Reception eligibility quetioned by Priest

[virtueseeking]

A convert of about 3 years told me a Priest questioned whether they were eligible to receive the Blessed Sacrament at a Mass sometime ago. This was not the Parish Priest but a visiting one. They were quite irate as to why he would question such a thing. I tried my best to explain that it is the Priest’s responsibility to be certain that those whom are receiving are eligible, and that he must have observed something that made him seek clarification.

This person insisted there was nothing for the Priest to question. They made it perfectly clear that they know they performed the reception correctly. I insisted that there had to be something that made him doubt their eligibility and that the Priest knew better. They claimed that he had an ulterior motive. I asked as to why they would think such a thing. They put it as the Priest had no business questioning them. I was so appalled I just ended the conversation. They weren’t even interested in what it may have been that sent up red flags to the Priest so this will not happen again.

There are other issues with this particular convert that has come to light which I will not go into, but such “pride” being displayed concerning the Eucharist frightens me, and the attitude towards this Priest and me as well. I do not like to go round and round concerning the teachings of the Church, I am not there to convince people, either you accept the truth or you don’t. I am quite distressed that I was their sponsor, only because I was involved with RCIA at the time they professed. I feel I am being seriously tested. I for sometime avoided them, for other issues. Should I do so again? :banghead:

blessings

 

[Corki]

After the person has been received into the Church, your role as sponsor changes. While it is great that he/she is still coming to you for guidance, your role now is to help him/her grow in the faith, not to be an “answer man” for everything Catholic. If he/she has a question or concern about something that happened with a visiting priest, he/she needs to speak to the pastor. All you need to do is point him/her in the right direction.

 

[smallgirl01]

being a convert is hard enough and then having someone superior question if you are good enough is tough. please bare with him. do not aviod him cause if you do so knowingly then that is a sin…as Jesus taught us otherwise.
however find ways to deal with his pride, and show him to grow in the catholic faith.
we don’t want him back sliding again.
best of luck

 

[JRKH]

With the information given it seems that this person is dealing with some “anger” issues. Yes, pride is involved, but the more immediate question is why this person feels the need to be angry over the matter. He would be better off to let it go and move on.

Have you discussed this with your priest as to why this visiting priest might have felt it necessary to question?

Peace
James

 

[virtueseeking]

After the person has been received into the Church, your role as sponsor changes. While it is great that he/she is still coming to you for guidance, your role now is to help him/her grow in the faith, not to be an “answer man” for everything Catholic. If he/she has a question or concern about something that happened with a visiting priest, he/she needs to speak to the pastor. All you need to do is point him/her in the right direction.

That’s the issue they reject any direction. I won’t go into the methods they use. They would have never mentioned to our Pastor what they said to me. I have no idea what our Pastor may have done if such attitude towards a fellow Priest was displayed.

smallgirl01 Re: Reception eligibility quetioned by Priest

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being a convert is hard enough and then having someone superior question if you are good enough is tough. please bare with him. do not aviod him cause if you do so knowingly then that is a sin…as Jesus taught us otherwise.
however find ways to deal with his pride, and show him to grow in the catholic faith.
we don’t want him back sliding again.
best of luck

Jesus also taught to shake the dirt of those whom choose not to hear from your feet. It is not a sin to refuse to have those whom speak of God’s consecrated in the way this person did in one’s midst. :tsktsk: It is a sacrilege for one to speak of a Priest in such a matter though, of which I most certainly mentioned. The sin would have been for me to have flattened them for the way they spoke of this Priest. I’m not exactly certain of that either.

JRKH Re: Reception eligibility quetioned by Priest

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With the information given it seems that this person is dealing with some “anger” issues. Yes, pride is involved, but the more immediate question is why this person feels the need to be angry over the matter. He would be better off to let it go and move on.

This is where I am. From what they told me and they know “I” know their “methods” and that I do not tolerate embellishment (earlier issues). The Priest just asked if they were a Catholic in full communion, and they answered in the affirmative and he distributed it. That was my point, not to make more of it then what it was. They insisted on saying such things as “How dare he question me” and increased from there. To the point I warned them not to continue to speak of any Priest in such a manner, in my presence.

Have you discussed this with your priest as to why this visiting priest might have felt it necessary to question?

I would not bother my Pastor with something I did not witness.

Having been involved with RCIA on and off for over 30 years and for many years at a time, I am aware of the spiritual battle they suffer and that it can continue for years. I have read some wonderful and eye opening material.

The thing that bothered me was the attitude about the Blessed Sacrament. That it was their “right ”. I was actually taken aback with the severe lack of humility. They didn’t even seem to want to find and correct the reason. The Priest was wrong, I was wrong for not agreeing the Priest was wrong, etc.

 

[JRKH]

The thing that bothered me was the attitude about the Blessed Sacrament. That it was their “right ”. I was actually taken aback with the severe lack of humility. They didn’t even seem to want to find and correct the reason. The Priest was wrong, I was wrong for not agreeing the Priest was wrong, etc.

Yes it sounds like there is little you can do. This person needs to be knocked down a notch or two but that will need to come from the Holy Spirit. About all you can do is what you have already done.

Just one more suggestion - that might be moot, but I’ll make it anyway since we are limited in our ability to express ourselves here…
You might just review how you responded to the person in your tone and body language. Were you "level headed, firm but kind, willing and able to listen, did you seek to calm down the conversation as the other became more agitated?

Please know that I am making no accusation here - none at all…All I am suggesting is that it could be useful (in future situations with him or with others) to “review”, prayerfully, how you might have engaged him differently (or not )

Thank you for standing up for the priest and for the Sacrament. Well Done.

Peace
James

 

[virtueseeking]

Yes it sounds like there is little you can do. This person needs to be knocked down a notch or two but that will need to come from the Holy Spirit. About all you can do is what you have already done.

Just one more suggestion - that might be moot, but I’ll make it anyway since we are limited in our ability to express ourselves here…
You might just review how you responded to the person in your tone and body language. Were you "level headed, firm but kind, willing and able to listen, did you seek to calm down the conversation as the other became more agitated?

Please know that I am making no accusation here - none at all…All I am suggesting is that it could be useful (in future situations with him or with others) to “review”, prayerfully, how you might have engaged him differently (or not )

Thank you for standing up for the priest and for the Sacrament. Well Done.

Peace
James

This person is a “baiter” for lack of a kinder term. I love them dearly and have prayed for them for 3 years, and will continue. I made light of the situation and made it clear that it happens all the time, I have witnessed it numerous times. My “tone” didn’t change until they down right accused the Priest of something I will not put here, and how they got that out of the exchange they told me took place is not possible and would not believe anyway. I told them as much, then left their company with a warning. There is much more to this person, but that is another thread for another day.

Which is why I wonder about avoiding them. Right now I do not feel comfortable in their presence. I just didn’t want to revisit the last avoidance. “I” would never bring this up, but I will not allow this to be made light of by them.

Thanks for the reminder for compassion.:thankyou:

 

[JRKH]

This person is a “baiter” for lack of a kinder term. I love them dearly and have prayed for them for 3 years, and will continue. I made light of the situation and made it clear that it happens all the time, I have witnessed it numerous times. My “tone” didn’t change until they down right accused the Priest of something I will not put here, and how they got that out of the exchange they told me took place is not possible and would not believe anyway. I told them as much, then left their company with a warning. There is much more to this person, but that is another thread for another day.

Which is why I wonder about avoiding them. Right now I do not feel comfortable in their presence. I just didn’t want to revisit the last avoidance. “I” would never bring this up, but I will not allow this to be made light of by them.

Thanks for the reminder for compassion.:thankyou:

Your welcome - perhaps you can do the same for me someday…
I’m glad you were not insulted.

Honestly it’s tough to know just what to do in these kinds of situations, but I suspect that so long as you remain firmly charitable in your responses, he’ll eventually tire of trying to bait you…Baiters are looking for certain responses…Don’t give it to them and they “go away”…

Peace
James

 

[joanofarc2008]

I would write this person an email or letter about what boundaries of your relationship as a sponsor you are comfortable with and what you will discuss and what you won’t. Maybe even some teaching on Christian charity. I would also end it with the suggestion that if the person is not happy with those boundaries that seek out spiritual direction from a trained spiritual director [insert diocesan resource here] so that they may continue to grow in their relationship with God with less human conflict.

God bless you for trying so hard and for so long.