Reconciliation

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ClaytonGarrett

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I am new to the Catholic faith and finishing my RCIA this Easter, along with my 9 year old daughter.

Anyway, I am curious about reconciliation which is one of the two things I discussed with our priest prior to my starting the program.
The other item was the affirmation of my 14 year marriage to my wife, in front of our Catholic community. This will be nothing short of one more blessing.

Reconciliation, however, is another thing. I am 44 years old and have done a lot in my life thus far. I know I sin, I know I will continue to sin, but hope that the forgiveness of my past sins will help me improve upon a life such as it has been.

Anyway, couple quick questions:
  1. After 44 years, what do I focus on first?
  2. After I am forgiven for my sins, how often to I do confession?
 
look at the several threads on confession here which have great links to examination of conscience, or buy a good book on confession, or just look a the 10 commandments and beatitudes and examine your past life based on their counsel. Confess all the sins of your past life at your first confession. The priest will help you.

thereafter, you must confess at least once a year, or more often if you are conscious of mortal sin. It would be someone in an advanced spiritual state of holiness who only needs confession once a year. At the very least confess during Advent and Lent, or as frequently as the priest counsels you or as you feel the need. It is very helpful and a source of grace in overcoming them to confess habitual venial sins as well.
 
Welcome to one of the greatest gifts that the Catholic Church has to offer 👍 Confession is truly a wonderful sacrament.
Be sure to make the priest aware that it’s your first time. You may want to make an out-of hours appointment with him so that your discussion can be as long as it needs to be. You will be nervous - I still am most times I go! Don’t let it stop you - after all, the devil would love to see you skipping out of confession!

First order of business is the mortal sins you may have committed. There are some really good examinations of conscience on the internet that will show you the difference between mortal and venial sins. I recommend Father Z’s (just google ‘father z examination of conscience’ ). Write down your sins and an act of Contrition to take in with you so you don’t forget anything.

Try not to get too hung up - remember full knowledge and consent are required for a sin to be mortal. Even if you forget to mention a sin it will be forgiven anyway, just mention it next time you go. Mention any venial sin that may be a recurring problem or a concern for you as well. The priest may ask questions - he’s not judging, just finding out more info.

After that it’s really up to you how often you choose to go. Once a year is mandatory (during the Lent/Easter season). Of course you should go as soon as possible if you do fall into mortal sin. Most people seem to find once a month or so is fine. Personally I like the idea of being super-squeaky clean and ready to receive the Eucharist on Sundays, so I go every week.

God bless and don’t be a stranger to that little dark box! :gopray: After all, Jesus is in there waiting to help you :yup:
 
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ClaytonGarrett:
e other item was the affirmation of my 14 year marriage to my wife, in front of our Catholic community. This will be nothing short of one more blessing.
  1. After 44 years, what do I focus on first?
  2. After I am forgiven for my sins, how often to I do confession?
Click to expand...
It depends on if your 14 year marriage is a Catholic Marriage inside the Church.

Ken
 
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ClaytonGarrett:
I am new to the Catholic faith and finishing my RCIA this Easter, along with my 9 year old daughter.

Anyway, I am curious about reconciliation which is one of the two things I discussed with our priest prior to my starting the program.
The other item was the affirmation of my 14 year marriage to my wife, in front of our Catholic community. This will be nothing short of one more blessing.

Reconciliation, however, is another thing. I am 44 years old and have done a lot in my life thus far. I know I sin, I know I will continue to sin, but hope that the forgiveness of my past sins will help me improve upon a life such as it has been.

Anyway, couple quick questions:
  1. After 44 years, what do I focus on first?
  2. After I am forgiven for my sins, how often to I do confession?
Click to expand...
I would suggest sitting down and reflecting on your past. Keeping the Seven Capitol sins in mind try and see where each of your past actions fits in the list of “Seven”. When going to confession say I have committed the sin of “Pride” by XYZ, I have committed the Sin of “Gluttony” by ABC, Etc. It’s important that you don’t spend time in Confession listing all your past sins, but that you spend time before Confession reflecting on them and how they have hurt your relationship with God and others.

I would try to make Confession monthly or at least 3 or 4 times a year.
 
And if you completely wind up at a loss when you show up, as I did, just say so. Priests know how to help. However, I will never wait that long again, ever.
 
Use an examination of conscience like these. Get in the habit of doing at least a cursory one every night at your bedtime prayer. Ask forgiveness then and say an act of contrition. Youl’l get in the habit of recognizing mortal sins quickly and you will need to go to confession prior to recieving communion if you have commited any.It is good practice to go once a Month for most of us sinners. You’ll have to examine your own conscience and see if you need more or less confession in your life.

frpat.com/examen.htm

cin.org/avatar/examcon.html

theworkofgod.org/library/examine.htm

scborromeo.org/confess.htm
 
I go to confession before I read which means two to three times a month. I believe that now I am part of the serial confession group. I always have thought that if I stand up and read the Bible I should do so with a clean conscience.

If your not sure if something is a sin ask the Priest.

For your first confession try to set up a face to face. I once went to confession and the guy a couple of places in front of me went to the confessional and was in there for more than twenty minutes. Almost cost five of us the chance to confess as the vigil mass was about to begin.

Get a list together of sins by type and number
 
Br. Rich SFO:
I would suggest sitting down and reflecting on your past. Keeping the Seven Capitol sins in mind try and see where each of your past actions fits in the list of “Seven”. When going to confession say I have committed the sin of “Pride” by XYZ, I have committed the Sin of “Gluttony” by ABC, Etc. It’s important that you don’t spend time in Confession listing all your past sins, but that you spend time before Confession reflecting on them and how they have hurt your relationship with God and others.

I would try to make Confession monthly or at least 3 or 4 times a year.
Click to expand...
Thank you very much.

You know, I am actually looking forward to reconciliation, just a concerned about the magnitude of my sins thusfar in my life. But I know that this is the beginning of a new life for me and I am ready.
 
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