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ajecphotos
Guest
The way I see it is that you needed this ‘shock’ from the priest! God works in mysterious ways and maybe this is what you need to help stop this issue.
God bless you
God bless you
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JustSomeone
Guest
I know all about this but I always speak against porn in conversations. I always say it’s wrong and so on. I never defend it. I hate porn. The problem is that I’m the victim of this sin and of people who act in those movies and record them. From what I see now it’s like everyone is trying to defend porn stars and put all the blame on me. That doesn’t make any sense at all. I yield to the temptation and fall every once in a while. That’s all there is to it. I don’t visit those sites because I WANT to. I do it as a last resort when I just can’t stop myself. Also, I am perfectly sure that I know more about this industry that any priest. I’ve been a slave to this sin for a long, long time now (when I started I didn’t even know what I was doing and if it was wrong or not) and if you do not support those people by buying their movies or membership on their sites then they lose money and very often go bankrupt. I’ve seen that happen to many sites. So no, I do not support this in any way unless I’d pay for the movies or memberships. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. I wish I didn’t but I do have some knowledge about this.How does one participate in the sin of another person? We sin through another person’s actions by …
Source: wdtprs.com/blog/2011/07/quaeritur-participation-in-the-sins-of-other-people/
- counsel
- consent
- provocation
- praise or flattery
- concealment
- partaking
- silence
- the defense of the ill done
- Counsel: If you tell or advise another person to do something sinful, so that they do it, you have sinned by participation in that person’s sin.
- Command: If you have authority over another, and you forced that person to commit something which is sinful, while that person might have mitigated guilt, you don’t.
- Consent: If you are asked if you think a sin is good thing to do, and have some power over the situation, and if you permit or approve or yield to the commission of the sin, you’ve sinned.
- Provocation: You badger or drive or dare a person to do something such that he does it.
- Praise of flattery: Pretty clear. This is another way of prompting a person.
- Concealment: A person commits a sin and then you help that person conceal the evidence or the action.
- Partaking: Another person is the principal person involved, but you are right there helping the actual sinful deed. For example, a person helping a doctor commit an abortion, a politician helping an aggressive governor or president or speaker of the house drive through recognition of contrary-to-nature “marriage” by providing a vote.
- Silence: There is an old adage that “silent implies consent”. If a person with great authority or moral authority is in a position to stop a sin from happening, and yet stays silent and doesn’t get involved, then that may constitute participation in the sin committed. This is trickier to figure out, but it isn’t rocket science. There may be attendant mitigating circumstances, such as the probable invasion of Vatican City, the capture of the Roman Pontiff and destruction of the Church in many places. In the meanwhile one could work quietly. One cannot, however, do nothing. Another point must be considered: the rules governing fraternal correction. It may not be your place to correct another person, depending on the circumstances.
- Defense: Pretty clear. You defend or justify or give an apology in favor of the sin committed. This is not the same as what a defense lawyer does in the case of a person who is guilty.
Do realize that you are one of many Catholics who struggle against temptation to view porn. You are not the odd man out. Many devout Catholics struggle as well. Keep going to Confession. Keep struggling against this sin.
I don’t think so. They only thing it did is made me scared away from the church and confession. I should have told the priest that Jesus ALSO said “forgive” and not seven times but “seventy seven” which means infinite amount. I’ll just look for another parish and continue doing my best to overcome this sin.
Good.
This is true in many cases. There are some women who voluntarily join the industry. However, most are trafficked into the industry against their will and live drugged up and photographed.
Of course. Addictions are hard to fight. Temptations are hard to fight. We Catholics are required by God to fight them until the end.
This is unlikely because many people who have (or had) the same addiction agree with your priest’s statement. Many women who have managed to leave the industry say the same thing as the priest. Looking at porn does not make you knowledgable about its background.
If you click it, you support it. Free websites make money when you click their links that take you to a free gallery from a membership website. It is just like how clicking adds gives money to the person hosting the add. If you click on free porn, the free porn website makes money.
Again, many struggle with this sin. The truth about it is harsh. However, you can either accept the truth and fight this sin or you can reject the truth and fight this sin. Rationalization never leads to freedom from addictions. Someone who desires to follow God does not make excuses for his sins but, rather, owns up to them. Do not try to justify yourself.
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JustSomeone
Guest
I’m not. I never justify myself. I’m just saying the truth because I am the victim of this sin. If there was no porn it would be a lot easier to not masturbate. But I agree with you on the rest. I will fight. Always.Good.
This is true in many cases. There are some women who voluntarily join the industry. However, most are trafficked into the industry against their will and live drugged up and photographed.
Of course. Addictions are hard to fight. Temptations are hard to fight. We Catholics are required by God to fight them until the end.
This is unlikely because many people who have (or had) the same addiction agree with your priest’s statement. Many women who have managed to leave the industry say the same thing as the priest. Looking at porn does not make you knowledgable about its background.
If you click it, you support it. Free websites make money when you click their links that take you to a free gallery from a membership website. It is just like how clicking adds gives money to the person hosting the add. If you click on free porn, the free porn website makes money.
Again, many struggle with this sin. The truth about it is harsh. However, you can either accept the truth and fight this sin or you can reject the truth and fight this sin. Rationalization never leads to freedom from addictions. Someone who desires to follow God does not make excuses for his sins but, rather, owns up to them. Do not try to justify yourself.
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christofirst
Guest
Your determination is a good thing! If I can challenge one idea you used, it would be “I am a victim of this sin”. In one way, yes, we are all victims of original sin and the concupiscence that came with it. But to emphasize and to hang on to this one aspect, even with habitual sin and aware of many problems, this can keep us feeling trapped and defeated, instead of hopeful and encouraged. You are never doomed to repeat this, no matter how bad it seems. There is always hope. Keep fighting the good fight!
T
TRH1292
Guest
Listen to your priest. Do what he says. Take him seriously. He is doing this for your good. Do not try and rationalize everything away. This is serious. Christ is serious about forgiving, but you need to be serious about repenting and listening to this priest.
And do not despair.
And do not despair.
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ajecphotos
Guest
Agreed 100% ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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JustSomeone
Guest
I know but there are different priests and different approaches. Some are angry that you can’t get out of sin and some are understanding. Those who get angry don’t understand how hard it is to actually get out of this sin and the impact it has on your life. I will always say that unless you experience something you never really understand it. It’s easy to say “just stop doing it” when you had never been addicted to anything, isn’t it? I know it is. I’ve been like that before. People act “holier than thou” by saying “jus don’t do it, what’s the problem?” but they never even had a problem with that particular sin. It’s easy to judge others and order them around when you’re not in their skin.
And of course I don’t mean you, in particular. It’s just easy to write when I put “you” as a default person
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ajecphotos
Guest
It’s a cross to bear but one you have to beat. Addictions can come in many different forms. We all have one or 2 in some way or another. Pray to God. Ask for guidance.I know but there are different priests and different approaches. Some are angry that you can’t get out of sin and some are understanding. Those who get angry don’t understand how hard it is to actually get out of this sin and the impact it has on your life. I will always say that unless you experience something you never really understand it. It’s easy to say “just stop doing it” when you had never been addicted to anything, isn’t it? I know it is. I’ve been like that before. People act “holier than thou” by saying “jus don’t do it, what’s the problem?” but they never even had a problem with that particular sin. It’s easy to judge others and order them around when you’re not in their skin.
And of course I don’t mean you, in particular. It’s just easy to write when I put “you” as a default person
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ACanthony
Guest
Hi JustSomeone- Be at peace, my friend. Know that those sinners who are sorry for their sins are closer to God than the just men who brag of good works. Christ came specifically for the sinners. I know the battle of pornography/masturbation all too well. I wish I could say I don’t suffer from the problem anymore and I have some magic cure!!! By no means, yet, the problem has for me gone from a daily/weekly problem to a problem I will suffer from once every other month. I have confidence God has given me the grace to not sin anymore, yet if I do fall again, by His strength I know I will be picked up by the Lord.
For me, and I think most people who have had some success (or complete success) with this problem, the answer lies in being proactive. If you keep focusing on when you will sin next, you are not focusing on Christ. Christ rescues us from sin so we can follow Him and focus on Him. During time of temptation, we need to learn to whisper His name. The more we focus on Christ, the less our temptation comes.
There are some practices that have helped me. Daily Mass (if possible), a few weekly visits to Adoration, read spiritual books, and one of the most important ones, pray the Holy Rosary daily. This is almost a new year. Ask the Lord for new strength. Say to Him, “Lord, I have suffered with this problem long enough, and by your help, I know I can do all things through You who gives me strength. It may seem like a tough problem to overcome, but I trust You, Lord, and I am begging You to help me with my purity. May I not just overcome this problem, but may all my thoughts be pure and may I learn to love like you love. Amen.”
Be proactive. The Eucharist transforms us into our Beloved. It is not a magic remedy to help us simply not sin. The Pharisees kept all the rules, remember. The Eucharist changes us into Christ and by fervent prayer, we too can become like Him.
For me, the biggest help was Daily Rosary and when I can Daily Mass/Adoration. The biggest help in Confession that I have ever received was when I was talking about how powerful the addiction is, yet, my Confessor told me, “There is no force on earth stronger than the force of Jesus resurrected.” Remember, we have a God who can move mountains. He has defeated death! Your sins (our sins) can be powerful, yet Christ puts death to shame.
Pray for gentleness as well. Learn to talk gently to yourself. No more fussing around You are not damned to hell. Google Francis De Sales and memorize some of his quotes. He was very gentle with himself. If he ever had a fall he would say, “ok it looks like we made a mistake and we will learn from this next time.” It is pride to think “I am above this sin” and it is also pride to think, “How could I ever have possibly committed this sin?” We sin because we are sinners. Give your troubles to the Blessed Mother in the Holy Rosary and she will lift you up. You will get through this sin. Do you believe in a God who can move mountains? I certainly do my friend.
For me, and I think most people who have had some success (or complete success) with this problem, the answer lies in being proactive. If you keep focusing on when you will sin next, you are not focusing on Christ. Christ rescues us from sin so we can follow Him and focus on Him. During time of temptation, we need to learn to whisper His name. The more we focus on Christ, the less our temptation comes.
There are some practices that have helped me. Daily Mass (if possible), a few weekly visits to Adoration, read spiritual books, and one of the most important ones, pray the Holy Rosary daily. This is almost a new year. Ask the Lord for new strength. Say to Him, “Lord, I have suffered with this problem long enough, and by your help, I know I can do all things through You who gives me strength. It may seem like a tough problem to overcome, but I trust You, Lord, and I am begging You to help me with my purity. May I not just overcome this problem, but may all my thoughts be pure and may I learn to love like you love. Amen.”
Be proactive. The Eucharist transforms us into our Beloved. It is not a magic remedy to help us simply not sin. The Pharisees kept all the rules, remember. The Eucharist changes us into Christ and by fervent prayer, we too can become like Him.
For me, the biggest help was Daily Rosary and when I can Daily Mass/Adoration. The biggest help in Confession that I have ever received was when I was talking about how powerful the addiction is, yet, my Confessor told me, “There is no force on earth stronger than the force of Jesus resurrected.” Remember, we have a God who can move mountains. He has defeated death! Your sins (our sins) can be powerful, yet Christ puts death to shame.
Pray for gentleness as well. Learn to talk gently to yourself. No more fussing around
You are not damned to hell. Google Francis De Sales and memorize some of his quotes. He was very gentle with himself. If he ever had a fall he would say, “ok it looks like we made a mistake and we will learn from this next time.” It is pride to think “I am above this sin” and it is also pride to think, “How could I ever have possibly committed this sin?” We sin because we are sinners. Give your troubles to the Blessed Mother in the Holy Rosary and she will lift you up. You will get through this sin. Do you believe in a God who can move mountains? I certainly do my friend.
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moonlight87
Guest
I have to agree with the person that suggests that if you can’t get a proper software to block porn, you should consider getting rid of your computer…
I don’t know if it is possible for you, but personally I haven’t had an internet connection at my own apartment for about a year (for financial reasons). twice a week I brought my laptop to Starbuck. I found that after a while, I didn’t miss my internet connection anymore, and I tended to read spiritual books instead, which I never did when I had an internet connection. Also it prevented me from becoming isolated in my house, instead I met very nice people at Starbucks (No I do not try to promote them).
I don’t know if it is possible for you, but personally I haven’t had an internet connection at my own apartment for about a year (for financial reasons). twice a week I brought my laptop to Starbuck. I found that after a while, I didn’t miss my internet connection anymore, and I tended to read spiritual books instead, which I never did when I had an internet connection. Also it prevented me from becoming isolated in my house, instead I met very nice people at Starbucks (No I do not try to promote them).
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DMC12
Guest
look man, first of all, those persons are guilty, some at diferent degrees, some of them could even be inocent, like if they were forced. but many are guilty. so dont think that we say its all your fault, since most likely it isn’t.
yet we can’t say it is not your fault, there are sites that are kept alive by advertising, so by just going there you are actually giving them money.
now, about the Priest, he did good at telling you that, and by you wount be able to take the Eucharisty, he is right, since if you do it, you will be in mortal sin state, but don’t fear an excomunication, since watching porn usually is not material for that, read about excomunication.
now my main advice is that you go again with that Priest and talk about all this, even ask him for help, i think this is just a big misunderstanding, of course what you are doing is grave, therefore it is a mortal sin (yet i am not the one who can know this for your case, but normally it is), hence he must tell you all that, but that is diferent from you being unable to confess, specially since it is an adiction.
yet we can’t say it is not your fault, there are sites that are kept alive by advertising, so by just going there you are actually giving them money.
now, about the Priest, he did good at telling you that, and by you wount be able to take the Eucharisty, he is right, since if you do it, you will be in mortal sin state, but don’t fear an excomunication, since watching porn usually is not material for that, read about excomunication.
now my main advice is that you go again with that Priest and talk about all this, even ask him for help, i think this is just a big misunderstanding, of course what you are doing is grave, therefore it is a mortal sin (yet i am not the one who can know this for your case, but normally it is), hence he must tell you all that, but that is diferent from you being unable to confess, specially since it is an adiction.
No one is bound to the imposible, if you are doing your best, then you cant do anything more,now i dont mean to sound rude or saying you are not really trying, but i think there are things you could do also, dont feel bad about this, we are not infallible neither do we have all the knowledge so there are stuff that we might have not considered.
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Catholic4Jesus
Guest
Hey. Praise God for your willingness to end your sin. I recently went through a similar problem about a month ago. Check out my thread “The ‘Unpardonable’ Confession?” I had just gotten addicted to pornography recently and I confessed to a very elderly priest whom I’ve never even met. After I got done confessing, he started yelling and screaming at me telling me I’ll only get worse and to turn off the internet. He asked me, “You need to stop this sin boy. And why is that?” I said, “Because this is not how a Christian man is supposed to live and I want to stop.” He said, “Boy you’re way off. You need to stop because you need to say the Act of Contrition. You’re going to make a promise to God to amend your life and if you lie to Him, we’ll you’re just hurting yourself even more. I don’t think you’re truly sorry. You’ll just go home and do it again. I know you will! You need to get your **** together boy! Turn off that internet! Now what are you going to do to stop this habitual sin?” I said, “I’ll turn away from sin and I’ll take my problems to our Lord and Lady and trust in them…” He then interrupted me and said, “Nope! Wrong again! You’re gonna stop doing it, that’s what you’ll do! Praying aint gonna solve nothing!” He was very temperamental and I’ve been petrified of going back to confession since. I have been overcoming my addiction one day at a time but I figured after that confession, "Well he said I’ll just continue and since I have no hope of recovering or receiving any hope of support from priests to end my addiction. Why stop? I ask you to kep me in your prayers as you are in mine.
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Cricket2
Guest
One of those replying to the OP mentioned a Priest yelling at them during Confession. This is wrong and I would report this behavior to the Bishop or someone in charge of Priest behavior and discipline.
As for stopping a mortal sin as the one mentioned. It really could help to get rid of the sources through which a person is put in contact with porn, but the real help will occur if the person figures out the root of this attraction.
I would suggest certainly avoiding sources of porn and replacing some other healthy activity with that. Use a simple walk to the park, or for a mile or two whenever the temptation arises, or read a good spiritual book about the Saints. In other words replace the bad habit with a good one. Just an idea. You could even try to look for movies that have spiritual focus.
As for stopping a mortal sin as the one mentioned. It really could help to get rid of the sources through which a person is put in contact with porn, but the real help will occur if the person figures out the root of this attraction.
I would suggest certainly avoiding sources of porn and replacing some other healthy activity with that. Use a simple walk to the park, or for a mile or two whenever the temptation arises, or read a good spiritual book about the Saints. In other words replace the bad habit with a good one. Just an idea. You could even try to look for movies that have spiritual focus.
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