My advice to you would be to pour your heart out–let it all out–if you are unsure whether it’s sin or not tell that to the priest as well, he will advise you. Tell him just what you’ve told us: “Father, it’s been 40 years since my last confession. I’m a little rusty at this…I’m not sure if some things I’ve done are sin or not. But I want to make a thorough and complete confession”…and then tell him everything that is on your heart–don’t try to keep anything back to spare yourself embarassment–if you do that you will miss the graces of this sacrament–it is so wonderful to know that you have said it all and then to hear those words from Christ, in the person of his priest: “I absolve you of your sins…”
I don’t know the “official” answer, but I can tell you that when I made a “decades overdue” reconcilliation about 20 years ago upon returning to the church, I went through everything… The priest will be able to sort them out better than you can, and as long as he knows you’re confessing 40 years worth in advanced I’m fairly sure he won’t be in a hurry.
Priests have heard it all! Be honest with Father about your medical history, but confess all sins. Father will help put things in perspective. If you are making an appointment with the understanding that it has been this long since your last Confession, I would think he will also offer some spiritual direction and counsel. Pray about it.
you need to confess everything that comes to your mind and recollection after a careful, thorough examination of conscience. Let Jesus and the priest decide what is a sin and what isn’t, and the extent of your intent or guilt. If it is on your mind best to state it for your own peace. yes do mention briefly anything you think has a bearing, such as your diagnosis. Not the backstory, just the facts. There is nothing this priest has not heard before, and Jesus is doing the forgiving and he already knows.
You really, really should make an appointment for this. That will insure that you have the time needed.
Actually, my priest says that he has great respect for those who come to Confession. He is ‘in person Christi’. You are confessing to Christ, who already knows. Several priests have said that one of the graces they are given is that they don’t remember all they hear in the confessional.
That is wonderful! I hope you let us know how you do feel afterwards. You have an appointment with Jesus. Pray for God to help you find the words, and be honest. The priest will help you. It will go just fine. Just think, next week, you can receive Communion! You are in my prayers.
. Nearly chickened out about some of the stuff but sucked it up and said it all. Of course after I was done and we were talking about other things, I’d suddenly remember something. A couple of times… I feel clean inside. A burden has been lifted. Father says that once we have proof of my dh’s baptism that we can get our marriage convalidated. Just waiting for the minister who baptized him to send back the paper stating that fact. Things are coming together. Thanks for all your encouragement.I know what you are talking about, as I recently had my first confession as a 30-something yo, and I was baptized as an infant, so I had 30 years of sins to confess, add to that the fact that I was not raised in the Church, but in a Protestant congregation, so my understanding of sin was rather fuzzy. I went ahead and confessed it all after a thorough examination of conscience and plenty of preparation time through my RCIA class. Even the things I had no idea were sinful, I still confessed it, although the priest told me that such sins were not subjectively sinful in my case, even though they were objectively sins. I asked him if I could go ahead and confess everything anyway, and he said certainly, if it would help me. At the end of reading my page-long list of sins, I was weeping, and could barely say my act of contrition, but I knew I was truly repentant and I felt so free from the grip of my sins afterward. So I would encourage you to go ahead and confess them; the priest has heard it all before, I am sure, and you will feel a sense of closure and peace for having gotten it all off your chest.
I felt this way, too, but you know what? It was wonderful. The priest was so compassionate and encouraging. He was pleased that I had made such a thorough confession. He wanted my first confession to be by appointment, face to face, rather than anonymous in the confessional, because he knew I would need assistance getting through it. He gave me counsel after I finished my confession, and then assigned my penance, and sent me on my way. I see him every week before and after Mass and we always smile and shake hands and there is absolutely no embarassment. And I confessed some things that I was really really ashamed of, too! But like I said in my earlier post, your priest will have heard it all before. And I agree with the other posters that he should be made aware of your medical diagnosis, because context made a difference in how he counsels you.