Regret finding out about mortal sin?

[mannyo249]

Hello,

Please don’t attack me, I know some aspects of his post may cause you to think I’m unholy and such, but I’m not. I’m 16 years old. I recently found out about mortal sin, and I’ve been in a relationship for about 6 months. All of my friends have received oral sex, and my girlfriend offered it to me. Being this young, I’m curious. Everyone says it’s great. I said “yes.” It hasn’t happened yet, but I recently found out about mortal sin. I’m so mad because now if I receive oral sex I’m going to hell, and betraying God, because I know that it’s grave matter. I kind of wish I had never found out, because most kids my age don’t know that it’s such a big deal. I’m now so mad that I’ll never get to experience these things because I’m very holy and I don’t want to go to hell. At the same time I feel like every teen experiences this kind of stuff. Ugh Please give me some guidance.

 

[KCT]

You should be grateful you know about mortal sin. It will save you much heartache later in life.

Save yourself for marriage. You will be glad you did. Most things in life that are worthwhile are hard. Don’t take the easy road; it’s not worth it in the long run.

 

[Armor_of_Light]

My young friend…

If I may be somewhat blunt here.

You aren’t missing anything! Oh…how many times I wished I had saved myself for marriage. The 22 seconds of pleasure…you will forget, but the regret lasts a loooooong time and has many consequences.

Proper relations in a marriage is infinitely better and satisfying. Offer it up the best you can and graces will follow.

 

[MaeganFlinchum1]

Save yourself for marraige! I cannot stress enough that 22 seconds (as stated above) is NOT worth the days upon days of guilt, and depression

 

[SaintPatrick333]

As everyone else said save it for marriage. I’m telling you from personal experience (I’m 24) it is NOT worth it. You can develop unhealthy addictions that stem from “harmless fun” as some people would describe it. Make no qualms about it. It is very harmful. It is putting self pleasure before God. Something that we all have to answer for on our day of judgement. Having oral sex will not be better than experiencing the Beatific Vision (Heaven). Trust me.

 

[starsmurf]

First of all, it’s natural that you’re curious and that you have a strong desire for sexual experiences. It is also understandable that you have that “I wish I’d never found out!” feeling, or at least that you could’ve found out afterwards.

God does understand how difficult it is to be a chaste teenager. St Augustine, one of the greatest Saints the Church has produced, wrote about his own struggle for chastity. He led a pretty wild life before his conversion at the age of 33. He had a mistress and they had a son together. He wrote that, while he was deciding whether Christianity was true or not, he often prayed “God, make me chaste”. It was only after his conversion that he realised he’d been adding “…but don’t do it just yet”. Wanting not to have to be chaste until after you’ve experienced the pleasures of sex is not a unique feeling.

As several other posters have pointed out, the pleasure isn’t worth the pain. I assume that your girlfriend is at your school or at least someone you had regular social contact with before you got together. Well, imagine that she has performed oral sex on you, or that you even got to the point of having sex together. That means that this person has seen you naked, touched the most intimate parts of your body and seen you at your most vulnerable. Now imagine that, as sadly happens with most teenage relationships, you’ve broken up. Now you have to face her at school or be around her, knowing that she knows all that about you. Even apart from the pain of the break-up of such an intimate relationship, you’ll have to deal with the fallout. You’ll feel paranoid every time you hear her friends laugh about something, have to feel the embarrassment of knowing that her friends know every detail (believe me, girls will talk about that stuff). Aside from the moral implications (which are huge), there are a lot of emotional ones.

If you stay chaste, you will save yourself a lot of heartache. God didn’t give us these “rules” just because He felt like it. They’re there to save us from ourselves. God is our Father and our relationship with Him is like most teenagers and their parents. If you and your parents are like most families, you’ll spend your teenage years thinking your parents are wrong and make rules for no reason and then have to spend the rest of your life realising they were right (and then do the same to your own kids ). God’s laws are like that, we’re just unable to see that right now.

Ask God for strength, maybe pray to St Augustine for help. The saints were tempted by the same feelings that you feel, so don’t feel that just because you have these desires that you’re a lost cause. I hope that you can overcome this temptation. Jesus was tempted in every way that we are, He just didn’t give in. Jesus gave us the sacrament of reconciliation (confession) because He knew our weaknesses. That doesn’t mean that you can sin and just confess it afterwards, it just means that there is always a fresh start.

I’ll be praying for you. I hope you’ll decide to stay chaste until you marry. It’s not easy but it will be worth it.

God bless.

 

[Carlan]

Hello,

Please don’t attack me, I know some aspects of his post may cause you to think I’m unholy and such, but I’m not. I’m 16 years old. I recently found out about mortal sin, and I’ve been in a relationship for about 6 months.

All of my friends have received oral sex, and my girlfriend offered it to me. Being this young, I

Young friend, dump your present crowd quick smart, find some decent chaste friends to hang with.
That is not true, don’t listen to the lies. Pray about it while you are still chaste and holy!
Be the one to set a pure and holy example always. Come Holy Spirit, guide our young friend! Peace, Carlan