of your day, this is just a tiny blip and the evil one is trying to get your dander up about a priest.

Don’t forget that the Priests have staff that may not be the best at what they do, forgot to take you off the parishioner list, been sick.
Who knows.
 
Weird, I went through a similar thing when I moved here to my current town.

The request for money was also very strong because they were building a new church at the first parish. They REALLY need one too so I think it’s valid they ask for more money. However, I like you get a little tense when it seems that’s ALL they talk about. If you are working it into every single homily…well yeah you know…

So what would I do if I were you? I would actually drive over to the first church and hand back their envelopes, the letter, inform them you are no longer registered and have changed parishes and have them take you OFF the mailing list. While you are standing there. With a smile on your face of course!

Maybe the other parishoners don’t mind Father sending out a generic letter like that? 🤷 Either way you shouldn’t bother it – it’s no longer your issue. Just pray for that parish and the priest. :hug3:
 
Phemie said:
As for not knowing what you tithe, I don’t know about that parish but no pastor I’ve dealt with knew the week to week donations of specific parishioners.
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Now that you mention this, I know in our Church, I have had a couple people tell me that our priests do NOT look at who donates what, and that they are discouraged to do so because our Bishop does not want them to favor one family over another due to how much they tithe. I am not sure if this is a common practice in most Catholic Churches or if it is just a rule that our Bishop set up 🤷

Personally, I can see it as a good rule though.
 
Yeah, it’s just a mailing list issue… not the priest directly taking aim at you.
 
I like KC’s reply best.😛 😃

I will let it go. Oddly enough, I felt better having posted my feelings about this. You are all probably right–it’s a generic letter…but they should not insert that $ amount into it. My husband and I looked at it and said…‘hey, let’s go back to that parish, and just tithe less as the letter says.’ 😉 😛 Being silly of course.

Now back in PA (ahhh the parish we belonged to was just so wonderful, not that all churches are not wonderful, but we were very close to the staff there) the priests sent us personal letters every year, thanking us for our contribution. His signature was his own, not a stamp…and we appreciated that. Not that he needs to thank us, we don’t tithe to be thanked, certainly. But, my point is, he wasn’t sending out random letters with random tithe amounts on it…it’s insulting to faithful tithers, in my opinion–as if my tithe doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t look at it this way.

I agree with you jrabs, I should be mindful not to give the devil any opening with things like this. It’s small stuff, agreed.

Thanks people–you are the best.:grouphug:
 
whatevergirl said:
What would YOU do?
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I would call the parish office again and just remind them to remove my name and address from their mailing list.
I would simply broach it in a way that made it sound as if I am concerned about the cost of printing and mailing the envelopes to me. I would say something like, “I realize just how hectic an office can get, so I just wanted to remind you that I am now a member of another parish and I don’t want St. X’s parish to have spend money unnecessarily on sending me envelopes and such.” Nothing confrontational, just remind them that you are no longer a member and should not be receiving mailings.
 
whatevergirl said:
You are all probably right–it’s a generic letter…but they should not insert that $ amount into it. My husband and I looked at it and said…‘hey, let’s go back to that parish, and just tithe less as the letter says.’ 😉 😛 Being silly of course.
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**
To me that quoted line reads more as an example rather than a demand. To illustrate that increasing only a couple of dollars will really help accomplish their goals… sure it could have been stated better, but I agree with everyone else that you shouldn’t give it another thought. Certainly nothing worth getting angry over:)**
 
KCtheMommy said:
it seems that’s ALL they talk about. If you are working it into every single homily…well yeah you know…
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I hear you, I did ask my husband once if we could offer the priest some money to do a homily about abortion and one about adoption 🤷 It was in jest…well kind of
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**
To me that quoted line reads more as an example rather than a demand. To illustrate that increasing only a couple of dollars will really help accomplish their goals… sure it could have been stated better, but I agree with everyone else that you shouldn’t give it another thought. Certainly nothing worth getting angry over:)**
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I hadn’t thought of it as an example. Oh my gosh, I am embarassed now. 😊 😊

TGIF!😃
 
whatevergirl said:
I like KC’s reply best.😛 😃

I will let it go. Oddly enough, I felt better having posted my feelings about this. .

Thanks people–you are the best.:grouphug:
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Sometimes just chattin it over with folks helps, doesn’t it.
👍
 
Whatevergirl, if you get any more mail from your former parish, simply cross out your address, black out any barcodes and write across the letter “REFUSED: RETURN TO SENDER” and drop it back in the mail. The post office will return the letter to the church, and hopefully they will get the message and take your name off their mailing list.

Hope this helps.

Oh, by the way, any “first class” junk mail you receive can be handled this way. I think sometimes the sender has to pay the return postage as well 😉 👍
 
Another way that $10 figure might have been arrived at is doing an average of your weekly contributions. So they’ve added up your regular contributions from when you were a member, and your zero weekly contributions since you left and divided by the total number of weeks. Could this possibly equal $10? And then, the suggested new figure is probably a percentage rather than a dollar amount. Or, as the other poster said, it may have been an example.

Either way, I’m glad you’ve decided not to pursue it. No good can come of an exchange like this. Enjoy your new parish!

Betsy
 
When I was a church secretary the pastor never every got involved with what anyone gave. Did not want to know. The only ones who would have known were myself, the business admin (if there was a bounced check:( or a question) and the elders who did the first count during the service.

I am pretty sure most church leaders know how dangerous it would be for them to look at what people give-they would be hard pressed to minister impartially…
 
baltobetsy said:
Another way that $10 figure might have been arrived at is doing an average of your weekly contributions. So they’ve added up your regular contributions from when you were a member, and your zero weekly contributions since you left and divided by the total number of weeks. Could this possibly equal $10? And then, the suggested new figure is probably a percentage rather than a dollar amount. Or, as the other poster said, it may have been an example.

Either way, I’m glad you’ve decided not to pursue it. No good can come of an exchange like this. Enjoy your new parish!

Betsy
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Hey Betsy–that is a possibility…we haven’t been going for nearly a year now so if they totaled everything and divided it by a year…it would be around $10. But, it could also be a general letter as another poster said.

I am not going to sweat it, but definitely will take the poster who suggested just putting send back to sender on the package, maybe that will do it. More than anything–they are wasting postage, and envelope printing on me, when I’ve told them twice that we’re no longer members.

This is a lesson to us that before joining a parish, give it several months of regular attendance to make sure you really are commited to that parish. We jumped the gun on joining this one too early. Thanks for the advice everyone!🙂
 
Everyone’s got different personalities, including priests, we need a few sarcastic priests and pushy ones, let it go, nothing really to get upset over considering it’s a generic letter sent to everyone, not targeting anyone specifically.
 
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