Receiving the Eucharist As a Couple

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My husband and I recently attended a Marriage Encounter weekend. During the weekend, the facilitators encouraged married couples to always walk up to receive the Eucharist together during Mass (i.e., stand next to each other). I have seen this done once at a parish we visited, but I have never seen it done at our home parish. Is this something we can just choose to do? Should we discuss with our priest first? I think it might throw some of the Eucharistic Ministers for a loop. Once when I was in RCIA, I walked up with my arms crossed and the EM tried to give me the Eucharist on my tounge! :eek: I was already “nervous” about looking different when I went up with my arms crossed, so you can imagine how I felt when I had to tightly close my mouth and shake my head!
 
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Cassaba:
My husband and I recently attended a Marriage Encounter weekend. During the weekend, the facilitators encouraged married couples to always walk up to receive the Eucharist together during Mass (i.e., stand next to each other). I have seen this done once at a parish we visited, but I have never seen it done at our home parish. Is this something we can just choose to do? Should we discuss with our priest first? I think it might throw some of the Eucharistic Ministers for a loop. Once when I was in RCIA, I walked up with my arms crossed and the EM tried to give me the Eucharist on my tounge! :eek: I was already “nervous” about looking different when I went up with my arms crossed, so you can imagine how I felt when I had to tightly close my mouth and shake my head!
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Ignore those facilitators!
 
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Cassaba:
My husband and I recently attended a Marriage Encounter weekend. During the weekend, the facilitators encouraged married couples to always walk up to receive the Eucharist together during Mass (i.e., stand next to each other). I have seen this done once at a parish we visited, but I have never seen it done at our home parish. Is this something we can just choose to do? Should we discuss with our priest first? I think it might throw some of the Eucharistic Ministers for a loop. Once when I was in RCIA, I walked up with my arms crossed and the EM tried to give me the Eucharist on my tounge! :eek: I was already “nervous” about looking different when I went up with my arms crossed, so you can imagine how I felt when I had to tightly close my mouth and shake my head!
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I would not try anything outside the ordinary unless you speak with the pastor first. There are appropriate places for unity either as a community or a couple and there are specific moments of individuality. Holy Communion is an individual moment.
 
Br. Rich SFO:
I would not try anything outside the ordinary unless you speak with the pastor first. There are appropriate places for unity either as a community or a couple and there are specific moments of individuality. Holy Communion is an individual moment.
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Receiving Holy Communion is also a profoundly unifying moment in Christ with other Catholic Christians throughout the world. To give the impression that it can be improved by man-made additions like this is not only absurd, it’s also deeply offensive.

This is far worse than the hand-holding at the Lord’s Prayer – as if the Eucharist wasn’t enough. Those facilitators should be ashamed of themselves for making such a suggestion.
 
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AltarMan:
Receiving Holy Communion is also a profoundly unifying moment in Christ with other Catholic Christians throughout the world. To give the impression that it can be improved by man-made additions like this is not only absurd, it’s also deeply offensive.

This is far worse than the hand-holding at the Lord’s Prayer – as if the Eucharist wasn’t enough. Those facilitators should be ashamed of themselves for making such a suggestion.
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Yikes:eek: We were told the same thing and have been walking up together ever since. (about 10 years now) Why did I not think about this myself? I just didn’t see it. Thanks for the food for thought.
 
This is what I don’t understand: Even if a couple walks up together, the priest or EMHC is still going to have to administer to each person in the couple separately. So, in addition to creating more confusion with more symbolism that doesn’t need to be there, it’s separate reception anyway.
 
Aside from the astue comments above, just looking at it as an outsider, it seems adolescent. Suzy and Kevin holding hands . . . Awwww. (Gag.) But I’m an ex-WASP. PDA isn’t in my vocabulary.
 
I saw a middle-aged couple do this very thing just this past Sunday. It looked jarring, as though it was “about” them.
 
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JKirkLVNV:
I saw a middle-aged couple do this very thing just this past Sunday. It looked jarring, as though it was “about” them.
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mercygateAside from the astue comments above, just looking at it as an outsider, it seems adolescent. Suzy and Kevin holding hands . . . Awwww. (Gag.) But I’m an ex-WASP. PDA isn’t in my vocabulary.
Well, sorry to jar anyone, again, please remember we’re all learning here. Trying to do what is right. But you are right, it is an individual reception, and the added symbolism should not be there.
Having said that, please do not dismiss it with such attitudes as the above “adolescent” “holding hands” we never hold hands, we reverently walked up side by side, hands folded head bowed, and as a matter of fact, as we approached the priest or EMHC we stepped forward individually, made our individual signs of reverence (I genuflect, he bows) then received. It is insulting to paint us as an idiotic teen couple, gayly skipping our way up holding hands.
Again, after having done this for so long, and NEVER having been corrected by ANYONE in a variety of parishes, I see how it is inappropriate. Now here’s a thought for you(not to derail, but I see it as related): I’ve been duking it out with a new priest about standing vs. kneeling, and how terrible it is that I insist upon kneeling during the Eucharistic prayers, he feels the need to insist I stand, but has never said a word of correction to this less than conservative method of receiving. interesting, eh?
 
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ekindermann:
mercygateAside from the astue comments above, just looking at it as an outsider, it seems adolescent. Suzy and Kevin holding hands . . . Awwww. (Gag.) But I’m an ex-WASP. PDA isn’t in my vocabulary.
Well, sorry to jar anyone, again, please remember we’re all learning here. Trying to do what is right. But you are right, it is an individual reception, and the added symbolism should not be there.
Having said that, please do not dismiss it with such attitudes as the above “adolescent” “holding hands” we never hold hands, we reverently walked up side by side, hands folded head bowed, and as a matter of fact, as we approached the priest or EMHC we stepped forward individually, made our individual signs of reverence (I genuflect, he bows) then received. It is insulting to paint us as an idiotic teen couple, gayly skipping our way up holding hands.
Again, after having done this for so long, and NEVER having been corrected by ANYONE in a variety of parishes, I see how it is inappropriate. Now here’s a thought for you(not to derail, but I see it as related): I’ve been duking it out with a new priest about standing vs. kneeling, and how terrible it is that I insist upon kneeling during the Eucharistic prayers, he feels the need to insist I stand, but has never said a word of correction to this less than conservative method of receiving. interesting, eh?
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Didn’t mean to offer offense. But in my parish, the post-Marriage Encounter couples hold hands all the way up the aisle.
 
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mercygate:
Didn’t mean to offer offense. But in my parish, the post-Marriage Encounter couples hold hands all the way up the aisle.
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Thanks, it’s ok, I’m fried from fighting with this priest, just a tad on the defense, here. Thanks again, and I’m sure there it could be yet another “window” of irreverence.
God Bless, Beth
 
I work with RCIA. Our preist has the new person receiving first communion to come foward with their sponsor and receive (at Easter Vigil) together. It is very meaningful because of the long journey together. I have also seen couples come foward together and thought of their journey together. Just my opinion though.
 
I agree with most who think this practice (of couples receiving side-by-side and holding hands) should be halted. For support of this position, consider what the Catechism of the Catholic Church states about Holy Communion:

**1326 **…by the Eucharistic celebration we already unite ourselves with the heavenly liturgy and anticipate eternal life, when God will be all in all.

**1331 **Holy Communion, because by this sacrament we unite ourselves to Christ, who makes us sharers in his Body and Blood to form a single body…

Next consider in the Ask and Apologist forum. I have also heard Jimmy Akin respond to “the existence of marriage in Heaven” similarly to Michelle Arnold. Marriage, as we know it in this life between husband and wife, is non-existent in the next. Through the Sacrament of Matrimony, we are prepared for complete unity with Christ in Heaven.

Through Holy Communion, we are united with all the Angels and Saints, Heaven and Earth, the Body of Christ in its entirety. For a moment during the Liturgy the curtains are pulled back and we experience a brief glimpse of Heaven. Why emphasize an earthly state above something so magnificent?
 
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mercygate:
Didn’t mean to offer offense. But in my parish, the post-Marriage Encounter couples hold hands all the way up the aisle.
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Really??

We have several M.E. couples at our parish, myself and DW included.

And our former pastor was on the US National Executive team for WWME, and we’ve not heard that one before.
 
My wife and I (who are Encountered) have done this, but I would not do so except at the invitation of the celebrant. That said, however:
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AltarMan:
Receiving Holy Communion is also a profoundly unifying moment in Christ with other Catholic Christians throughout the world. To give the impression that it can be improved by man-made additions like this is not only absurd, it’s also deeply offensive.
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Careful with this logic: “Why do we need the Sacrament of Matrimony at all? I’m already unified in Christ with hundreds of women in my parish, to say nothing of the rest of the Catholic world?”

What makes you think they are trying to improve their Eucharistic experience? Maybe they are trying to improve their Matrimonial experience?

tee
(Who could make a snide remark about being thankful for the abolition of altar rails, so that no married couple accidentally receives communion side-by-side, but will pretend that by placing it in a small font he is not making it)
 
I have attended ME before (didn’t like it at all), but we have many members of our parish who receive standing side by side.

I don’t do it, however I don’t see anything wrong with it.

I wouldn’t tell a couple to stop, just like I wouldn’t tell a lady to take a mantilla off. Live and let live.
 
tee was that pretend snide comment necessary although it had the effect of making me chuckle after I figured out what it said due to its small font size
 
I was thinking the same thing about communion rails. I grew up receiving side by side with many, and it didn’t take anything away from the meaning or beauty of the sacrament.

Here is a suggestion, keep your head bowed as you go up to receive, you will not be distracted, or upset by what other people are doing, this will help you remain in a proper frame of mind for receiving the Lord. On the way back, you will be too Christ filled to get upset over such.

If the Lord does not hold himself back from couples receiving side, by side, then there is no point in us getting into a dither over it.

cheddar
 
As intriguing as it may be, the communion rail analogy does not fit in this situation.* The reason is that at the communion rail, everybody receives side-by-side. That is the point I was trying to make in my earlier post. I see no practical or spiritual reason to distinguish a particular couple from anybody else during Holy Communion.
  • I am *not *just saying that because I prefer to receive kneeling at a communion rail.😉
 
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