Recently Came Back To the Church but feeling out of place

[Anthony2112]

I recently came back to the Church after a 25 year detour into Evangelicalism as a young person. I was confirmed Catholic when I was 16 but became a “born again” Christian when I was 17. I think if the Priest who was teaching my confirmation class had done a better job teaching some Catholic Apologetics I may not have detoured, but that’s another topic.

Some observations and I would like some advice…When I went to my first confession after a long time (10 years) I had a lot to confess and I forgot how to properly confess…the Priest did a very fine job of leading me through the ten commandments and it took some time…but there was a long line and when I emerged about 15-20 minutes after going in the the confessional, I could not help but notice almost everyone staring at me…

I sometimes feel out of place going back to mass, a lot of the litergy has changed in the years I’ve been away…so I don’t always know the right thing to say…so I am quiet a lot. It makes me feel like a bad catholic.

I also feel that all the bowing and genuflecting is very unnatural for me, I don’t recall being taught to do that. When I walk into the church I don’t bow and it feels awkward. Sometimes I feel out of place. What should I do?

I am looking for thoughtful answers and advice. Please don’t tell me to pray about it, I spent a long time praying about coming back to the Church.

 

[chero23]

I recently came back to the Church after a 25 year detour into Evangelicalism as a young person. I was confirmed Catholic when I was 16 but became a “born again” Christian when I was 17. I think if the Priest who was teaching my confirmation class had done a better job teaching some Catholic Apologetics I may not have detoured, but that’s another topic.

Some observations and I would like some advice…When I went to my first confession after a long time (10 years) I had a lot to confess and I forgot how to properly confess…the Priest did a very fine job of leading me through the ten commandments and it took some time…but there was a long line and when I emerged about 15-20 minutes after going in the the confessional, I could not help but notice almost everyone staring at me…

I sometimes feel out of place going back to mass, a lot of the litergy has changed in the years I’ve been away…so I don’t always know the right thing to say…so I am quiet a lot. It makes me feel like a bad catholic.

I also feel that all the bowing and genuflecting is very unnatural for me, I don’t recall being taught to do that. When I walk into the church I don’t bow and it feels awkward. Sometimes I feel out of place. What should I do?

I am looking for thoughtful answers and advice. Please don’t tell me to pray about it, I spent a long time praying about coming back to the Church.

It takes time. If you go back to confession and it takes 15-20 minutes like last time, call the priest and set up a time and set up a confession with him.

There ask the priest about the genuflecting.

About apologetics at the bottom of post I made a book with a lot of Catholic teachings and Protestant objections. Click on it and read it. It will help you out.

 

[utah_rose]

I know just how you feel. I was out of the Church for 25 years, and I felt awkward too since a lot had changed. It takes a little time to get used too. But, soon it will become a habit. I’d also try to get involved in parish activities perhaps being a lector, going to coffee after church so you can meet other parishioners or some other activities. I felt out of place and it took me months! Luckily though our parish is pretty friendly and once I got to know people it was easier. More people than you know about have come back and have the same thoughts. Welcome home!

 

[Anthony2112]

It takes time. If you go back to confession and it takes 15-20 minutes like last time, call the priest and set up a time and set up a confession with him.

There ask the priest about the genuflecting.

About apologetics at the bottom of post I made a book with a lot of Catholic teachings and Protestant objections. Click on it and read it. It will help you out.

I have no problem with Catholic theology, it’s just that the liturgy seems a bit foreign to me after informal Baptist worship.

In regards to long confessions, it takes a while to remember ten years of sins. I won’t go another ten years again.

 

[Anthony2112]

I know just how you feel. I was out of the Church for 25 years, and I felt awkward too since a lot had changed. It takes a little time to get used too. But, soon it will become a habit. I’d also try to get involved in parish activities perhaps being a lector, going to coffee after church so you can meet other parishioners or some other activities. I felt out of place and it took me months! Luckily though our parish is pretty friendly and once I got to know people it was easier. More people than you know about have come back and have the same thoughts. Welcome home!

Thanks. I am glad I am not alone.

 

[tawny]

Welcome home. Please do not feel out of place in God’s house, you belong there. The more often you attend Mass the more comfortable you will become. Just remember God loves you & welcomes you home with loving arms. He’s happy to see you back home. God bless.

 

[JurisPrudens]

I recently came back to the Church after a 25 year detour into Evangelicalism as a young person. I was confirmed Catholic when I was 16 but became a “born again” Christian when I was 17. I think if the Priest who was teaching my confirmation class had done a better job teaching some Catholic Apologetics I may not have detoured, but that’s another topic.

Some observations and I would like some advice…When I went to my first confession after a long time (10 years) I had a lot to confess and I forgot how to properly confess…the Priest did a very fine job of leading me through the ten commandments and it took some time…but there was a long line and when I emerged about 15-20 minutes after going in the the confessional, I could not help but notice almost everyone staring at me…

I sometimes feel out of place going back to mass, a lot of the litergy has changed in the years I’ve been away…so I don’t always know the right thing to say…so I am quiet a lot. It makes me feel like a bad catholic.

I also feel that all the bowing and genuflecting is very unnatural for me, I don’t recall being taught to do that. When I walk into the church I don’t bow and it feels awkward. Sometimes I feel out of place. What should I do?

I am looking for thoughtful answers and advice. Please don’t tell me to pray about it, I spent a long time praying about coming back to the Church.

Glad to hear! :hug3:

Don’t care about the people staring at You! No one of them is worthy of judging You!

 

[TimothyH]

Feeling out of place and feeling self conscious are subtle forms of pride. The focus is on you and how you feel and whether everyone in the line is looking at you.

Forget about that. Forget about yourself. Find a need and fill it. Pick up a bulletin, look for a ministry in need and get busy. Get to work building the Kingdom of God. Help others and help the Church. That’s what’s needed, and you will feel good about yourself as a bonus.

-Tim-

 

[Anthony2112]

Feeling out of place and feeling self conscious are subtle forms of pride. The focus is on you and how you feel and whether everyone in the line is looking at you.

Forget about that. Forget about yourself. Find a need and fill it. Pick up a bulletin, look for a ministry in need and get busy. Get to work building the Kingdom of God. Help others and help the Church. That’s what’s needed, and you will feel good about yourself as a bonus.

-Tim-

thanks, easier said than done.

How we feel is part of our worship. Saint Augustine thought about himself a lot. A lot about himself in context of worshiping God. He intellectually converted before he did it with his heart.

 

[ProVobis]

Feeling out of place and feeling self conscious are subtle forms of pride. The focus is on you and how you feel and whether everyone in the line is looking at you.

Disagree strongly.

Have you seen that Peter Pan commercial where he taunts everyone at some class reunion because he’s managed to keep himself so young looking? That’s pride alright but it’s on the other side.

 

[petra22]

thanks, easier said than done.

How we feel is part of our worship. Saint Augustine thought about himself a lot. A lot about himself in context of worshiping God. He intellectually converted before he did it with his heart.

Welcome back. My only suggestion is that you sit close to the front. Closer to Jesus in the tabernacle. Imagine the altar being filled to the brim with angels and saints… they are there for every sacrifice of the Mass. You will get used to all the standing and sitting and kneeling again. It’s really different at the church I can go to because we didn’t have kneelers for a long time, so everyone was doing the best they could. Some of us still look around like what do we do now? Hang in there, you will be an “old hat” before you know it. but really, stay close to Jesus…

 

[TimothyH]

thanks, easier said than done.

How we feel is part of our worship. Saint Augustine thought about himself a lot. A lot about himself in context of worshiping God. He intellectually converted before he did it with his heart.

You are right, it is easier said than done.

I still recommend that you find something that gets you beyond yourself, something that helps other people. The more needy they are the better. You will forget about your own troubles and discomfort very quickly.

The first step is the most difficult.

-Tim-

 

[Anthony2112]

You are right, it is easier said than done.

I still recommend that you find something that gets you beyond yourself, something that helps other people. The more needy they are the better. You will forget about your own troubles and discomfort very quickly.

The first step is the most difficult.

-Tim-

I have offered. I am an attorney and I let the pastor know I would be willing to help the poor in the parish with their legal problems.

 

[jaimeleglise]

Welcome back. Buy a missal and read the readings before going to Mass. If you have lots of questions you can purchase a Catechism, see a priest or attend RCIA for a refresher. We are here to help, too. In no time at all, sit stand and kneel become second nature.

You stand at the opening prayers until the first reading. You sit for the first, second readings and responsorial psalms. You stand for the Alleluia and the gospel. You sit for the sermon or homily, etc.

You could write it down if you wish.

 

[Adonia]

I recently came back to the Church after a 25 year detour into Evangelicalism as a young person. I was confirmed Catholic when I was 16 but became a “born again” Christian when I was 17. I think if the Priest who was teaching my confirmation class had done a better job teaching some Catholic Apologetics I may not have detoured, but that’s another topic.

Some observations and I would like some advice…When I went to my first confession after a long time (10 years) I had a lot to confess and I forgot how to properly confess…the Priest did a very fine job of leading me through the ten commandments and it took some time…but there was a long line and when I emerged about 15-20 minutes after going in the the confessional, I could not help but notice almost everyone staring at me…

I sometimes feel out of place going back to mass, a lot of the litergy has changed in the years I’ve been away…so I don’t always know the right thing to say…so I am quiet a lot. It makes me feel like a bad catholic.

I also feel that all the bowing and genuflecting is very unnatural for me, I don’t recall being taught to do that. When I walk into the church I don’t bow and it feels awkward. Sometimes I feel out of place. What should I do?

I am looking for thoughtful answers and advice. Please don’t tell me to pray about it, I spent a long time praying about coming back to the Church.

When I returned to the Church after a long time, my first confession in many years was a godsend. It was me and the priest face to face and I felt wonderful after it and since I had a private appointment, no one else was there. Hey look, those that were staring at you are sinners too - so don’t sweat this experience.

Mass has become the thing most dear to me, especially receiving Our Lord in the Eucharist. We bow and kneel to show respect to Jesus who is right in each and every Catholic Church in the Tabernacle and one should never feel awkward or out of place doing those things and I think that with time this awkwardness will go away.

You have got to remember that coming from where you have been and where you are now are two different worlds. Sometimes I attend Baptist services at truck stops when I cannot get to a Catholic Church and while I love hearing the word of God preached, there is no comparison between the two worship services.

I am glad you have returned to the faith so just hang in there and at a certain point you will wonder how you could have ever gone anywhere else.

 

[phil19034]

I have offered. I am an attorney and I let the pastor know I would be willing to help the poor in the parish with their legal problems.

I was a way for 20+ years. It took me a while to feel at home too. So I just sat in the second row during mass, got to know the priests, and attended adult faith classes and joined a ministry. Overtime, I’ve gotten to know people.

One of the downtown parishes near me has a “Catholic Lawyers” group. It’s only open to lawyers from any parish. If you don’t have one in your area, perhaps you could start one. Open it up to all J.D.s and Canon Lawyers. If you like, you could also open it to law firm staff too.

The main goal is to pray and also to discuss how to continue practicing law while being Faithful at the sametime. Opening it up to legal staff allows them a way to discuss how to deal with a profession that is becoming very anti Catholic (at least with liberal firms)

God Bless and welcome home.

 

[808Catholic]

I recently came back to the Church after a 25 year detour into Evangelicalism as a young person. I was confirmed Catholic when I was 16 but became a “born again” Christian when I was 17. I think if the Priest who was teaching my confirmation class had done a better job teaching some Catholic Apologetics I may not have detoured, but that’s another topic.

Some observations and I would like some advice…When I went to my first confession after a long time (10 years) I had a lot to confess and I forgot how to properly confess…the Priest did a very fine job of leading me through the ten commandments and it took some time…but there was a long line and when I emerged about 15-20 minutes after going in the the confessional, I could not help but notice almost everyone staring at me…

I sometimes feel out of place going back to mass, a lot of the litergy has changed in the years I’ve been away…so I don’t always know the right thing to say…so I am quiet a lot. It makes me feel like a bad catholic.

I also feel that all the bowing and genuflecting is very unnatural for me, I don’t recall being taught to do that. When I walk into the church I don’t bow and it feels awkward. Sometimes I feel out of place. What should I do?

I am looking for thoughtful answers and advice. Please don’t tell me to pray about it, I spent a long time praying about coming back to the Church.

First off: WELCOME HOME! Your journey is similar to many others in the Catholic Church so we understand.

If you’ve been away from anything for a long period, there’s a readjusting period. It takes time like golf. If you don’t work on every aspect of your game pretty much every day, it will seem familiar and strange at the same time until you get your groove back. That’s normal in golf and Catholicism. You probably remember 80% of the Mass but feel awkward about the 20%. Keep working on the parts that seem “weird” now and it will feel more natural later.

To genuflect or bow or just walk in? Very common question. If the Holy Eucharist is present in the space, it is preferred that you genuflect because you are in the presence of Christ. Whether the Holy Eucharist is present can be identified by a lit candle near the Tabernacle where the priest stores the container of consecrated (blessed) hosts. (BTW that container is called the ciborium if you’re wondering). Once the host are blessed and have transubstantiated into the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ, His Flesh and Blood, They are considered holy and IS GOD by Catholic belief and doctrine so we genuflect (bend one knee until it touches lightly upon the ground).

Sometimes the Holy Eucharist is located in another part of the Church, say a chapel off to the side of the main sanctuary, then it is preferred that you bow towards the crucifix as a sign of reverence to Him Who sacrificed Himself for the sake of the world.

If you are entering a space attached to the main sanctuary but not containing a crucifix or holy objects, say like an office space, you just walk in.

WRT to the Mass and what to say and when, there’s usually a Missal or Order of Worship that is provide in the pew or near the entrance. If not, you might ask one of the ushers or hospitality ministers where you might find one. I carry a monthly reader that has all the Mass readings (First Reading, Responsorial, Second Reading, Gospel Reading) as well as the Order of the Mass. It’s called Give Us This Day and available as an annual subscription. This is how I keep up with the priest/celebrant during the entire year including daily Masses.

The Catholic faith is so deep and rich with theology, Christology, and Biblical study, I’m still amazed after all these years of study. I pray you find it just as comforting and satisfying as I do. God bless and, again, welcome home.

 

[TimothyH]

I have offered. I am an attorney and I let the pastor know I would be willing to help the poor in the parish with their legal problems.

Or help at a homeless shelter or hospice, or St Vincent de Paul, or volunteer at a hospital.

Become an usher, reader, join the choir…

It doesn’t have to be in the legal field. I’m sure you do other things well. It doesn’t even have to involve the Church.

-Tim-

 

[PJM]

I recently came back to the Church after a 25 year detour into Evangelicalism as a young person. I was confirmed Catholic when I was 16 but became a “born again” Christian when I was 17. I think if the Priest who was teaching my confirmation class had done a better job teaching some Catholic Apologetics I may not have detoured, but that’s another topic

First of all WELCOME HOME:thumbsup:

You can know that you did the right thing because

There is BUT 1 True God The 1st Commandment

Who though Jesus Established a New Faith {set of faith beliefs} Eph. 4: 1-7 & Mt 28:19-20

& Just as Yahweh had only One “Chosen people”; Jesus too choose just one which He termed : “MY Church” Mt 16:18

So you ARE where God expects you to be

Some observations and I would like some advice…When I went to my first confession after a long time (10 years) I had a lot to confess and I forgot how to properly confess…the Priest did a very fine job of leading me through the ten commandments and it took some time…but there was a long line and when I emerged about 15-20 minutes after going in the the confessional, I could not help but notice almost everyone staring at me

Yea, sadly I can see that happening… I’m truly sorry you experienced that.

I sometimes feel out of place going back to mass, a lot of the litergy has changed in the years I’ve been away…so I don’t always know the right thing to say…so I am quiet a lot. It makes me feel like a bad catholic

I’ve been teaching our Catholic Faith for nearly 30 years; and the past 10 or so beginning with 3 yrs in RCIA, and later with a FREE HOME Study E-mailed course, have been blessed to share our Catholic Faith with a great many Christians seeking more information of our Faith.

One of the most common areas of MAJOR-adjustment is in Protestant worship services compared to Catholic Mass.

1st the <Mass is far more structured [identifiable as The Mass, anywhere in the world.]

And YES if your speaking of pre-Vatican II & post Vatican II Sacred Liturgy there ARE a great many difference in PRACTICES; NONE in Doctrine.

Because we Catholics Do HAVE Jesus {God: literally} in our midst; GOD then is the focus of our Mass…All we do {or ought to} evolves around Jesus really being in our Midst; & not only the HS.

Non-Catholic-Christians miss this and there fore THEY become an extremely important element and influence of their worship-services.

I also feel that all the bowing and genuflecting is very unnatural for me, I don’t recall being taught to do that. When I walk into the church I don’t bow and it feels awkward. Sometimes I feel out of place. What should I do?

IF there is {GOD WILLING!} a Tabernacle in the main body of the Church {Ideally behind the front altar}; then we are obligated IF we are physically able to do so; to Genuflect before entering into the pew.

Romans 14:11
For it is written: As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God

Catholic Mass is ALL about our personal encounter with our God. This is a TRUE “face to face” encounter; and God deserves NOTHING Less. Pay particular and very close attention to the period at Mass that we call the Consecration. LISTEN closely tot he words and take careful NOTE of the actions. NONE of this is possible outside of the Catholic & Orthodox churches…

Old "habits’ die hard; & New habits take time to be formed into GOOD-habits.

Fellowship, a hallmark of Protestant services is relegated, and properly so, to secondary positions; and commonly outside of the Mass. That takes some getting use too. BUT being in the actual and REAL Presence of God is worth any and ALL sacrifices.

Until you become again adjusted, you may consider staying towards the rear of Church. It might make you less self-conscience.

Arrive a ew moments early and ASK GOD the HS to assist you and to be with you and guide you. Amen!

Welcome home friend,

God Bless you & look for a private message from me

Patrick [PJM]

I am looking for thoughtful answers and advice. Please don’t tell me to pray about it, I spent a long time praying about coming back to the Church.

 

[PJM]

I recently came back to the Church after a 25 year detour into Evangelicalism as a young person. I was confirmed Catholic when I was 16 but became a “born again” Christian when I was 17. I think if the Priest who was teaching my confirmation class had done a better job teaching some Catholic Apologetics I may not have detoured, but that’s another topic.

Some observations and I would like some advice…When I went to my first confession after a long time (10 years) I had a lot to confess and I forgot how to properly confess…the Priest did a very fine job of leading me through the ten commandments and it took some time…but there was a long line and when I emerged about 15-20 minutes after going in the the confessional, I could not help but notice almost everyone staring at me…

I sometimes feel out of place going back to mass, a lot of the litergy has changed in the years I’ve been away…so I don’t always know the right thing to say…so I am quiet a lot. It makes me feel like a bad catholic.

I also feel that all the bowing and genuflecting is very unnatural for me, I don’t recall being taught to do that. When I walk into the church I don’t bow and it feels awkward. Sometimes I feel out of place. What should I do?

I am looking for thoughtful answers and advice. Please don’t tell me to pray about it, I spent a long time praying about coming back to the Church.

Anthony, here are a couple of sites that you may wish to check out about Mass Postures and Gestures

**http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?id=516

adoremus.org/0210HHHitchcock.html

cuf.org/2006/01/postures-and-gestures-during-the-mass/**

These my friend might add a touch of sanity and logic to your Mass attendance.
God Bless you,

Patrick [PJM]