Reconciliation- what if you aren't truly sorry?

[Tosk]

What about venial sins like downloading music or gluttony? Do you have to be sorry for your venial sins or just the mortal ones?

 

[RosaryFan]

What if you go to confession and you confess a sin which you fully intend on committing again?
Like, take self injury as an example. They confess their sins to the priest, but they don’t plan on not harming themselves anymore. They just confessed it because they know it’s wrong and they shouldn’t be doing it and they don’t want to go to hell. And actually, maybe they feel like hurting themselves once they get home, and it’s already resolved in their mind that they’re never going to stop because they don’t know what to do without it or something. Is it then completely pointless to have confessed the sin in the first place, since you’re going to do it again anyways? And would it then invalidate the rest of your confession, since you weren’t really sorry but were just confessing it since you figure you don’t want to end up in hell, even though you’re probably going there anyways? Would it actually be some sort of double sin, because of the fact that you’re planning on doing it again?
What if the priest specifically says, “And you’re resolved to try as best as you can to not injure yourself again, right?” And then you lie and say, “Yes” because you don’t really want to get into it. Would that actually be like tripling the sin because of the fact you’re going to do it again plus you just lied, in confession no less?? (and actually, going along with this, short tangent-- does a lie count as more if you lie in confession? Like it would’ve been venial but since it’s in confession it’s mortal?)
Would it actually just be simpler to just skip confession instead of heaping even more sins on yourself for trying to go in the first place but not having the intent to stop a certain sin?

Sorry for all the questions and sorry for not being very articulate. 1) it’s almost 2 am and 2) I’m never very articulate anyways. Thanks for any responses.
:harp: ← i’m sticking this in here just 'cause I like it. =]

You are wasting your time if you go to confession and are not sorry and plan on committing the sin again. If there is no contrition, the entire confession is invalid. Padre Pio would have told you to scram and don’t come back until you’re sorry. That said, if the issue at hand truly is inflicting injuries upon oneself, then we’re talking about something altogether different. Psychological and mental health conditions would lessen that person’s accountability for the sin. That person should seek professional help immediately.

 

[Elizabeth502]

Like, you’re sorry you took the cookie from your brother because you got caught and had to clean up your brother’s room, instead of because it offended your mother, your brother, and God, whom you should love?

This is called “imperfect contrition” and for the purposes of confession in the Confessional, it’s fine.

Not quite, but cute try.

More like: definitely sorry for having offended God, but within a different rationale than that set officially by the RCC.

 

[baltobetsy]

What about venial sins like downloading music or gluttony? Do you have to be sorry for your venial sins or just the mortal ones?

Venial sins do not have to be confessed at all. By definition, they do not separate you from God. It is only the mortal sins which must ALL be repented and confessed.

Many people who confess regularly do what is sometimes called the “laundry list” confession where they list a large number of venial sins week after week, and never really intend to stop committing them. It is much better to attack the venial sins one or two at a time. Pick the ones that you really ARE sorry for, confess those, and really make an effort, with the help of the graces of confession, to stop committing them. Then move on to the next ones. That’s the way to make real progress.

It’s never good to confess sins, venial or mortal, without being sorry for them and expect to be forgiven.

Betsy

 

[colliric]

Because of any other sins they ARE repentant for.
And if they don’t confess the sin they’re planning on committing again, they’re withholding a sin which is another sin anyways.

So basically you’re saying so long as they plan on doing that one sin again, regardless of how they feel about their other sins, they’re just in a lose-lose situation and should just give up on reconciliation?

well. no.

this is a bit of a connundrum here.

I guess the confession of the particular sin may be an issue?

 

[peary]

What if you go to confession and you confess a sin which you fully intend on committing again?
Like, take self injury as an example. They confess their sins to the priest, but they don’t plan on not harming themselves anymore. They just confessed it because they know it’s wrong and they shouldn’t be doing it and they don’t want to go to hell. And actually, maybe they feel like hurting themselves once they get home, and it’s already resolved in their mind that they’re never going to stop because they don’t know what to do without it or something. Is it then completely pointless to have confessed the sin in the first place, since you’re going to do it again anyways? And would it then invalidate the rest of your confession, since you weren’t really sorry but were just confessing it since you figure you don’t want to end up in hell, even though you’re probably going there anyways? Would it actually be some sort of double sin, because of the fact that you’re planning on doing it again?
What if the priest specifically says, “And you’re resolved to try as best as you can to not injure yourself again, right?” And then you lie and say, “Yes” because you don’t really want to get into it. Would that actually be like tripling the sin because of the fact you’re going to do it again plus you just lied, in confession no less?? (and actually, going along with this, short tangent-- does a lie count as more if you lie in confession? Like it would’ve been venial but since it’s in confession it’s mortal?)
Would it actually just be simpler to just skip confession instead of heaping even more sins on yourself for trying to go in the first place but not having the intent to stop a certain sin?

Sorry for all the questions and sorry for not being very articulate. 1) it’s almost 2 am and 2) I’m never very articulate anyways. Thanks for any responses.
:harp: ← i’m sticking this in here just 'cause I like it. =]

**This is just my personal opinion:

Self-infliction or self-injury is a form of a behavioral disorder or even mental illness. The ‘sin’ would still be forgiven, but at the point where a person has a ‘need’ for it has turned the behavior in another direction and it now becomes a compulsion or addiction. Confession still imparts grace, and grace has the ability to strengthen the person to get the help he or she needs in such cases. **

 

[georgemiller]

I would like to share the following with you. If you are not truly repentant then you should not go to confession. However, remember Jesus said, repent or perish!

That said, it seems to me that you would not be going to confession if you did not also believe that forgiveness and abundant graces come to you as a result. So, rather than take the position of I intend on doing the same sin again, take the position that going to confession is your way of asking God in a very special way for help with your addiction. Also, ask God to provide you with the grace of true repentance. In so doing, at least make an effort to eliminate or reduce you sinning.

I guess what I am trying to say is, don’t give up!!!
Keep yourself in plentiful prayer, and frequent reception of the sacraments. On your judgment day, you will be able to say to Jesus, "Jesus I talked to you often, I asked for your help often, I did this through much prayer and reception of the sacraments. "

I tend to think that such a person will receive much mercy from Jesus on their Judgement Day. Hope this helps a little, your friend in Christ, george.