Reconciliation Question

[john78]

I have been wondering lately, why I do not go to Reconciliation ( confession ) on a regular monthly basis or even weekly…

And I have tried to talk to my Spiritual Director at one point about this topic to some degree in an email, and never had a response so after my paranoia finally stopped about why he never responded I managed to calm down an let everything rest… I fell a while back into becoming scrupulous maybe even border line ocd, and going to confession was becoming something to go to out of sheer panic rather than forgiveness… So I finally snapped out of being scrupulous an ocd… and I guess I went back to being " normal " ( what ever normal is ) . But I started to think why ? Why do I not go on some kind of weekly or monthly basis… Sometimes I realize I just have not committed any kind of sin so thus what am I going to confession for to make a general confession that I have no idea how to make, does one just pop in an acknowledge that he or she is a sinner and leave it be ?

Then for everything else that I can not figure out, is a mix of habits and actual sins… from what I can gather habits do actually count as sins though that seems to be debateable, now for the full blown sins which are no ifs’ about… This is my hangup… Part of me understands that I am forgiven by God, after being absolved, so in theory I should very happy, very thankful. I would say most of the time I am. Then that I guess emotional high wears off for me… I don’t know what else or how else to describe the feeling… and the guilt comes back, basically I can not forgive myself… Eventually I do forget, some things I have done in life I still remember to this very day and honestly do not forgive myself for.

Yet I do not reconfess these issues… Why is it then, that God can forgive me, but I can not forgive myself ? Why does the pain still exist ? Or could it be due to emotional or psychological problems which does not allow me to ? Or is this a form of scrupules ?

It is an odd feeling that does not make sense… To know that something is a fact, but unable to handle that fact.

There has to be a term for it but I can not figure it out nor know how to properly look for it surfing the net… To know something is good, and that everything is okay yet to still feel pain or guilt when none should rationally exist.

 

[George_Stegmeir]

You cannot do everything on your computor! Where Confession/Reconciliation is concerned, it must be done face-to face with a Priest, or in a confessional.
Likewise, making an appointment with a Priest to either confess or discuss such matters.
You have to remember that all Priests are very busy and not “on line” at ones beck and call.
That being said, I suggest that if you don’t have a regular confessor, that you go to your nearest Parish and make an appointment to see a Priest as soon as possible. If you do have a regular confessor, then go to his office and make an appointment with his secretary to see him.
You would do well to take a print-out of your initial message on this subject as a guide for your conversation with the Priest.
Baring your soul about your transgression on the inter-net does not do you much good, as there are very few people who can help you on this or any other site. For this, you need to see a Priest.

 

[john78]

188 views and zero replies, has no one experienced a similar feeling of going to confession only to come out feeling the same guilt as going in ?

I have some thoughts as to why I might be feeling this but am curious if anyone else has had a similiar feeling.

Interesting that this isn’t more interesting and just confusing i guess.

oh well.

 

[larsont7]

188 views and zero replies, has no one experienced a similar feeling of going to confession only to come out feeling the same guilt as going in ?

I have some thoughts as to why I might be feeling this but am curious if anyone else has had a similiar feeling.

Interesting that this isn’t more interesting and just confusing i guess.

oh well.

Going to Confession is not about feelings or emotions, rather an act of the will. It doesn’t matter if you “feel guilty” after leaving as long as you have the intention of confessing all your sins and avoiding them in the future. There are many times I leave the Confessional not feeling any different, and other times I feel like a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. But I always leave knowing that my sins have been forgiven. Thanks be to God that the Church does not base forgiveness off of our emotional state.

Scruples are something you will need to work out with a spiritual director, and if the priest you currently go to does not have the time to meet with you, I would try and search out one who will.

 

[john78]

ty for the reply larson

 

[CB_Catholic]

I have been wondering lately, why I do not go to Reconciliation ( confession ) on a regular monthly basis or even weekly…

And I have tried to talk to my Spiritual Director at one point about this topic to some degree in an email, and never had a response so after my paranoia finally stopped about why he never responded I managed to calm down an let everything rest… I fell a while back into becoming scrupulous maybe even border line ocd, and going to confession was becoming something to go to out of sheer panic rather than forgiveness… So I finally snapped out of being scrupulous an ocd… and I guess I went back to being " normal " ( what ever normal is ) . But I started to think why ? Why do I not go on some kind of weekly or monthly basis… Sometimes I realize I just have not committed any kind of sin so thus what am I going to confession for to make a general confession that I have no idea how to make, does one just pop in an acknowledge that he or she is a sinner and leave it be ?

Then for everything else that I can not figure out, is a mix of habits and actual sins… from what I can gather habits do actually count as sins though that seems to be debateable, now for the full blown sins which are no ifs’ about… This is my hangup… Part of me understands that I am forgiven by God, after being absolved, so in theory I should very happy, very thankful. I would say most of the time I am. Then that I guess emotional high wears off for me… I don’t know what else or how else to describe the feeling… and the guilt comes back, basically I can not forgive myself… Eventually I do forget, some things I have done in life I still remember to this very day and honestly do not forgive myself for.

Yet I do not reconfess these issues… Why is it then, that God can forgive me, but I can not forgive myself ? Why does the pain still exist ? Or could it be due to emotional or psychological problems which does not allow me to ? Or is this a form of scrupules ?

It is an odd feeling that does not make sense… To know that something is a fact, but unable to handle that fact.

There has to be a term for it but I can not figure it out nor know how to properly look for it surfing the net… To know something is good, and that everything is okay yet to still feel pain or guilt when none should rationally exist.

In my very brief studying about OCD and scrupulosity (which is considered a form of OCD by many psychologists), people who suffer from these disorders typically know that what they are doing and thinking is irrational, yet they feel compelled to continue in the behavior or thought process. I don’t know the term for it, if there is one, but it apparently is fairly typical. Does that help to answer your question?

I can share that at one point in my life, when I was in the midst of a severe clinical depression, I experienced obsessive thoughts and guilty feelings that I knew consciously were not rational, yet I was uneasy and anxious if I did not continue with them. They kept me awake all night and contributed to extreme fatigue. Yet I could not stop them. I am in no way saying you are depressed, OCD, or anything, only that what you are experiencing is not unusual, and can be experienced if you are suffering from scrupulous thinking.

 

[MSSheBear]

I have come from Reconciliation with feeling relieved and another time in a bad mood and feeling worse and yet another time wondering why I bothered. I tell myself how I feel is independent of what happened. Is that what the OP means?

I think the Sacrament of Reconciliation has been marketed to parishioners as something to make them feel good so they will actually show up. That is just a feeling I have gotten. I am glad I went the last time when I spent the next few weeks feeling guilty afterwards. But the experience wasn’t pleasant.

 

[detoutcoeur]

I have come from Reconciliation with feeling relieved and another time in a bad mood and feeling worse and yet another time wondering why I bothered. I tell myself how I feel is independent of what happened. Is that what the OP means?

I think the Sacrament of Reconciliation has been marketed to parishioners as something to make them feel good so they will actually show up. That is just a feeling I have gotten. I am glad I went the last time when I spent the next few weeks feeling guilty afterwards. But the experience wasn’t pleasant.

Please be more respectful. Using a term such as “marketed” in connection with the sacraments of the Church is irreverent and entirely out of place. As the Catechism states: **"**The sacraments are efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church, by which divine life is dispensed to us" (1131)
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s1c1a2.htm#1114

 

[bluemary]

It isn’t unusual to feel remorse for your sins, even after confession. A person that feels remorse for having committed a sin shows that they realize the harm they have caused from that sin.
If possible, do something positive in addition to the penance the priest gives you. Repair to the best of your ability any damage you’ve done to another. You may want to do this in secret, so as to not draw attention to yourself. If you can’t repair the damage done, then try to do a good act. This might help you feel better.
If you still feel tremendous remorse to an unusual level, and you feel this after every confession, you might consider the possibility that you need a priest to pray for deliverance of an oppressing spirit. Every diocese has at least one priest that can do this.
That priest is also trained to consider whether it is medically caused.
I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Joannm]

Please be more respectful. Using a term such as “marketed” in connection with the sacraments of the Church is irreverent and entirely out of place. As the Catechism states: **"**The sacraments are efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church, by which divine life is dispensed to us" (1131)
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s1c1a2.htm#1114

I don’t think the poster meant to be irreverent. I too have heard confession “marketed.” “Cpme to confession you will feel so good after.” “You will feel washed clean.” “You will feel like a new person.” How many times have you heard things like this? Well what if a person does not feel that way as the OP stated. In this age of insufficient catechesis how many Catholics even know what Grace is? People today are told things are all about feelings in the secular world and in the Church. That is marketing even if you don’t like the term. Anytime you tell someone that they will get something that is marketing. Look at the videos put out by Catholics Come Home. That employs marketing techniques. We live in a consumerist culture and it has even shown up in the Church unfortunately.

 

[Paul_Goosekeepe]

I have been wondering lately, why I do not go to Reconciliation ( confession ) on a regular monthly basis or even weekly…

And I have tried to talk to my Spiritual Director at one point about this topic to some degree in an email, and never had a response so after my paranoia finally stopped about why he never responded I managed to calm down an let everything rest… I fell a while back into becoming scrupulous maybe even border line ocd, and going to confession was becoming something to go to out of sheer panic rather than forgiveness… So I finally snapped out of being scrupulous an ocd… and I guess I went back to being " normal " ( what ever normal is ) . But I started to think why ? Why do I not go on some kind of weekly or monthly basis… Sometimes I realize I just have not committed any kind of sin so thus what am I going to confession for to make a general confession that I have no idea how to make, does one just pop in an acknowledge that he or she is a sinner and leave it be ?

Then for everything else that I can not figure out, is a mix of habits and actual sins… from what I can gather habits do actually count as sins though that seems to be debateable, now for the full blown sins which are no ifs’ about… This is my hangup… Part of me understands that I am forgiven by God, after being absolved, so in theory I should very happy, very thankful. I would say most of the time I am. Then that I guess emotional high wears off for me… I don’t know what else or how else to describe the feeling… and the guilt comes back, basically I can not forgive myself… Eventually I do forget, some things I have done in life I still remember to this very day and honestly do not forgive myself for.

Yet I do not reconfess these issues… Why is it then, that God can forgive me, but I can not forgive myself ? Why does the pain still exist ? Or could it be due to emotional or psychological problems which does not allow me to ? Or is this a form of scrupules ?

It is an odd feeling that does not make sense… To know that something is a fact, but unable to handle that fact.

There has to be a term for it but I can not figure it out nor know how to properly look for it surfing the net… To know something is good, and that everything is okay yet to still feel pain or guilt when none should rationally exist.

I felt something like what you are describing only it was someone was offering me money that I was going to take . A Priest told me in confession that I felt guilty about taking it be cause of all my past sins that I confessed but still felt bad about them. Hope this helps.
ps I’m new to posting questions. I want to ask a ? about confession…Help! [edited] thanks, Paul