As long as the family did nothing and is doing nothing to aid the son in his remarriage, I see no reason for the refusal of communion to the family. However, I can see the possibility of denying communion to the family if they all participated in the son’s second wedding and are now allowing him and his second wife to life together in the family’s home, as that would seem to indicate their ongoing cooperation in their son’s sin.
Even if that were to happen, that would be very shaky grounds to refuse someone Holy Communion. You can’t be held responsible for your adult relative’s choice and there is the fact that remarried or not, this remains your son or daughter. A canon lawyer can argue that point and probably win it arguing that the greater good is the unity of the family, while refusing to receive your son with his new spouse is not going to change his choice.
In the case that he was cohabiting with a partner, of either gender, the greater good is to encourage the separation. But once they are married, the likelihood of a separation is remote to none. You must always strive for the greatest good that you can achieve.
The other part, the participation in the marriage itself may have some grounds, except that again a canon lawyer will argue that it is very difficult for a parent to refuse to attend the wedding. The emotional and family pressure is great and probably diminishes culpability, as you are there because you see no other choice other than have a full scale rebellion in your household. The priest has to take this factor into consideration.
There is something missing here that either the parent did not understand or the priest did not understand. One piece that may not have been said here is that the parents encouraged the alliance. The parent does have a duty to explain the moral truth to the adult child in a manner that is respectful and clear at the same time. He does not have to disown the child once he has fulfilled this obligation, nor does he have to close his doors, unless the situation is going to bring a disruption into the family’s life. This is more common in the case of same sex unions. Those are obviously very divisive in families. Heterosexual marriages a much less divisive, it at all. If the parent encouraged the union, the priest may have reasons for reservation. It would be up to the bishop to decide if it warrants a permanent exclusion from Communion.
Denying Holy Communion indefinitely is one step short of excommunication. The bishop has the final say in that matter. The person is not saying whether they appealed to the bishop or not. That’s another missing piece. Different dioceses have different procedures for dealing with these situations. In some, the burden to report it to the bishop is on the pastor and in others it falls on the communicant.
Fraternally,
Br. JR, OSF
