Wow. I can’t believe that after stumbling on this thread I read or scanned all 196 posts up to when I started this. I may have the beginning of Excedrin headache #…uh, I lose count, lol !
First, I was very grateful for the few islands of sanity (SpritMeadow and Gertabele in particular) that allowed me to more easily hop over the turbulent waters of emotionality that surged almost everywhere. I also had to avoid the jagged rocks of sarcasm and the screaming and yelling of assorted sirens. Not attractive. I read everything that didn’t appear redundant off the top and scanned the rest out of respect for the posters and of my own interest in the phenomenon of faith. We believe many things, some of them religious, and it interests me why and how we change. Few really do, funda-mentally.
In general, the postings and protestations of the Catholic “apologists” on this thread made me more grateful than before that I stopped attending. I was a well catechized (won a large trophy in a statewide “knowledge of Catholic theology” competition) and was very zealously into proselytizing my friends whom I thought were doomed to the eternal fire. I now ask their forgiveness, though at the time I didn’t know any better.
I empathize with those who label themselves “recovering Catholics.” In my own case, I called myself a recovering “Cath-aholic.” I did so because the symptoms of religious faith are, as are those of any belief system, remarkably similar to any other addiction. The difference is that the substance being abused is not an ingested chemical, but thought. Well, a physiologist will tell you it is really the same thing, really, except that it is socially acceptable to have thought addictions (habits) that are not overtly and immediately harmful. In other words, believers use “thought-ahol” in the place of street or prescription drugs. Some of the jags on here are reflective of that, Catholic or otherwise.
I was exceptionally fortunate. My awareness was involuntarily blasted out of its addictive thought pattern by a minor trauma. Nevertheless, it gave me the remarkable moment of chance that was a momentary derailment of my belief train/“train” of thought. I don’t mean here religious thought specifically, but my entire concept of who and what “I am.” I guess that, in short hand, that would be a good way to put it. I discovered that who and what we think we are is exactly that: a concept we think, and by necessity of default, identify with. It is this identification with a limited thought field that constitutes our person. (look up the etymology of “person.” It is very revelatory in this regard.)
Anyway, since one of our most basic things to do is to survive, and we have this particular culture stuff ingrained into that sense as children, we equate it with our survival, physical or eternal. That is well and good. We need to do something like that to live at all. Good job, everyone who’s made ti so far!
But if you get your thoughts knocked out of you, and are still awake, then what? Most of you won’t even have a clue what I mean. But believe me, you can be awake and have no thoughts. Zip. Zero. Nada. Zilch. etc. When this happens, you realize that “I” has an entirely different referential value than what we refer to as “me.” “Me” is person. It is constituted of
everything you *think *you are, including atheist, Catholic, Pocomaiac, or Jain, American, Greenie, dummy, smarty, sister, husband, pro, poor, successful or not,
anything. It matters not a whit. It is all *contents *superimposed on that feeling of being “I” which is the substrate to even the possibility of any thought. That “I” is the “carrier wave” of the modulation you think of as “you” or “me.” Modulation: "you"or “me.” No modulation: “I”
That knowledge puts the entire question of religious belief on a different footing. For me, I had to go elsewhere after a strong effort to find some resolution or explanation for my new found understanding within the Church. There was, it seemed at the time, no viable answer within the canon, though that was later somewhat modified.
At any rate, I had to re-order my life on the basis of this new and incontrovertible data. I was supremely fortunate in that I found a living proponent of a system that,* for me *from my experiential standpoint, covered all the bases, including eventually a renewed understanding of thoughts “Catholic,” and before that, of interpretations of the Bible and other scriptures I had looked at.
Nevertheless, it was a painful struggle to re-asses my entire experience, especially being alone for so long in my understanding. But it could easily be likened to going “cold turkey” for everything thought, including my now problematic religious faith. Hence, “recovering Catha-holic.” As an example of from what, just go to the threads on morality. I just got back from there and, and for instance, the twisted, contorted, excruciatingly painful faith engendered none-sense some of those poor people are suffering is criminal. And that is from someone who is a celibate bachelor who gets “offers” regularly. But the scenario on the morals thread and some others is reflective of the unnecessary convolutions that the faith requires in nearly all areas. That is why they, we, say “recovering Catholic” or “recovering Catha-holic.”