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iwillrisenow
Guest
I am currently a few months away from confirmation, so while I have learned about vocations through the RCIA process and by speaking with religious in my community, I am not at a point of intensive discernment. That being said, I have reflected a bit on my experience thus far with both vocations, and wanted to share my experiences and seek out suggestions for next steps. I will be somewhat frank regarding some of my gut reactions in hopes that others may be able to relate.
While I greatly admire the religious life and think that it is a beautiful way to spend one’s time on earth, I do not feel a personal call to the vocation at this time. I have explored a bit and even stayed a while with a community of sisters. To sum up my experience, it was pleasant enough for a short time, but I am not sure if I am called to live that life 24/7/365. While there, I felt joy in the presence of the Lord, but also longed to be in the world with Him, among the people, but not set apart in the extreme (for me personally, not generally speaking) way of the religious life. There are several other reasons, which would take way too much space here. This, of course, can change, and I would like to explore more (especially the Carmelites, as I do feel drawn to learn more about their Third Order and Marian consecration)…so I am not ruling the vocation out completely, just stating where I am right now. I do feel a bit more pressure as a single woman to discern, and wonder if a “no” is ever acceptable unless one is clearly called to marriage.
As for marriage, I believe that it is definitely too soon to discern as I am not currently in a relationship. That being said, I have noticed in myself a reaction whenever I hear about or see a happy engaged or married couple, some combination of sadness and… even a bit of jealousy (though I feel terrible about reacting this way
). I have faith in God’s determination and timing on this, but sometimes find it difficult to truly and deeply be happy for others in their marriage vocation. I am particularly eager to learn more about what marriage means in the Church (I cannot emphasize enough that I do not idealize it or think of it in the typical Hollywood fashion) and learn to pray with love for couples, especially those who are in the midst of trials in their marriages.
Finally, I am curious about men vs. women’s experience of discernment. I get the impression that, for example, if a man or woman has no interest in marriage because he feels that he is being called to religious life, most people would strongly admire and accept that and not tell him/her to be “open” to marriage…but if a single woman (particularly past a certain age) feels that she may be called to marriage, she is strongly urged to consider religious life…while a single man more often will be told that he just needs to “be patient.” But only God knows for sure. How do you deal with these perceptions in the meantime?
And as far as learning more about the vocations, what are the best steps to take from here? I am patient with the process, but always open to ideas and reflections from those who have 'been there" and/or are currently going through some of the same things.
While I greatly admire the religious life and think that it is a beautiful way to spend one’s time on earth, I do not feel a personal call to the vocation at this time. I have explored a bit and even stayed a while with a community of sisters. To sum up my experience, it was pleasant enough for a short time, but I am not sure if I am called to live that life 24/7/365. While there, I felt joy in the presence of the Lord, but also longed to be in the world with Him, among the people, but not set apart in the extreme (for me personally, not generally speaking) way of the religious life. There are several other reasons, which would take way too much space here. This, of course, can change, and I would like to explore more (especially the Carmelites, as I do feel drawn to learn more about their Third Order and Marian consecration)…so I am not ruling the vocation out completely, just stating where I am right now. I do feel a bit more pressure as a single woman to discern, and wonder if a “no” is ever acceptable unless one is clearly called to marriage.
As for marriage, I believe that it is definitely too soon to discern as I am not currently in a relationship. That being said, I have noticed in myself a reaction whenever I hear about or see a happy engaged or married couple, some combination of sadness and… even a bit of jealousy (though I feel terrible about reacting this way
). I have faith in God’s determination and timing on this, but sometimes find it difficult to truly and deeply be happy for others in their marriage vocation. I am particularly eager to learn more about what marriage means in the Church (I cannot emphasize enough that I do not idealize it or think of it in the typical Hollywood fashion) and learn to pray with love for couples, especially those who are in the midst of trials in their marriages.Finally, I am curious about men vs. women’s experience of discernment. I get the impression that, for example, if a man or woman has no interest in marriage because he feels that he is being called to religious life, most people would strongly admire and accept that and not tell him/her to be “open” to marriage…but if a single woman (particularly past a certain age) feels that she may be called to marriage, she is strongly urged to consider religious life…while a single man more often will be told that he just needs to “be patient.” But only God knows for sure. How do you deal with these perceptions in the meantime?
And as far as learning more about the vocations, what are the best steps to take from here? I am patient with the process, but always open to ideas and reflections from those who have 'been there" and/or are currently going through some of the same things.
