Receiving this weekend?

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I don’t see why it’s complicated. If she has doubts about her missing Mass intention and she can’t confess until next weekend then go to Mass this weekend but don’t receive. And confess as soon as possible.
 
From what you describe here, you were unable to go. If you had said this to me in confession, I would very likely have asked you why you thought it was a sin. You didn’t deliberately check out of going to Mass, you had circumstances arise (including your safety in transit on Halloween) that made it very difficult to go. So be at peace.

To the rest of you who are commenting on this and making things more difficult for the OP, perhaps it would help to understand a lovely little interpretational principle for Canon Law. “Odio restringi et favores convenit ampliari.” Burdens are to be restricted and favors multiplied. This means that if a law grants a favor (such as the obligation to attend Mass being dispensed), it is to be interpreted as broadly as possible. If you can’t go to Mass, you can’t go to Mass. From what the OP said, she couldn’t go to Mass. It doesn’t matter how much you might want to nitpick her circumstances or intentions. She made the decision that circumstances were such that she couldn’t go. She didn’t just deliberately say “Well, why bother, I don’t want to make the effort.”

OP, be at peace. Your action here was to prudently decide, based on circumstances, that it wasn’t good to be out at night. To the rest of you, going to Mass is great. Going to Mass is the most important thing we do. But let’s stop imagining that fulfilling one’s obligation to go is the absolute highest good. God and the Church do not demand the impossible.

-Fr ACEGC
 
This is a bit of a contradiction. “Better safe than sorry” is a good way to feed scruples, because then the person will be going to confession all the time under that reasoning. It’s better to let the scrupulous talk to their priest in person and work out what they should do vis-à-vis frequency of confession.
 
If there’s anything that being a priest has taught me, it’s that we don’t get anywhere by not having broader perspectives. Faith is not a clean, orderly, engineered operation designed for optimal functioning. It’s a dirty, messy, contact sport, with as many problems and injuries and tactical difficulties as there are players in the game. We get nowhere by ignoring the law, still less do we get anywhere by beating people up with it.
 
Just talk to your priest. Everything will be okay. God loves you.
 
edward_george1 said:
From what you describe here, you were unable to go. If you had said this to me in confession, I would very likely have asked you why you thought it was a sin. You didn’t deliberately check out of going to Mass, you had circumstances arise (including your safety in transit on Halloween) that made it very difficult to go. So be at peace.

To the rest of you who are commenting on this and making things more difficult for the OP, perhaps it would help to understand a lovely little interpretational principle for Canon Law. “Odio restringi et favores convenit ampliari.” Burdens are to be restricted and favors multiplied. This means that if a law grants a favor (such as the obligation to attend Mass being dispensed), it is to be interpreted as broadly as possible. If you can’t go to Mass, you can’t go to Mass. From what the OP said, she couldn’t go to Mass. It doesn’t matter how much you might want to nitpick her circumstances or intentions. She made the decision that circumstances were such that she couldn’t go. She didn’t just deliberately say “Well, why bother, I don’t want to make the effort.”

OP, be at peace. Your action here was to prudently decide, based on circumstances, that it wasn’t good to be out at night. To the rest of you, going to Mass is great. Going to Mass is the most important thing we do. But let’s stop imagining that fulfilling one’s obligation to go is the absolute highest good. God and the Church do not demand the impossible.

-Fr ACEGC
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Great to hear from a Priest.
 
halogirl said:
I’m overwhelmed by it all honestly. Became a New Catholic as of this April. My Mother died last month. My dad has dementia and he’s being awful to me and quite dependant on me . I don’t drive right now and I live in a town that’s not great when you’re relying on public transport at night. But still I could have gone, even though I was moving house . Sometimes I wish I’d just stayed as a Methodist when I thought and was convinced I was saved
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You are being too hard on yourself and on Catholicism.

Perhaps you weren’t taught the full picture in RCIA when it comes to Holy Days and Sundays.

It’s wrong to miss mass without reason. You had legitimate reason.

I too did not attend holy day mass because I was on a business trip, downtown in a large city without transportaction, where the only mass was after dark in a very sketchy part of downtown. So, no I didn’t go.

The obligation is not without reasonable exceptions. It’s prudential judgment. You don’t need to poll here in CAF if your circumstances are “bad enough”— I see it all the time asking if someone is “sick enough” or whatever enough to miss mass. You are the judge of that— you know when your circumstances are such that it’s not feasible or prudent to go.
 
edward_george1 said:
Faith is not a clean, orderly, engineered operation designed for optimal functioning. It’s a dirty, messy, contact sport, with as many problems and injuries and tactical difficulties as there are players in the game
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But…but…but…the Baltimore Catechism! If not every question has a simple yes/no answer, I’m just gonna die here!
 
Thank you Father and thank you everyone who has taken time to reply. We needed to be out of the property ASAP as my lease was up and property was very damp. Now we are moved and I will go to my new parish tomorrow! I will try to see the priest briefly after mass
 
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. It must be a very difficult time for you and your family. Stay close to God in prayer.

🙏🕊️
 
Occasionally, some events in life cause us to miss Mass. I’ve even known priests who, due to unexpected or burdensome events, missed Sunday Mass. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It sounds like you had a full plate that day. It’s not like you skipped Mass to go to the pub. 😎 🍻
 
On a serious note, I do think people who insist on black and white answers for everything, co-signed by two Vatican officials, are sometimes not motivated by a desire for orthodoxy so much as looking for someone to relieve them of the burden of using their own moral intuition and reason.
 
I went to mass didn’t receive then had confession afterwards. Xx
 
In situations like yours, it’s okay to miss Mass. If you are your dad’s caregiver, he’s depending on you to be with him. Needing to take him to and from speech therapy and any appointments he needs certainly qualifies as a valid reason for missing Mass.

And given that it was Halloween, it’s natural that you wouldn’t have felt safe being out alone at night.

You are still dealing with the recent passing of your dear mum and going through a major move. You need to take care of yourself so you can be there for your dad.

If you are able to watch a televised Mass (like EWTN has), do that until you are able to go to Mass in person.

Have your priest come to your house or flat to hear your Confession and then you receive the Eucharist.

And please, don’t be so hard on yourself. You will make it back to Mass when you are able to.

You and your dad are in my prayers.
 
edward_george1 said:
This is a bit of a contradiction. “Better safe than sorry” is a good way to feed scruples, because then the person will be going to confession all the time under that reasoning. It’s better to let the scrupulous talk to their priest in person and work out what they should do vis-à-vis frequency of confession.
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Father - thank you for your wisdom and counsel.

Quick follow up question: would you say that “better safe than sorry” is a bad approach all around? Or just a bad approach for scrupulous people?

I’ve personally viewed is as a good approach except for the scrupulous.

Thoughts?

Thank you and God Bless
 
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