Receiving the Eucharist Unworthily?

[Mother_of_4]

A little background

I’m a cradle catholic and my husband is also. He left the church sometime when he was around 12 or 13 years old. His mother, also left the Catholic church at that time. My husband started attending church again when we were married 11 years ago. Since then my son’s girlfriend was killed in a car accident and a mass was said at her funeral because one of her parents is Catholic. Since then my Mother-in-law has started attending church, but only every other weekend. On the off-weekends she recently started attending the Lutheran church because of the man she lives with. She has been living with her significant other for 20 years now and recently asked him to marry her. She went to the priest recently because she wants to start receiving the sacraments again. She is going to get married in the Lutheran church and have it blessed by the Catholic priest afterwards. What my concern is, is that I believe she plans on attending church in the same way, every other weekend. She shouldn’t be receiving communion in the Catholic church since she is not attending every Sunday should she? I believe this is what she intends to do. Already we have a strained relationship so I don’t know what to do. If I say something to her about it I’m afraid I’ll push her away from the church. She is very strong-willed. At the same time I don’t know that I should sit idly by and watch her receive communion when she shouldn’t.

 

[Semper_Fi_1]

Mother of 4:

A little background

I’m a cradle catholic and my husband is also. He left the church sometime when he was around 12 or 13 years old. His mother, also left the Catholic church at that time. My husband started attending church again when we were married 11 years ago. Since then my son’s girlfriend was killed in a car accident and a mass was said at her funeral because one of her parents is Catholic. Since then my Mother-in-law has started attending church, but only every other weekend. On the off-weekends she recently started attending the Lutheran church because of the man she lives with. She has been living with her significant other for 20 years now and recently asked him to marry her. She went to the priest recently because she wants to start receiving the sacraments again. She is going to get married in the Lutheran church and have it blessed by the Catholic priest afterwards. What my concern is, is that I believe she plans on attending church in the same way, every other weekend. She shouldn’t be receiving communion in the Catholic church since she is not attending every Sunday should she? I believe this is what she intends to do. Already we have a strained relationship so I don’t know what to do. If I say something to her about it I’m afraid I’ll push her away from the church. She is very strong-willed. At the same time I don’t know that I should sit idly by and watch her receive communion when she shouldn’t.

Your mother will need to get the permission of her diocesan bishop in order to marry in a Lutheran service. Maybe it can be arranged that the marriage can be in the Catholic Church but with the Lutheran pastor present? They will need to meet with the parish priest to work everything out. Also, your mil can attend the Lutheran service but she will need to either make the Saturday anticipated Mass or not receive communion. She should not be receiving communion at the Lutheran service. If she has received communion in the Lutheran service or at the Catholic Mass and either of these things happened, she will need to confess that she received while more than likely in a state of mortal sin (only God can know for sure if someone is in a state of mortal sin though).

Check out scripturecatholic.com.

God bless!

 

[stbruno]

If you know the priest at the church where she attends and she has been meetiing with the priest there…perhaps, you can explain to him ahead of time the circumstances of your mother’s practices. Perhaps she is unaware that the way she is worshipping needs to change for her to be in complete compliance of the the commandments. Perhaps it would come better from the priest rather than from you…and this way it would be objectively said rather than subjectively inferred which may cause hard feelings. With allthings, keep praying! Especially for your mother!

 

[Mother_of_4]

She has already talked to our parish priest about where they will be married. Her husband-to-be was married to a Catholic before which, I then would assume would have been done in the Catholic church to be valid. Anyway, father told them that they could do this one of two ways. The paperwork way or by having them get married in the Lutheran church and then he would bless it afterwards. My mother-in-law already told me before she went to speak to father about getting married that she was prepared to be upset by his answers. She didn’t think she would be able to be married without any problems. She was pleased with the meeting they had and said that father told them that they were pushing too many people away from the church by having to go through such a long process in order to marry. I was a little upset because the way she came across to me when she told me this was as if she was saying “see how wrong the church has been in the past?” I would like to say something to our parish priest but I just feel like I can’t. I’m afraid of him thinking of me as a troublemaker. I wish there was some way to do this anonymously or possibly put a suggested homily topic in the collection basket. I hate to see our faith watered down by the example that is being set. I have told my kids that I think it’s wrong but I’m step-mother to two of them and they think Grandma can do no wrong. I’ve considered getting her a catechism as a wedding gift but I’m not sure how her Lutheran husband would take it. Anyway, thank you for your replys to my post it’s been helpful for me to just write about it as my husband doesn’t see a problem with this either. He doesn’t like to rock any boats but he knows I’m very strong in my faith so I’m sure he’s torn over this too.

 

[Chatter163]

Anyway, father told them that they could do this one of two ways. The paperwork way or by having them get married in the Lutheran church and then he would bless it afterwards…She was pleased with the meeting they had and said that father told them that they were pushing too many people away from the church by having to go through such a long process in order to marry.

Zounds! That is a very sad situation, indeed, and you have my sympathy. But sadly, I think that there is little that you can do except to stay out of it and pray for all concerned, including the wayward priest.

 

[Mother_of_4]

Thanks, I will pray for them all. I also need to add that the responses the priest gave to my mother-in-law are strictly hear-say as they came from her and not him so I don’t really know if that is the what he said or if she reiterated to me incorrectly. He is an awesome priest so I find it hard to believe he would say the things he did. She may have heard things the way she wanted to hear them or interpreted them differently than the way he intended for them to be heard.