Recent confession "problem", help!

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Before you read any further you need to know that I’ve been fighting masturbation/porn addiction for a long time now.

Today I went to the confession. There were no priests that I usually confess to so I decided to go to a priest to whom I was confessing a few years ago (I stopped confessing to this priest some time ago and started confessing to other ones). He knew me. I started saying my sins and I at the end I said the one about masturbation/pornography. After I did that I said I have my ups and downs but that I do my best and I hate that sin and so on. But after I said all that he started saying in a very serious tone that every time I visit a pornographic site that I actually support those people and that women who star in those movies are often bought, that drugs are injected into them, that they’re someone’s mothers and so on. Basically he painted me a picture in which they’re all the victims and I’m the bad guy because I visit those sites and because of people like me this is going on. He also said it’s like I’m “buying” those women. I said I’m honestly trying my best but he said that Jesus had said “go and don’t sin anymore”, not “go and try no to sin anymore”. He said I will answer before God for “buying these women”, as he put it by watching pornography and those sites. Then he said “I will say something even more serious, I don’t know if you can receive eucharist if you do that”. When I heard that I got paralyzed. Literally, I was never so scared in my life. Union with Christ is the only thing that really matters to me in this world even though I fall. And with christmas coming I couldn’t even imagine not getting an absolution. Anyway, I said I was sorry and that I will be done with it. I had to re-assure him two or three times more. He said that today it has to stop. But it was like he forced me into saying that I will definitely stop. I don’t have a problem with that. But the problem is that what if I won’t be able to never do it again? I think I’m addicted to this at this point. I can hold out for 2-3 weeks but after some time there always comes a time when I just have this urge in my body to do that and nothing, and I mean nothing can stop it. I tried. Oh God I tried so many times…
He knows I’ve been fighting this sin for a few years now so maybe that’s how he tries to help me by making a definite decision. Maybe he triest to guilt me into this by saying about these women? I don’t know. I just… I’m scared that if I fall I’ll be damned forever.

At the end he said that I’m a “very good person” and that all my other sins are every day venial sins and that it’s not even decent for me to have the sin so big as masturbation/porn on my conscience. So my question is: if I fall now (by now I mean in a couple of days/weeks, depends on how long I will hold out) then I just might as well let it go, not go to another confession and basically agree that I’m going to hell? Because from the looks of it it looked like he gave me a “last chance”. But he doesn’t even know the half of it. Starting with the fact that I can’t believe that porn stars are forced to star in porn movies. That’s just ridiculous. Well, maybe there are some single cases like this but not in general. Secondly, I don’t watch porn because I want to. I watch it only when I just can’t hold it out any longer. People who were/are addicted will know exactly what I’m talking about. And I HATE porn. I HATE masturbation. Often after I do that I just cry and ask God for forgiveness. I just cry at nights because I hate this. I’m always disgusted by myself. I actually go to therapies (psychological and psychiatrical) because I have many problems, mostly with anxiety, OCD and even scrupulosity. There are times I ask God to just take my life away because I don’t want to sin anymore. But there are always time when I fall! And I know that now it’s a matter of time before I fall. And I’m just scared that after this time I might as well get ready for hell. Porn stars are victims and I’m a bad guy even though I’d rather die right now and go to Heaven rather than keep living and sinning and displeasing God.

People who were addicted to this sin will know exactly about the spiritual battle that’s happening in a man.

Do you have any advice? I mean, if I’ll go to confession the next time I fall (be it even in a year) to this priest then I’m pretty sure he won’t give me absolution. But what if I go to another one? Wouldn’t that be like “cheating” because I know he’ll absolve me?

I knew one priest which was great and was always very friendly and conforting. He knew what I was going through and was very nice to me because of that. He knew it’s hard enough as it is and that I’m trying. I with I was still going to his confession.

What do you think about it? I’m really scared and I don’t know what to do if I fall. Maybe I should just get ready for hell because I’m trying my best all the time when it comes to being a good person. But it is never enough. God, I hate this sin so much…
 
I’m praying for you. Remember God loves you. We are all sinners, but God in His infinite love and mercy never leaves us. He is always there welcoming us back from sin. Keep going to confession. Pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance and direction. God bless you.
 
JustSomeone said:
Before you read any further you need to know that I’ve been fighting masturbation/porn addiction for a long time now.

Today I went to the confession. There were no priests that I usually confess to so I decided to go to a priest to whom I was confessing a few years ago (I stopped confessing to this priest some time ago and started confessing to other ones). He knew me. I started saying my sins and I at the end I said the one about masturbation/pornography. After I did that I said I have my ups and downs but that I do my best and I hate that sin and so on. But after I said all that he started saying in a very serious tone that every time I visit a pornographic site that I actually support those people and that women who star in those movies are often bought, that drugs are injected into them, that they’re someone’s mothers and so on. Basically he painted me a picture in which they’re all the victims and I’m the bad guy because I visit those sites and because of people like me this is going on. He also said it’s like I’m “buying” those women. I said I’m honestly trying my best but he said that Jesus had said “go and don’t sin anymore”, not “go and try no to sin anymore”. He said I will answer before God for “buying these women”, as he put it by watching pornography and those sites. Then he said “I will say something even more serious, I don’t know if you can receive eucharist if you do that”. When I heard that I got paralyzed. Literally, I was never so scared in my life. Union with Christ is the only thing that really matters to me in this world even though I fall. And with christmas coming I couldn’t even imagine not getting an absolution. Anyway, I said I was sorry and that I will be done with it. I had to re-assure him two or three times more. He said that today it has to stop. But it was like he forced me into saying that I will definitely stop. I don’t have a problem with that. But the problem is that what if I won’t be able to never do it again? I think I’m addicted to this at this point. I can hold out for 2-3 weeks but after some time there always comes a time when I just have this urge in my body to do that and nothing, and I mean nothing can stop it. I tried. Oh God I tried so many times…
He knows I’ve been fighting this sin for a few years now so maybe that’s how he tries to help me by making a definite decision. Maybe he triest to guilt me into this by saying about these women? I don’t know. I just… I’m scared that if I fall I’ll be damned forever.

At the end he said that I’m a “very good person” and that all my other sins are every day venial sins and that it’s not even decent for me to have the sin so big as masturbation/porn on my conscience. So my question is: if I fall now (by now I mean in a couple of days/weeks, depends on how long I will hold out) then I just might as well let it go, not go to another confession and basically agree that I’m going to hell? Because from the looks of it it looked like he gave me a “last chance”. But he doesn’t even know the half of it. Starting with the fact that I can’t believe that porn stars are forced to star in porn movies. That’s just ridiculous. Well, maybe there are some single cases like this but not in general. Secondly, I don’t watch porn because I want to. I watch it only when I just can’t hold it out any longer. People who were/are addicted will know exactly what I’m talking about. And I HATE porn. I HATE masturbation. Often after I do that I just cry and ask God for forgiveness. I just cry at nights because I hate this. I’m always disgusted by myself. I actually go to therapies (psychological and psychiatrical) because I have many problems, mostly with anxiety, OCD and even scrupulosity. There are times I ask God to just take my life away because I don’t want to sin anymore. But there are always time when I fall! And I know that now it’s a matter of time before I fall. And I’m just scared that after this time I might as well get ready for hell. Porn stars are victims and I’m a bad guy even though I’d rather die right now and go to Heaven rather than keep living and sinning and displeasing God.

People who were addicted to this sin will know exactly about the spiritual battle that’s happening in a man.

Do you have any advice? I mean, if I’ll go to confession the next time I fall (be it even in a year) to this priest then I’m pretty sure he won’t give me absolution. But what if I go to another one? Wouldn’t that be like “cheating” because I know he’ll absolve me?

I knew one priest which was great and was always very friendly and conforting. He knew what I was going through and was very nice to me because of that. He knew it’s hard enough as it is and that I’m trying. I with I was still going to his confession.

What do you think about it? I’m really scared and I don’t know what to do if I fall. Maybe I should just get ready for hell because I’m trying my best all the time when it comes to being a good person. But it is never enough. God, I hate this sin so much…
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First off what he says about porn stars is true. I have seen many good girl get into it and then they enjoyed it but after awhile it became a living hell for them. So the priest is in the right when telling these.

However the priest has passed judgement on you which is only something God can do. Go to confession and if you fall again you are not damned.
 
Really think about what the priest said. You stated that you are already doubting that what he said was true. When The Lord speaks to us through the priests we should listen, as the devil will immediately cause us to question the truth.

Pray, pray always. I will pray for you!
 
It sounds like maybe this particular priest is not the best fit for you as a confessor. He was perhaps trying to shake you out of a perceived complacency regarding your sins, and to open your eyes to the ugly truth about porn (which you already seem to know). But I seriously doubt his intention was to scare you away from the confessional, from God’s healing sacrament. Also, you are only assuming he would ever withhold absolution. I can only speak from my own experience, but I have been to several “tough-love” type confessors before too, and in spite of strong chastisements and warnings, I have never been denied absolution. All I can say to you is, keep getting back up whenever you fall (which I pray will not be too soon or too often), and never get so discouraged that you stop going to confession, and I am praying for you too. Habitual sin can be a most difficult burden, I know.
 
Dear JustSomeone,

First thing I’d ask you is to not get disturbed. Your sins are forgiven. don’t think now about the time you will sin next or if you will even sin again.

Second thing is that Our God is forgiving. If you sin again (I hope you don’t) God will be waiting with open arms for the return of his prodigal son.

Thirdly, the priest gave you a very good advice. I suffered the same problem that you are suffering now, and it is curious that in countless confessions I never got the exact same words in different days with the same sin. It is like the priest knows exactly what words you need to hear at that time. Remember those words (great that you wrote them) when the temptation comes. The priest wants you not to think not just about you, but in the people that is affected by your actions.

The last advice is optional but this is how I do my confessions. Start by saying the grave sins, don’t leave them to the end. Also, just say the sins and number of times you sinned, don’t try justify, or saying that you have ups and downs, never argue with the priest. When he speaks listen with all you heart. I think this confidence shows that you are really repented and aware of your faults.

And I am sad that you left the confession with those feelings. When the confession ends try to be a little joyful, congratulate yourself. It is a new life now. God gave you a new chance.
 
christofirst said:
It sounds like maybe this particular priest is not the best fit for you as a confessor. He was perhaps trying to shake you out of a perceived complacency regarding your sins, and to open your eyes to the ugly truth about porn (which you already seem to know). But I seriously doubt his intention was to scare you away from the confessional, from God’s healing sacrament. Also, you are only assuming he would ever withhold absolution. I can only speak from my own experience, but I have been to several “tough-love” type confessors before too, and in spite of strong chastisements and warnings, I have never been denied absolution. All I can say to you is, keep getting back up whenever you fall (which I pray will not be too soon or too often), and never get so discouraged that you stop going to confession, and I am praying for you too. Habitual sin can be a most difficult burden, I know.
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A very wise post! So many of us know the knots of conscience and self loathing habitual sin puts an inherently good man through. But firstly and most importantly know and have faith in the loving forgiveness and mercy that is found in the heart of Jesus.
Be rightfully afraid of the tough love of your confessor. Do not doubt the truth of his advice. So should a loving father admonish His prodigal son.
But remember the words of our Christ seventy times seven… one lost sheep, leaving the ninety nine… rushing towards His returning sinner. He loves you! and only He knows why when you fail him every time.
But every time get back on the horse, confess and try again even if you “know” you will fail. Habit is destroyed only through consistent acts of the will and constant prayer. Some of us use habitual sin as a urge to find Jesus in as many parts of our “other” lives as we can in reparation. Your despair and self loathing is a sign you are still His. Because we are never happy outside the gate of His enfolding arms of forgiveness.
We all rely on His Mercy. Some of us revel in it more than we should. The brave man knows the fear of the coward but gets back on the horse as a son of the household. You have the ring and the sandals of a son. One day you must face the question … do you love Him more than yourself? That is where the horse comes in.
 
Conquering an addiction, any addiction, requires action on your part and not just wishful hoping.

Actions to take may include: daily mass, daily rosary, daily scripture reading, weekly confession, spiritual direction, porn-blocking software for computer and smartphones,
professional therapy/counseling, attendance and participation at free 12 Step Meetings like Sexaholics Anonymous (www.sa.org)

To be “sexually sober” is going to take effort.
 
Can’t you get software for your computer that will block those sites? And if that fails, I’d get rid of the computer.

Meanwhile, stop doubting what your confessor said about the porn industry – that’s Satan trying to lure you into making excuses. I really believe that getting us to think “it’s not really all that bad” is one of his favorite and most successful tactics.
 
Is the priest who hear a confession not required to look at the whole picture? You think you are addicted to porn and masturbation? And you seek help? You are doing really all you can, nobody of us can just “kick the habit” and walk away from it. It may take years, and still you can “fall of the wagon” again. Masturbation is a “tricky sin”. I did my best to understand the CCC and what I did find out is that there are two versions about the same sin, first the one where circumstances must be considered, the other where it says very short that it is a mortal sin. (Which it is.) I think the first passage is what you are in. It really is a problem and you do what you can, and that is all what God ask you to do. We can’t perform miracles, that is what God do, so all we can is to try. The priest did tell you what you did know. Then he made, in my mind, a very clumsy effort to scare the daylight of you, and it seem that he did a good job in that. You did sin, you did confess, and even mortal sin are forgiven if we are honest in our confession, and I don’t think you was dishonest. Yes, Christ did teach us that we shall not sin again, but Christ also told us that we must forgive our brothers or sisters not seven but seventy seven times. (If my memory serve me right.) Anyway, we are supposed to [always] forgive because God will forgive us. If you have a porn&masturbation addiction you have. Some drink to much some gamble some take drugs, they are all addictions, and in need of medical help. So you are a sinner but you can’t control it. Hey, how many members here would not be struggling with some addiction? So what should you do? Forgive yourself first. You feel bad, and that shows that you know what is wrong what right, but forgive yourself first. Understand that you have a big task to do, and Rome was not build in a day. Every week is a step forward, and if you fall, get up again, God will help you. As long as you are honest (yes, I have this addiction) and do your best there is hope. And try to find another priest. He may be a good priest but maybe not for you. You will make it, a week will become a month and so on, and you will fall, we all do, but God know that, why do you think we have confession? Because we will sin and God want us all to make it to His supper table. I think you will be fine, don’t worry. And never forget that we all are sinners, and still God love us all. If that is not hope then what is?
 
Well, it seems you HAVE crossed the line into “addictive” behaviors concerning this particular mortal sin and that since you’ve expressed suicidal ideations, you need better help than what you are currently getting and may need medication. I’m no expert but you could get some relics and keep them on your person. That WILL help. There ARE things you can do to stop all this, but you must WILL TO DO THEM THEN DO THEM That’s the part no one else can do for you. You seem to be on the fence about getting help. Try.

Glenda
 
I will pray for you. I firmly believe that all of us struggle with this issue at some point in our life. The sexual drive is a strong one, and dealing with the related temptations is a challenge that can only be met with prayer.

Does your confessor know that you suffer with OCD? This can make a lot of behaviors difficult to manage, and obsessive worrying only contributes to anxiety. I am in no way suggesting this is an excuse for your behavior, but it is a condition that would probably make it harder for you to deal with it.

As for porn. Unfortunately there is a lot of truth in what your Confessor said about it. By watching this type of thing you are supporting a lot of illegal activity out there. There is more prostitution going on via force than anyone would like to think. Children and women are sold for this every single day, and the United States is one of the largest contributors to this, in terms of those “buying the services”, providing children and women. Please, as perhaps a first step in addressing your issue, stop watching these type of programs or reading such books. It will help eliminate a source of temptation as well. Pray for purity.
 
In my humble opinion, your priest gave some advice worth thinking about, but if you can, think about finding a parish where there is closed confession (where the priest can’t see you). You don’t need judgment. This is a tough issue; sexual sins can be hard to overcome; you need encouragement - and yes, tough love when appropriate.
 
The priest gave you good advice and told you the truth about pornography. You support the sins of this involved or trapped into making the films, every time you visit such a website.

He’s also telling you that, until the reason to stop sinning becomes stronger than your desire, you’ll continue to sin.

Love of God has to be stronger than your desire. Prayer and penance are the only ways to get control of your desires and to stop letting them control you.

Jim
 
Someone close to our family has been in the adult industry since she was around 11, almost 40 years. She has been a stripper, has done things with men for money, and still has her own website, etc.

We have had many long, brutal, tearful talks. She is not a happy woman. She is a slave sure as this world. She has always been miserable in this lifestyle. She deeply feels like only an object. She has a long string of abusive relationships and has lost 5 children the state took. Even her email handle reflects her belief she is merely a “toy” for men’s amusement. She stays in the business because she doesn’t feel good enough to do anything else. And she’s fond of of saying, “I’m a high school drop-out. Why would I quit doing my website to make way less money at Wal-Mart?”

Her young son (and all her other kids) knows what she does. Her “work” has crept into every aspect of her life. Even her Facebook profile picture is provocative. She thinks nothing of going to Little League games dressed provocatively. Her son now thinks this is normal and has shown naked pictures of his mom to his friends. He is facing charges for molesting a family member. He is in middle school. His older brother is facing prison for raping a 15 year-old.

I’m a counselor by trade and I’ve worked with lots of ladies in the industry. Her story is basically the same as others’. Abused as a child, abused as an adult. Usually drugs come into to the picture at some point.

This is what you are patronizing: Destruction that has left chunks of my family in despair.

I’ll pray for you. I’m so sorry you’re suffering. I send you love and hugs. God bless you.

:hug1:
 
Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut everyone.

As for the porn sites and porn stars, he’s right of course but that’s just part of the picture. Sure, there are abuses in that industry and it’s an evil one as well but you can’t just put all the responsibility of that on people who struggle with pornography and don’t want to be a part of it at all. I am just because I am weak and got into an addiction (unknowingly at that, I started when I was young and I didn’t even know it was wrong, then it became a habit and it was too late to stop just like that and it became my addiction) and I have no ill will at all. If it was up to me I’d delete every porn site that ever existed so there would be no temptation on the Internet at least.
Also it’s not true that all it takes is a visit to a site for them to prosper. I know about many sites being closed down because they weren’t getting enough members and profits. So it’s not true that if you just visit a site without paying for membership or something you automatically support them.

I’m not trying to defend myself here, just saying the objective truth.

As for you saying about the blocking software. When the urge comes do you really think it would be an obstacle for me? I don’t visit that websites on a daily basis. I can stay away from them. But when the urge to masturbates overcomes me then I could do it even just by thinking pornographic thoughts. So blocking anything won’t help. Besides, I actually tried that a few years ago. And it really didn’t help when it was supposed to so I know what I’m saying.

Besides, I don’t like that all of this varies so much. Some people are allowed to receive Christ in communion even if they are commiting this sin (because addiction lessens their culpability and so on) and I almost didn’t get an absolution. Where’s equality here? Where’s the ultimate truth? Anything fair at all?

Ultimately, he may be right.
Maybe I just shouldn’t receive Christ in communion if I can’t overcome this addiction. Maybe I just should just stop. I am in such a mess lately (I have tons of problems, literally, with my mental health and I even think that God hates me - I KNOW he doesn’t but if you have OCD then it doesn’t matter what you KNOW.) that I can’t imagine myself overcoming this addiction. There was a time when I was happy and it was going really well. I could not do this even for a month or two. Which was a huge success. Right now it’s 2-3 weeks which is still good. Because a few years ago I could start a day or two after a confession. But it seems like none of this matters. It doesn’t matter I’m doing my best if I barely receive an absolution. Maybe it’s just not for me.
Someone here wrote I “despair”. I don’t. I just don’t know what else I can do and even priests have enough of my sins at this point. I don’t know. I’m just so tired of all this. Always trying to do the right thing for everyone. And still failing miserably in so many areas.
 
JustSomeone, as long as you have a firm purpose of amendment, your confession and absolution are fine. If you fall again, pick yourself up and go to confession again. Every day if you have to.
 
JustSomeone said:
Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut everyone.

As for the porn sites and porn stars, he’s right of course but that’s just part of the picture. Sure, there are abuses in that industry and it’s an evil one as well but you can’t just put all the responsibility of that on people who struggle with pornography and don’t want to be a part of it at all. I am just because I am weak and got into an addiction (unknowingly at that, I started when I was young and I didn’t even know it was wrong, then it became a habit and it was too late to stop just like that and it became my addiction) and I have no ill will at all. If it was up to me I’d delete every porn site that ever existed so there would be no temptation on the Internet at least.
Also it’s not true that all it takes is a visit to a site for them to prosper. I know about many sites being closed down because they weren’t getting enough members and profits. So it’s not true that if you just visit a site without paying for membership or something you automatically support them.

I’m not trying to defend myself here, just saying the objective truth.

As for you saying about the blocking software. When the urge comes do you really think it would be an obstacle for me? I don’t visit that websites on a daily basis. I can stay away from them. But when the urge to masturbates overcomes me then I could do it even just by thinking pornographic thoughts. So blocking anything won’t help. Besides, I actually tried that a few years ago. And it really didn’t help when it was supposed to so I know what I’m saying.

Besides, I don’t like that all of this varies so much. Some people are allowed to receive Christ in communion even if they are commiting this sin (because addiction lessens their culpability and so on) and I almost didn’t get an absolution. Where’s equality here? Where’s the ultimate truth? Anything fair at all?

Ultimately, he may be right.
Maybe I just shouldn’t receive Christ in communion if I can’t overcome this addiction. Maybe I just should just stop. I am in such a mess lately (I have tons of problems, literally, with my mental health and I even think that God hates me - I KNOW he doesn’t but if you have OCD then it doesn’t matter what you KNOW.) that I can’t imagine myself overcoming this addiction. There was a time when I was happy and it was going really well. I could not do this even for a month or two. Which was a huge success. Right now it’s 2-3 weeks which is still good. Because a few years ago I could start a day or two after a confession. But it seems like none of this matters. It doesn’t matter I’m doing my best if I barely receive an absolution. Maybe it’s just not for me.
Someone here wrote I “despair”. I don’t. I just don’t know what else I can do and even priests have enough of my sins at this point. I don’t know. I’m just so tired of all this. Always trying to do the right thing for everyone. And still failing miserably in so many areas.
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For porn-blocking software to be successful you allow SOMEONE ELSE to devise the password so you won’t know it.

Again, you say you “don’t know what else to do” to overcome this sin, but you do not describe what you have actually tried ---- so you have tried daily mass, daily rosary, daily scripture reading, weekly confession, spiritual direction, professional therapy, and free 12 Step groups like Sexaholics Anonymous?
 
anonymous_in_fl said:
For porn-blocking software to be successful you allow SOMEONE ELSE to devise the password so you won’t know it.

Again, you say you “don’t know what else to do” to overcome this sin, but you do not describe what you have actually tried ---- so you have tried daily mass, daily rosary, daily scripture reading, weekly confession, spiritual direction, professional therapy, and free 12 Step groups like Sexaholics Anonymous?
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I tried praying, daily scripture reading and weekly confession.
 
You want to confess your sin. You want to stop committing the sin. Go to Confession as often as need. Receive the Eucharist in a state of Grace as often as possible. The Eucharist is called the “Medicine of Immortality” by St Ignatius of Antioch who’s memory we celebrate today. 👍

Proverbs 24:16 For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity.

A disciple came to a certain Elder, one day, and said, “Father, I have fallen!”

The Elder answered, “Get up!”

Again and again he came to the Elder and said, “I have fallen!”

And the Elder invariably answered, “Get up!”

“Until when must I continue getting up?” the disciple asked.

And the Elder answered, “Until the day when you give up your soul to God!”

Thus, every time when we feel that we have fallen, the Sacrament of Repentance tells us to get up.

You do not lose the battle against sin until you quit getting (give up struggling against it).

Abba [St] Anthony [the Great] said to Abba Poemen, ‘This is the great work of a man: always to take blame for his own sins before God and to expect temptation to his last breath.’

We will be tempted. We will likely have shortcomings in the future. Thankfully we have the Sacrament of Confession.

“Did you commit sin? Enter the Church, repent for your sin, for here is the physician, not the judge. Here one is not investigated; one receives remission of sins.” - St John Chrysostom

Also, the priest is correct that you do participate and give support the evils caused to women in the sex industry when you look at porn. The priest just wanted to enlighten to this fact. When you realize the truth about the sex industry, it make the sin look far more disgusting.

How does one participate in the sin of another person? We sin through another person’s actions by …
  1. counsel
  2. consent
  3. provocation
  4. praise or flattery
  5. concealment
  6. partaking
  7. silence
  8. the defense of the ill done
  9. Counsel: If you tell or advise another person to do something sinful, so that they do it, you have sinned by participation in that person’s sin.
  10. Command: If you have authority over another, and you forced that person to commit something which is sinful, while that person might have mitigated guilt, you don’t.
  11. Consent: If you are asked if you think a sin is good thing to do, and have some power over the situation, and if you permit or approve or yield to the commission of the sin, you’ve sinned.
  12. Provocation: You badger or drive or dare a person to do something such that he does it.
  13. Praise of flattery: Pretty clear. This is another way of prompting a person.
  14. Concealment: A person commits a sin and then you help that person conceal the evidence or the action.
  15. Partaking: Another person is the principal person involved, but you are right there helping the actual sinful deed. For example, a person helping a doctor commit an abortion, a politician helping an aggressive governor or president or speaker of the house drive through recognition of contrary-to-nature “marriage” by providing a vote.
  16. Silence: There is an old adage that “silent implies consent”. If a person with great authority or moral authority is in a position to stop a sin from happening, and yet stays silent and doesn’t get involved, then that may constitute participation in the sin committed. This is trickier to figure out, but it isn’t rocket science. There may be attendant mitigating circumstances, such as the probable invasion of Vatican City, the capture of the Roman Pontiff and destruction of the Church in many places. In the meanwhile one could work quietly. One cannot, however, do nothing. Another point must be considered: the rules governing fraternal correction. It may not be your place to correct another person, depending on the circumstances.
  17. Defense: Pretty clear. You defend or justify or give an apology in favor of the sin committed. This is not the same as what a defense lawyer does in the case of a person who is guilty.
Source: wdtprs.com/blog/2011/07/quaeritur-participation-in-the-sins-of-other-people/
Do realize that you are one of many Catholics who struggle against temptation to view porn. You are not the odd man out. Many devout Catholics struggle as well. Keep going to Confession. Keep struggling against this sin. 🙂
 
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