reconciliation

[melinda_s]

hi i just had my first confession yesturday though i don’t quite understand it can someone explain it to me and what is a venial sin and what is a mortal sin and what if you forget some thanks in advance

 

[kristie_m]

hi i just had my first confession yesturday though i don’t quite understand it can someone explain it to me and what is a venial sin and what is a mortal sin and what if you forget some thanks in advance

You’ll probably get a lot of responses, but here’s my two cents.

In the sacrament of confession, when you confess to the priest, it’s as if you are confessing to Jesus. Generally you would tell him your sins and the number of times (roughly if you can’t remember exactly) you committed them. Depending on the priest, you might be offered some advice, or they may just give you a pennance and absolve you. The absolution is the BEST!!! That’s when you know that your sins have truly been forgiven and you are clean as the fresh fallen snow!

As far as the difference between a venial and mortal sin…okay…in order for a sin to be mortal, it has to meet three criteria…be a grave offense (such as adultery), you have to KNOW that it is a grave offense, and you have to do it with full consent. For instance, if you are pressured into doing something that you know is a sin, such as having premarital sex, even though you KNOW it’s a grave offense, it might not be a mortal sin for you because you didn’t give full consent. This makes it a somewhat subjective thing, and something should discuss with the priest.

Venial sins are the ones that are maybe not so serious…“gee Father, I lied about why I was late for work today.”

As for forgetting to mention a particular sin…when the priest gives you absolution, it is for ALL of your sins, even the ones that you’ve forgotten. However, it’s a good idea to mention it to the priest at your next confession.

The only time it would not be absolved is if you withheld it deliberately due to embarrassement or whatever.

Congratulations on making your first confession! Don’t be a stranger to it…it’s one of the greatest gifts our Lord gave to His church!

 

[deb_in_MI]

Mortal sin destroys charity. Through mortal sin, a person turns away from God. Venial sin does not destroy charity but wounds and offends it. (cf Catechism 1855 & 1856)

For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must be met:

• the object must be ‘grave matter’
• complete consent
• full knowledge
  For a summary of grave matter you could consult the ten commandments (Exodus 20:2-17) or (Deuteronomy 5:6-21) or Catechism 2052. Full knowledge means that you knew what you were doing was sinful.

Three things should happen in Reconciliation:

• Contrition
• Confession
• Satisfaction (Penance)

First, you must be sorry that you sinned; second you confess those sins to God through the minister of Reconciliation (Priest or Bishop) and then you make satisfaction for the damage caused by sin through a given penance.

The minister of the sacrament will absolve you of all your sins in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Through this absolution, you are ‘reconciled’ with God and ‘neighbor’ or community.

If you forget to mention sins unintentionally, they are still forgiven but should be mentioned at the next confession. If you did not mention sins intentionally then you are not restored to a ‘state of grace’ (Complete friendship with God). You would actually be committing another sin to intentionally leave sins out.

That’s about two or three RCIA classes in five minutes. Hope it helps!!

PAX

 

[melinda_s]

thanks i think i get it one more question how often should i go?

 

[deb_in_MI]

thanks i think i get it one more question how often should i go?

Precept of the Church is once a year if needed. Most of us really need it more than that, eh? (Speaking for myself of course )
I try to get there at least every other month - advice from my Spiritual Director…

Are you new to the Catholic Faith??

:getholy:

 

[kristie_m]

thanks i think i get it one more question how often should i go?

I generally try to go about once a month or more often if I need it. Fortunately my confessor always makes himself available whenever I want to go. Good man!!!

 

[Verbum_Caro]

it’s a good idea to mention it to the priest at your next confession.

deb in MI:

but should be mentioned at the next confession.

Kristie and deb,

Great posts! One small clarification, if you’ll permit it? I believe those forgotten mortal sins *must * be mentioned at your next confession if you remember them.

VC

 

[quiet52]

Hi Melinda,
Are you participating in RCIA?
My first thought while reading your post was “why are you going to Confession before you’re ready?”
Generally, RCIA candidates should be instructed about the sacrament during one of RCIA sessions (and I suggest talk with your RCIA leader or pastor) prior to receiving this sacrament.

 

[deb_in_MI]

Kristie and deb,

Great posts! One small clarification, if you’ll permit it? I believe those forgotten mortal sins *must * be mentioned at your next confession if you remember them.

VC

Yes, I believe that is correct - I stand corrected!!

 

[melinda_s]

Hi Melinda,
Are you participating in RCIA?
My first thought while reading your post was “why are you going to Confession before you’re ready?”
Generally, RCIA candidates should be instructed about the sacrament during one of RCIA sessions (and I suggest talk with your RCIA leader or pastor) prior to receiving this sacrament.

i did my rcia quite a while back but they didn’t get round to reconciliation as we moved towns

 

[FrDavid96]

i did my rcia quite a while back but they didn’t get round to reconciliation as we moved towns

Melinda,

What’s your situation: were you baptised Catholic?

There might be a lot more to this. I would suggest you speak to the priest at your parish and let him know your situation with regard to which Sacraments you have received. (If you’re not already doing that)

 

[kristie_m]

Yes, I believe that is correct - I stand corrected!!

as do I. Thanks for the clarification.

 

[melinda_s]

yes i am baptised maybe i need to make another appointment thanks for all the information

 

[mullenpm]

As to the question of how often a Catholic should go to Confession; please don’t forget about:

First Friday - the benefits of keeping the First Friday devotion are immense;

and,

First Saturday – The Blessed Mother asked for this devotion.

So, if one keeps both the First Friday and First Saturday devotions you would go to Confession once a month.

 

[Ruthie]

How often?

If you have a habitual sin that you struggle with, even if it’s venial, think about going once a week. The Sacrament gives you graces to help fight the sin, so the more often you go, the stronger you get.

Otherwise, go as soon as possible after you realize you have committed a mortal sin.

Other than that, once a year is enough.

You didn’t bring it up, but (just in case you don’t already know), you should not receive the Eucharist if you have any *mortal *sins that haven’t been absolved. But receiving wipes out venial sin.

God bless you,

Ruthie

 

[GodsPrincess]

Please don’t make the same mistake I did. And that was listen to people who tell you that the minimum you need to go to confession is once per year. I finished my RCIA process almost 3 years ago now and a lot of information was “taught” to me though it was misinformation and led me in to a state of mortal sin for two years – that is, taking The Holy Eucharist without being free of mortal sin, knowing innately that my first confession wasn’t ‘good enough’ despite the liberal priest telling me, “I don’t want to know all of your business” and, “once a year is enough at Easter…”

When I made my first TRUE confession which I am ashamed to say was just under one year ago, I had a list that went on for quite some time. I went to a priest who told me the correct things and went through the correct method of reconciliation and he warned me against falling in to the habit of only coming once per year and how it was a misrepresentation of the truth.

You should go to confession ANY time you are in a state of mortal sin. It could be twice a week, three times a week if necessary. At first I was extremely daunted by this, but after the first “real” confession I realised after coming out, being set free with absolution and penance, that it was one of the most important and miraculous gifts of The Holy Catholic Church.

People who go to confession just once a year are in the wrong. No person is sinless and these days it is easy to fall victim to mortal sins… I go to confession rougly two times a month or if I have something weighing me down especially, I will go and talk to said priest about it if I am not sure.

I have this wonderful book that helps me examine my conscience to help me discern whether or not I have committed a venial or mortal sin (however, it’s usually pretty good to get it off your chest regardless)

… Confession is wonderful, as someone who spends a lot of time beating herself up about ridiculous things, and generally being too hard on herself, I see it as a really freeing thing to do especially since I often feel so sorrowful over stupid things that I have done or failed to do. God gives us amazing graces thru confession that all Catholics would be right to embrace as often as needed.

 

[melinda_s]

thanks GodsPrincess that really helped as i’ve been really confused since i finished rcia what is the book you use ?

 

[Seatuck]

thanks GodsPrincess that really helped as i’ve been really confused since i finished rcia what is the book you use ?

Melinda I use this one most of the time. On occaision I will use another that lists the sins in a different way to make sure I am not ignoring anything in particular. I like this one because it helped me to understand the difference between my sins and my imperfect behavior. I was being too hard on myself for a long time.

catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf

 

[GodsPrincess]

I used this at first until someone gave me a little book with very similar information.

scborromeo.org/confess.htm

It breaks each commandment down and I hope that it helps you as it helped me.

 

[Judie]

Melinda I use this one most of the time. On occaision I will use another that lists the sins in a different way to make sure I am not ignoring anything in particular. I like this one because it helped me to understand the difference between my sins and my imperfect behavior. I was being too hard on myself for a long time.

catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf

Thank you for that link. It is VERY helpful for me. I hope it is to the OP as well. I will certainly be much more prepared.