Receiving Communion

[miclassie]

Good Morning to All -
I’m here to get some questions answered… I am a practicing catholic. I found out that my husband had an affair for several years. I have gone through all the emotions of finding out about everything. Deep down I know I can’t trust him, and that my love for him has gone. I know I need to move on with my life. He has lied to me for several years, and even lied to me about his faith and wanting children. We were blessed to have one child. I am the one bringing up our child catholic. My question is - if and when I go through the divorce will I be able to receive communion? or do I have to wait until the annulment goes through? I am so sad that my life has turned out this way, but my faith and religion has always been a big part of me. I don’t want to lose my religion as well because of the HUGE mistakes my husband has made. For those of you on this site that are divorced do you keep your married name because of your child(ren) to make it easier for them, or do you change you’re name back to your maiden name?

I want to move to a better life full of love, trust and respect. I know that happiness is around the corner for me, and I know that God will always be with me.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Hi…a divorced person can receive communion provided that they are in a state of grace (no unconfessed mortal sins). Divorced and *remarried *Catholics should abstain from receiving holy communion.

As per you changing your name back, that is really up to you and what you feel comfortable with, taking into consideration your child.

 

[YADA]

MAry Gail has a good answer for you …

A divorce does not keep you from receiving the Eucharist …

You are not free to marry though until and unless the church has reviewed you previous marraige and determined whether or not a sacramental marriage in fact occurred …

If your first marriage [the one that ends in divorce] is sacramental you will be able to receive the Eucharist but not alowed to enter into a new marriage …

If your first marriage is determined to have been unSacramental by an unquiry through the Church Tribunal - commonly referred to as an annulment - then you could marry again … and if you married in the church - you could recieve the Eucharist as you would be validly married …

Please note that your child is considered to be legitimate either way …

If the Church grants the annullment - makes a finding that the initial marriage was null from its conception … it still recognizes that a civil marriage occurred … the children are legitimate … IMHO all children are legitimate … but this is an issue that exspouses sometimes raise when the annullment process begins …

Can’t say if you have real grounds for an invalid marriage … if your spouse lied about an openness to have children and decieved you and you have objective evidence of same … that could work in your favor … but the investigation questions for you, our spouse and each of your witnesses will be extensive and should uncover that …

Also be aware that you cannot begin an application for a church investigation and determination on your marriage until you have [in fact] obtained a civil divorce…

I will keep you and your family in my prayers … Sadly I know from personal experience how destructive the breakup of a family can be … even if divorce is truly the best result

 

[iluvmybabies]

Good Morning to All -
I’m here to get some questions answered… I am a practicing catholic. I found out that my husband had an affair for several years. I have gone through all the emotions of finding out about everything. Deep down I know I can’t trust him, and that my love for him has gone. I know I need to move on with my life. He has lied to me for several years, and even lied to me about his faith and wanting children. We were blessed to have one child. I am the one bringing up our child catholic. My question is - if and when I go through the divorce will I be able to receive communion? or do I have to wait until the annulment goes through? I am so sad that my life has turned out this way, but my faith and religion has always been a big part of me. I don’t want to lose my religion as well because of the HUGE mistakes my husband has made. For those of you on this site that are divorced do you keep your married name because of your child(ren) to make it easier for them, or do you change you’re name back to your maiden name?

I want to move to a better life full of love, trust and respect. I know that happiness is around the corner for me, and I know that God will always be with me.

well I was never married through the church but needed an annulment, I can tell you that it’s no fun picnic and that is a looooong process…in either case…I have kept my married name for my children…It makes them feel like they belong…but as soon as they are a bit older I am not going to keep it or if I ever get remarried through the church this time then I am going to change it to my new husband’s…

My parents have also pushed me to keep my ex’s last name for my children’s sake, but my sister who believes a woman can make her choice and keep her maiden name if wanted to, she kept hers for mannnnnyyyy years after married, has advised of “what’s in a name!!” So it’s really up to you to explain to your kids you just want your name different and that’s it, it has nothing to do with them but that you really need it for, I don’t know “professional” reasons!!!

Yes I thought the same thing about the whole love thing but sometimes the grass isn’t greener on the other side!! But I do hope things work out well for you and hope that GOD’s blessing will be upon you against all odds and that this “around the corner” love is the best for you and that you have many blessings! Take care and GOD bless!

 

[GailMac]

Wow! And they get to practice the virtue of Chastity! and God gets well pleased with their souls and finds His peace in their lives! Isn’t that awesome!

Peace,

Gail

 

[iluvmybabies]

Hi…a divorced person can receive communion provided that they are in a state of grace (no unconfessed mortal sins). Divorced and *remarried *Catholics should abstain from receiving holy communion.

As per you changing your name back, that is really up to you and what you feel comfortable with, taking into consideration your child.

I am sorry did you say remarried Catholics can’t take Holy communion?

 

[miclassie]

Thank you all for your blessings and advice! I do have all the evidence I need that I am hoping when the time comes when I do need an annulment I can use it. Isn’t a person that cheats on their spouse grounds for an annulment? The lovely girl told me the whole truth, while my husband just sat there finally telling me the truth after I pulled it all out of him. I don’t think he would have told me, and probably if I didn’t find out it would still be going on behind my back.

You all have answered the question of my concern in regards to receiving communion. It does help me knowing that once the divorce is over I can receive communion.I’ve been on my own with our child going to church so it won’t be any different if and when i get the ball rolling towards a divorce.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

I am sorry did you say remarried Catholics can’t take Holy communion?

Well, if a Catholic was in a valid marriage, and remarries…they should abstain from communion.

If a Catholic was in an invalid marriage…and receives a decree of nullity…and marries, they can receive communion. The reason is that the first marriage wasn’t valid, and the second marriage is the valid and only marriage. The person isn’t actually re-married, but married.

Hope that helps.

 

[YADA]

Isn’t a person that cheats on their spouse grounds for an annulment?

Cheating on ones spouse does not provide grounds for an annullment …

Promising to be open to life [having children] when not intending to and secretely having oneself made sterile would be gorunds …

There are thousands of reasons a marriage can be found invalid …

And equally thousands of sins a person could commit that would not make a marriage invalid …

It depends upon both parties and the condiditons that existed at the time the marriage vows were taken …

That is why the questions ar so in depth and intense … they provide the clues …

So I can give you examples . but every marriage is unique …

Another example of a marriage that could [emphasis on could] is the “Shot Gun Wedding” … if two people are being coerced into marriage because of circumstances [for example the woman is pregnant and the parents are compelling the marriage] … the arguent can be made that they marriage was not under aken freely … two people have to consent … coercion os not consent …

My recommendation is stake wach step as it comes … deal with the divorce, the request the ivestigation with no pre-concieved idea of the outcoe … answer the questions honestly, completely and forthrigtly … don’t hold back, don’t embellish …

And most importantly, stay focused on Christ … and you child … do not date ro act as a singe person until and if you receive the decree on your marriage …

I am praying for you … and may God’s healing come to you …

 

[IrishAm]

My prayers are with you, dear.

Yes, you can certainly receive communion after a divorce and prior to any determination by the Tribunal (annulment) as long as you are living a chaste, single life.

If you ever wish to remarry – or even to have that as an option – you will need to apply for a decision on the validity of your marriage. Your parish priests can help you with this.

And, as for your name, do what feels right to you. Children are much more flexible about such things than you would think. I kept my ex-spouse’s name because, frankly, I had used it longer than I had used my maiden name and was known by it professionally. Besides, I brought more honor to the name than he ever did.

I am so sorry for your pain. Time does not heal ALL wounds, but it does make them easier to bear . . .

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Isn’t a person that cheats on their spouse grounds for an annulment?

**Nothing that happens within a marriage is grounds for an “annulment”. There really is a huge misconception that the Church decides if what happens during a marriage can be a reason to “erase” the marriage.

What really happens is that the Church investigates your marriage to see if your marriage was valid at the moment you said your vows only. If it was valid at that point, nothing done within the marriage can make it invalid.

The marriage vows are " till death do you part"… literally.

But things that happen within a marriage can big big indicators of how one or both parties views marriage in general and can lead to a “declaration of nullity” which basically concludes that you were never validly married in the first place.

Sorry, i know that sounds confusing**

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

I am sorry did you say remarried Catholics can’t take Holy communion?

If a Catholic marries someone and then divorces them, they cannot remarry unless they find out their first marriage was never existent (which is what an annulment means, that there is proof the marriage at question was never valid). If there is no proof that the first marriage was never valid (ie no annulment) the person is considered to still be married (even if they are divorced in civil courts) thus cannot enter in a relationship with a new person, and if they do it is considered adultery thus they cannot receive Communion. If they do have an annulment, their first marriage was never valid, then they can marry someone else in the Catholic Church and as long as they are in the state of grace (ie no mortal sins) and are duly prepared (eg 1 hr fast) they can receive.