Reconciliation - Satisfaction

[sfmatt]

Hello,

I am new to this group. I have a question that has been bothering my for quite some time. It involves the concept of “satisfaction” within the framework of the sacrament of reconciliation. I am ashamed to admit that, in the past, I have committed the grave sin of adultery. I have taken (and continue to take) steps to ensure this does not happen again. I have confessed this sin and received absolution. I love my wife dearly and dread having engaged in such behavior that tears at the fabric of our marriage. She is unaware of this sin. Does the concept of satisfaction mean that I must go to her and seek her forgiveness, since she was the principal human hurt by my actions? I readily admit that I am hoping the answer is “no”, but I am confused. On the one hand, satisfaction entails going to the person you have hurt; on the other hand, I believe it does not necessarily entail the needless (would this be needless?) infliction of pain and hurt.
Many thanks for a response.

 

[Dandelion_Wine]

I have to be honest and say that I can’t speak about ‘satisfaction’ because I’m not 100% sure of the concept.

BUT, with that said, I’ve heard several orthodox priests say that telling your wife would serve no purpose except to hurt her and it is not necessary.

I hope that helps.

You might want to check out the Ask an Apologist section too: forums.catholic-questions.org/forumdisplay.php?f=4

 

[Trident59]

sfmatt,

You say that you’ve been to confession and your sins were absolved. So carry out your penance and let go of it. Turn to God and trust in Him.

 

[Catholic_Dude]

Hello,

I am new to this group. I have a question that has been bothering my for quite some time. It involves the concept of “satisfaction” within the framework of the sacrament of reconciliation. I am ashamed to admit that, in the past, I have committed the grave sin of adultery. I have taken (and continue to take) steps to ensure this does not happen again. I have confessed this sin and received absolution. I love my wife dearly and dread having engaged in such behavior that tears at the fabric of our marriage. She is unaware of this sin. Does the concept of satisfaction mean that I must go to her and seek her forgiveness, since she was the principal human hurt by my actions? I readily admit that I am hoping the answer is “no”, but I am confused. On the one hand, satisfaction entails going to the person you have hurt; on the other hand, I believe it does not necessarily entail the needless (would this be needless?) infliction of pain and hurt.
Many thanks for a response.

What did the priest assign? If he said you must tell her then you must.

 

[JKirkLVNV]

What did the priest assign? If he said you must tell her then you must.

I’m not sure that’s so. I don’t think that the priest can order you to do anything that will take the confession out of the “internal forum” to the “external forum.”

I’ve never heard of ANY priest advising or telling a penitent adulterer that they should inform their spouses. I don’t think the OP should.

To the OP: If you have further questions about this, I would send a PRIVATE email or message to Fr. Vincent Serpa, OP, here at CA. He can help you. I wouldn’t do anything until I talked to him or to a priest you trust.

 

[sfmatt]

Thanks to each of you for your responses. As an FYI, no priest has directed me to tell my spouse – as penance or otherwise. Again, thanks.

 

[baltobetsy]

Thanks to each of you for your responses. As an FYI, no priest has directed me to tell my spouse – as penance or otherwise. Again, thanks.

Then, for heaven’s sake, please don’t. Speaking as a wife, I will tell you that I would not want to know this. How could it possibly be helpful to cause her such pain and sow the seeds of distrust? If you want to make satisfaction, be the best husband you can possibly be and let it go.

Betsy

 

[Like]

Then, for heaven’s sake, please don’t. Speaking as a wife, I will tell you that I would not want to know this. How could it possibly be helpful to cause her such pain and sow the seeds of distrust? If you want to make satisfaction, be the best husband you can possibly be and let it go.

Betsy

sfmatt, Betsy is right IMO.
Bless you Betsy!

 

[Catholic_Dude]

I’m not sure that’s so. I don’t think that the priest can order you to do anything that will take the confession out of the “internal forum” to the “external forum.”

I’ve never heard of ANY priest advising or telling a penitent adulterer that they should inform their spouses. I don’t think the OP should.

To the OP: If you have further questions about this, I would send a PRIVATE email or message to Fr. Vincent Serpa, OP, here at CA. He can help you. I wouldn’t do anything until I talked to him or to a priest you trust.

Yes, you are right, for if I took my conclusion to the next step a criminal would have to turn himself in to the police if he committed a crime if the priest told him to, but my conclusion as you said is not correct.