Reconciliation Question

[Mountain_Man]

I signed up for the Landings program at my local parish after being out of the church for thirty-plus years (I posted some questions about this a few weeks back). One of the priests recently spoke about the need for reconciliation. After our conversation, I left somewhat confused and dismayed.

I told him that I have gone over some examinations of conscience and have prepared some rather lengthy notes on all the sins I can remember since my last confession over thirty years ago. He basically told me to throw them out and ignore any examination of conscience, which he feels are more appropriate for folks who have been active in the church for some time. For people who are returning after a long absence, their conscience as it is currently formed should suffice (a conscience which will develop after their return to the church, hence his belief that the examinations are not suited to returnees like me).

I understand some of his misgivings, that too much focus on the examinations can lead to scrupolisity (is that actually a word?) or get one bogged down in details and past incidents that miss the bigger patterns or causes of sin. All the same, I was hoping to do a one-time-only unloading of a lot of baggage I’ve been carrying around for the last few decades. The examinations strike me as a good way to put in a coherent order the admittedly large number and kinds of sins I’ve committed. I have misgivings about seeing him for my first confession back, and am thinking about making an appointment with one of the other priests (whom I have not met). Hopefully I don’t sound too critical of the priest who spoke with us, he seems a fine fellow overall and his advice is probably good for many people who have been away for a while. It’s just that I’ve put a lot of thought and reflection into preparing for my confession, as well as the fact that I am not a good extemporaneous talker - I like to organize my thoughts when I have to make a presentation, etc. Any advice on this situation would be appreciated.

 

[Bookcat]

You are free to use whatever examinations of conscience that “think with the Church” as they say.

One is obliged to confess all ones mortal sins ( grave matter, committed with full knowledge and complete consent) in number and kind (and circumstance that changes the grave sin --such as it was your brother you murdered or the gold cup you stole was a chalice from Church!).

As to kind --such as adultery, murder, masturbation, buying and using pornography, etc

Number is according to what one knows…so it you know it was 5x one says so. If instead knows that it was around 2-3 times a month for 10 years one says that…sometimes one has to say many x or few x…

Venial sins are good to confess (very recommended) but need not be and need not have numbers…and can be more general in kind.

 

[JamestheOlder]

Dear seeker,

Please do as you yourself have realized, and make an appointment with another priest to give your full confession as you have determined from your examination of conscience.

Here is the appropriate section of the Catechism of the CC which applies, and which the priest should have already known:
scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#1493

Bless you, and welcome home!

 

[George_Stegmeir]

Why not do what I did? I was on death’s door and the Chaplain at the VA hospital offered me a General Absolution so I could receive Holy Communion. I told him that even though I had been away for so many years, I was not comfortable in receiving without Confession.
We started Confession with him enumerating the Commandments and asking if I had sinned against themj. After the second Commandment, I told him “We can do this an easier way. The only Commandment I have not violated many times is that I haven’t killed anyone and I have not participated in Abortion in any way.” I told the Priest I was sorry for my sins and was granted absolution.
If you do it this way, and include the Precepts of the Church, It will suffice and will save you from the dangers of Scrupulosity.
Welcome Home and G*d Bless!

 

[Bookcat]

You are free to use whatever examinations of conscience that “think with the Church” as they say.

One is obliged to confess all ones mortal sins ( grave matter, committed with full knowledge and complete consent) in number and kind (and circumstance that changes the grave sin --such as it was your brother you murdered or the gold cup you stole was a chalice from Church!).

As to kind --such as adultery, murder, masturbation, buying and using pornography, etc

Number is according to what one knows…so it you know it was 5x one says so. If instead knows that it was around 2-3 times a month for 10 years one says that…sometimes one has to say many x or few x…

Venial sins are good to confess (very recommended) but need not be and need not have numbers…and can be more general in kind.

And if one say forgets a mortal sin but intended to confess all ones mortal sins and was contrite etc …they are indirectly absolved. One is though obliged to confess it in the next confession if they one recalls it.

And I will note for general info: If someone is dying and is not able to confess or say is in some disaster and it fits the requirements for the Priest to give absolution without confession --if they survive they are still to confess all their mortal sins (as soon as possible at least in the later case).

 

[Bookcat]

Why not do what I did? I was on death’s door and the Chaplain at the VA hospital offered me a General Absolution so I could receive Holy Communion. I told him that even though I had been away for so many years, I was not comfortable in receiving without Confession.
We started Confession with him enumerating the Commandments and asking if I had sinned against themj. After the second Commandment, I told him “We can do this an easier way. The only Commandment I have not violated many times is that I haven’t killed anyone and I have not participated in Abortion in any way.” I told the Priest I was sorry for my sins and was granted absolution.
If you do it this way, and include the Precepts of the Church, It will suffice and will save you from the dangers of Scrupulosity.
Welcome Home and G*d Bless!

A person in a “dying” situation who is not able to confess their mortal sins fully would be in a very different circumstance than our poster.

Normally we are to confess all our mortal sins in number and kind etc And if one is in such a circumstance where absolution is given without the confession of mortal sins in number and kind (and circumstance that changes it -see above) --one is to still confess all the mortal sins in such manner if one survives.

(though there can be certain cases for example of scrupulosity where the person is may be in a different boat -their confessor can guide them).

 

[Bookcat]

You are free to use whatever examinations of conscience that “think with the Church” as they say.

One is obliged to confess all ones mortal sins ( grave matter, committed with full knowledge and complete consent) in number and kind (and circumstance that changes the grave sin --such as it was your brother you murdered or the gold cup you stole was a chalice from Church!).

As to kind --such as adultery, murder, masturbation, buying and using pornography, etc

Number is according to what one knows…so it you know it was 5x one says so. If instead knows that it was around 2-3 times a month for 10 years one says that…sometimes one has to say many x or few x…

Venial sins are good to confess (very recommended) but need not be and need not have numbers…and can be more general in kind.

And if one say forgets a mortal sin but intended to confess all ones mortal sins and was contrite etc …they are indirectly absolved. One is though obliged to confess it in the next confession if they one recalls it.

And I will note for general info: If someone is dying and is not able to confess or say is in some disaster and it fits the requirements for the Priest to give absolution without confession --if they survive they are still to confess all their mortal sins (as soon as possible at least in the later case).