Receiving the Eucharist when Cohabitating?

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Mathew thanks for the sanity. Here in DC two guys sharing an apartment may be gay. Its not uncommon at all. Its all over the City. Not building here or there. Three guys living with two girls in a house with five bedrooms, only the presumptous would believe there was sex going among those living there. The only sex going on was when when of my house mates had his or her friend over.
 
It is not a question of “what we ought to assume”

But what people will likely assume or even in fact assume.
We should not be assuming what state of sin, or lack of it, anyone is in. That is a matter for the individual, her/his confessor, and God.
 
I know it is possible for two opposite sex roommates to live together, but I am not comfortable with it. I would not want my daughters when they are older to be in that situation.

If both are single, it is not that uncommon for feelings to develop where they eventually get involved.

Even worse are situations where after a drunken night out they end up “hooking up”.

I am not saying that is the case most of the time, but it happens.
 
We should not be assuming what state of sin, or lack of it, anyone is in. That is a matter for the individual, her/his confessor, and God.
Who said anything about that? Not me.

Again we are not discussing what people ought to assume but what they are likely to assume.
 
Who said anything about that? Not me.
Yes, that’s what you’re saying or least inferring. You’ve even said it in your last post.
Again we are not discussing what people ought to assume but what they are likely to assume.
That’s the point: no one ought to assume another’s state. They do and they shouldn’t.
 
Yes, that’s what you’re saying or least inferring. You’ve even said it in your last post.

That’s the point: no one ought to assume another’s state. They do and they shouldn’t.
  1. I did not …something has been mis-said or something.
  2. As to the second thing…it is our behavior is what we must look to…I am to choose to not share an apartment with a woman who is not my relative. I am to choose to avoid my being the occasion of scandal (see the Bishops statement and both priests above) and to avoid a near occasion of sin. This is about my responsibility.
 
  1. I did not …something has been mis-said or something.
  2. As to the second thing…it is our behavior is what we must look to…I am to choose to not share an apartment with a woman who is not my relative. I am to choose to avoid my being the occasion of scandal (see the Bishops statement and both priests above) and to avoid a near occasion of sin. This is about my responsibility.
It is your opinion and personal choice. I have not been convinced this is what we are taught by the Church, either specifically or generically. It is also the first time I have come across someone espousing this idea. Of course, I do not condone immoral behaviour but do not think we should assume immoral behaviour in someone based on false grounds.
 
The couple may be creating scandal in the eyes of some who know their situation. However, to make a big deal of this is also creating scandal. Let it go.
There is also the issue of FLAUNTING the fact that they are receiving (together, I presume) while they are cohabiting. If they are discreet about it, that would be bad enough. But for them to be “rubbing it in” in front of the OP and everyone else, if that’s what they’re doing, that’s really crossing the line, not to mention very classless, very rude, and a mockery of the sacrament, IMO.
 
People can find other living arrangements that do not involve living with the opposite sex.
If you browse the room-mate ads, only the minority specify a gender preference sought. More often, the gender(s) of those in the house are mentioned in case the potential candidate has a preference. Many people prefer the balance of a co-ed house. Among the age group who most commonly have room-mates it is not assumed that people are having sex simply because they are splitting rent and utilities. If older folks make assumptions, isn’t it their problem?
 
I am annulled and attend mass regularly. I have been struggling with this for some time. My ex attends my Church and he and his live in girlfriend (the reason for the divorce) receive Communion. Should I talk to the pastor of the Church? It bothers me, because my adult children see this and I don’t think it sets a good example. Isn’t this creating public scandal? I don’t know if my priest knows they are living together or not, but we did attend the Church while we were married, and he knows both of us.

ETA My “Adult” children are 18 and 21.
As a personal matter, I don’t think you should be reporting on your former husband’s behavior, and more than you would any other person in the Church. I would go further, and say that in order to respect yourself, and to achieve emotional separation, you should not get involved in his life in that way.

As a community matter, for a Church, others would be better qualified than I to give advice.

Your kids are old enough to understand the issues. There is no reason not to explain your views to them. At their age, they will make their own decisions based on available information. So, give them the information.
 
=dizzy485;8456745]I am annulled and attend mass regularly. I have been struggling with this for some time. My ex attends my Church and he and his live in girlfriend (the reason for the divorce) receive Communion. Should I talk to the pastor of the Church? It bothers me, because my adult children see this and I don’t think it sets a good example. Isn’t this creating public scandal? I don’t know if my priest knows they are living together or not, but we did attend the Church while we were married, and he knows both of us.
ETA My “Adult” children are 18 and 21.
YES!

BUT do not be surprised that it will make no difference. There is a tendency to not be judgmental that is SCARRY! BUT YES; do adivse him IN PRIVATE>

Do NOT discusss this with others as it is very close to gossip; even if true!

God Bless,
Pat
 
If older folks make assumptions, isn’t it their problem?
We are our brothers keeper. We are often responsible for the scandal…for the giving of the appearance that it ok to shack up.

Which is given to the young as well.
 
It is your opinion and personal choice. I have not been convinced this is what we are taught by the Church, either specifically or generically. It is also the first time I have come across someone espousing this idea. Of course, I do not condone immoral behaviour but do not think we should assume immoral behaviour in someone based on false grounds.
It is not about our “assuming immoral behavior” of others… it is about our actions! Our way of life. If I was single…I am not going to be sharing an apartment with a non-relative of the opposite sex. Due to the moral principles involved as a Christian.

As I noted this is about the application of the moral principles. Many aspects of Moral theology are not explicit in a detailed way in Church documents per se.

I have given you examples of Priests as well as Bishops who have pointed out the moral principles involved. (not that one has to be a Priest etc )

The reality of potential near occasion of sin (even if not present at the time of the signing of the lease…in time such can be a very likely problem even for those not seeking to live as a couple…for couples develop from non-couples). And the reality of scandal. People will likely assume we are engaged in a way of living that is contrary to chastity. We have a certain responsibility for the impression and example we give.

For those reasons (and perhaps others) I think that this really is just not a way we as Christians ought to choose to live.

Now can there be occasions where other things will come into play? Sure…like War strikes the country and you and your girlfriend or just a girl may have to flee together…or there is some hurricane etc etc But on the norm I do not think that a man and a woman who are not related ought to take up “sharing an apartment”.
 
=Matthew Holford;8462675]It is your opinion and personal choice. I have not been convinced this is what we are taught by the Church, either specifically or generically. It is also the first time I have come across someone espousing this idea. Of course, I do not condone immoral behaviour but do not think we should assume immoral behaviour in someone based on false grounds.
We MUST avoid the near ocassion of sin. The key word here is “MUST!”

The Catholic Catechism:

1872 Sin is an act contrary to reason. It wounds man’s nature and injures human solidarity

**2236 **The exercise of authority is meant to give outward expression to a just hierarchy of values in order to facilitate the exercise of freedom and responsibility by all. Those in authority should practice distributive justice wisely, taking account of the needs and contribution of each, with a view to harmony and peace. They should take care that the regulations and measures they adopt are not a source of temptation by setting personal interest against that of the community.

2846 This petition goes to the root of the preceding one, for our sins result from our consenting to temptation; we therefore ask our Father not to “lead” us into temptation. It is difficult to translate the Greek verb used by a single English word: the Greek means both “do not allow us to enter into temptation” and “do not let us yield to temptation.” “God cannot be tempted by evil and he himself tempts no one”; on the contrary, he wants to set us free from evil. We ask him not to allow us to take the way that leads to sin. We are engaged in the battle “between flesh and spirit”; this petition implores the Spirit of discernment and strength".

2863 When we say “lead us not into temptation” we are asking God not to allow us to take the path that leads to sin. This petition implores the Spirit of discernment and strength; it requests the grace of vigilance and final perseverance.

1896 Where sin has perverted the social climate, it is necessary to call for the conversion of hearts and appeal to the grace of God. Charity urges just reforms. There is no solution to the social question apart from the Gospel (cf. CA 3, 5).

**2847 **The Holy Spirit makes us discern between trials, which are necessary for the growth of the inner man, and temptation, which leads to sin and death. We must also discern between being tempted and consenting to temptation. Finally, discernment unmasks the lie of temptation, whose object appears to be good, a “delight to the eyes” and desirable, when in reality its fruit is death.

**1700 **The dignity of the human person is rooted in his creation in the image and likeness of God (article 1); it is fulfilled in his vocation to divine beatitude (article 2). It is essential to a human being freely to direct himself to this fulfillment (article 3). By his deliberate actions (article 4), the human person does, or does not, conform to the good promised by God and attested by moral conscience (article 5). Human beings make their own contribution to their interior growth; they make their whole sentient and spiritual lives into means of this growth (article 6). With the help of grace they grow in virtue (article 7), avoid sin, and if they sin they entrust themselves as did the prodigal son1 to the mercy of our Father in heaven (article 8). In this way they attain to the perfection of charity.

**386 **Sin is present in human history; any attempt to ignore it or to give this dark reality other names would be futile. To try to understand what sin is, one must first recognize the profound relation of man to God, for only in this relationship is the evil of sin unmasked in its true identity as humanity’s rejection of God and opposition to him, even as it continues to weigh heavy on human life and history

1849 Sin is an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods. It wounds the nature of man and injures human solidarity. It has been defined as “an utterance, a deed, or a desire contrary to the eternal law.”

Your making a decison NOT in conformity to our beliefs.:o

God Bless you,
 
I am annulled and attend mass regularly. I have been struggling with this for some time. My ex attends my Church and he and his live in girlfriend (the reason for the divorce) receive Communion. Should I talk to the pastor of the Church? It bothers me, because my adult children see this and I don’t think it sets a good example. Isn’t this creating public scandal? I don’t know if my priest knows they are living together or not, but we did attend the Church while we were married, and he knows both of us.

ETA My “Adult” children are 18 and 21.
:bible1:
Therefore whosoever
shall eat this bread, or drink the chalice of the
Lord
unworthily
,
shall be guilty of the
body and of the blood
of the
Lord.
- 1 Corinthians 11:27

+As a former church secretary of 20+ years . . . and a seasoned veteran of multitudes of weekly church staff prayer/business meetings . . . I learned very quickly that one of the common themes of responsibility for a church staff is to . . . **keep the pastor informed **. . . as to problems within the parish . . . I cannot count how many times the question . . . ***“Is there anything going on that we need to know about?” ***. . . crops up during these prayerful staff meetings . . .

It is the responsibility of this particular priest to protect . . . **not only **. . . this father’s and his live-in girl friend’s souls from the grave damage of partaking in sacrilegious communions . . . but it is his responsibility also not to allow the entire church . . . and of particular importance . . . this delinquent father’s children . . . to be further scandalized by this open further ongoing additional sin of their father and his mistress . . . this is a very serious matter affecting the whole community of the faithful . . . from the Senior Pastor on down . . .

:bible1: For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh judgment to himself, not discerning the **body of the **Lord. - 1 Corinthians 11:29
As these children’s parent . . . no matter what their ages . . . it most certainly . . . is . . . within the realm of your responsibility . . . and it **most certainly is **your right . . . to express your concerns to the priest . . . as the parent of these children . . . whether they are adults or not . . . that the sacrilegious communions being indulged in and being enacted in full view of the entire church . . . are creating a delusionary environment of acceptance of sin and acceptance of disobedience to the sound holy teachings of Christ and His Holy Catholic Church . . .

It is the responsibility of the priest to monitor such a circumstance . . .* whenever possible* . . . so that . . . among other things . . . as to not lead any parishoner(s) within his flock into a . . . “near occassion of sin” . . . by the allowing such a disordered example and sinful model of behaviour being enacted before all in regard to sacrilegious communions . . . and it is a fact that this sacrilegious behavior on the part of the father of the children . . . *simply because he is their father *. . . is even more powerfully impacting upon them . . .

Just because your marriage to your children’s father has been annulled does not in anyway diminish your responsibility as a parent to your kids . . . this is not a matter of “minding” another parishoner’s business . . . ex-husband or whomever . . . While the priest . . . may . . . or . . . **may not **. . . act to correct this situation . . . bringing it to his attention is fine and completely acceptable . . . what your priest does with the information then . . . is between the priest and his Lord . . . as pastor of the church . . . from that point on . . .

I do hope and pray that your priest is truly a Godly soul . . .

*God bless . . . *

. . . all for Jesus+​
 
+Great post from the Catechism of the Catholic Church PJM . . . 🙂 . . .

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Sweet Spirit of our Holy God+
. . . thank you Holy Mother Church+
 
I’m not trying to detract from the thread, but what about living in a house with multiple guys and girls is that considered sinful if everyone has their own rooms and they aren’t cohabiting in the same room?
 
I’m not trying to detract from the thread, but what about living in a house with multiple guys and girls is that considered sinful if everyone has their own rooms and they aren’t cohabiting in the same room?
No, because it isn’t assumed that they are in a relationship.
 
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