Receiving the host unworthily--am I condemned or forgiven

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janiruchan

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I havent gone to confession…I dont know if Im still in the state of grace or what…this Sunday I was struggling whether to go to mass or not…nonetheless I resolved to go…prior to this I have had thoughts of asking God to take my life…anyhow,I dismissed them and went to mass…I was okay all throughout the mass…except when I knelt and prayed after receiving the host. When I started to pray my head ached…I had to stop my prayer and sit…my senses are starting to go black. I felt like vomiting, but Ididnt. I sat down the entire time. I was really fainting…everything is dimming and I’m starting to sweat profusely. I stayed for some minute in my seat after the mass ended…I tried to ask for help from people but I couldn’t talk. I sat down again in another pew.

It was so weird. I asked my guardian angel to help me walk through our house…and I believed they helped me…my eardrums went really bad. I couldn’t hear very much clearly. I thought I’m going deaf as well.I dont know what happened.

**Did I just received the host unworthily or was this experience another tangible spiritual experience of God’s presence in my life? **I mean I really went to the mass to be renewed and forgiven…but after this experience i’m not so confident anymore when to take the host or not.
 
No one here can assess the state of your soul. But do see your Doctor asap…you apparently are ill, and in need of a Doctor’s care. God bless you.
 
You did not receive the host unworthily.

It was either one of these or a combination:

Lack of air circulation in the church
Very Bright lights
You were severely depressed/tensed/stressed
You did not eat enough,or didn’t eat at all.
 
Make a good confession, either privately by appointment or during the scheduled hours in church. You will receive many graces. The Lord is kind and merciful. Take care of your health. See a doctor. Make sure you eat well, get some exercise, and drink water. Spend time with good friends. Help a needy person who would be glad to know someone cares. Praying for your physical and spiritual well-being. God loves you more than you can imagine.
 
Every year, perhaps a few times a year and usually in the winter months, I can get extremely fatigued, joints hurt, exhausted but I haven’t had the hearing problem much. I have gotten so tired that I can hardly feel the energy to go out anywhere. It’s puzzling and I’m not sure what it is.
 
  1. Having thoughts against faith that you dismiss are temptations, not sins.
  2. What you experienced is termed “near syncope,” and can be caused by anything from dehydration to lack of food to possibly serious heart disorders and central nervous system disorders. Severe stress can also cause this. In any case, you probably should see or message your doctor/PA/NP to figure out why this happened. (I am a second year NP student and 25 year veteran RN.)
God bless you and keep you,
Kithri
 
Kithri said:
  1. Having thoughts against faith that you dismiss are temptations, not sins.
  2. What you experienced is termed “near syncope,” and can be caused by anything from dehydration to lack of food to possibly serious heart disorders and central nervous system disorders. Severe stress can also cause this. In any case, you probably should see or message your doctor/PA/NP to figure out why this happened. (I am a second year NP student and 25 year veteran RN.)
God bless you and keep you,
Kithri
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thank you. I dont know what it was…can you elaborate more how to distinguish a sin from a temptation? I couldn’t quite get it right. anyhow please pray for me.😃 I was actually cautious if I should go to mass that Sunday since the catechism says missing a sunday mass for no apparent reasonable reason is a mortal sin. I was physically well that day and wasn’t really feeling anything wrong except when I had that fainting spell during the communion.

Second, I was cautious also thinking whether to eat or not to eat the host, since according to 1 corinthians 11:29 “For those who eat and drink without discerning the body of Christ eat and drink judgment on themselves.” I was kind of assessing my suicidal thoughts as mortal sin…but I thought that it would be better to eat the host, even in the absence of confession, than to remain spiritual dry and unnourished…but after what happened I wondered if God was responding to me that I shouldn’t do such thing without confession…Honestly, the thought of not being able to eat the host is very mortifying. I realized though how holy the body was.

Thank you for your responses btw!
 
janiruchan said:
Second, I was cautious also thinking whether to eat or not to eat the host, since according to 1 corinthians 11:29 “For those who eat and drink without discerning the body of Christ eat and drink judgment on themselves.” I was kind of assessing my suicidal thoughts as mortal sin…but I thought that it would be better to eat the host, even in the absence of confession, than to remain spiritual dry and unnourished…but after what happened I wondered if God was responding to me that I shouldn’t do such thing without confession…Honestly, the thought of not being able to eat the host is very mortifying. I realized though how holy the body was.

Thank you for your responses btw!
Click to expand...
archive.org/details/vainfearsthatkee00antouoft

See particularly the first few.
 
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