Regular confessor and appointments

[FrancescaMaria]

Hi! I heard and read many times that it is beneficial to have a regular confessor (i.e. to go to the same priest for confession). I try to do that by making regular appointments with him, because if I came to normally scheduled confession, I would have no idea, which priest is inside and I guess I would not feel it would be appropriate for me to ask the people coming out. I am fortunate, that my priest is always happy to make an appointment and it also works well for me. I am just wondering, is this what people who have regular confessors usually do, or is there another way to accomplish that? Do most people go to confession by appointment? Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts.

 

[brad90956]

Hi! I heard and read many times that it is beneficial to have a regular confessor (i.e. to go to the same priest for confession). I try to do that by making regular appointments with him, because if I came to normally scheduled confession, I would have no idea, which priest is inside and I guess I would not feel it would be appropriate for me to ask the people coming out. I am fortunate, that my priest is always happy to make an appointment and it also works well for me. I am just wondering, is this what people who have regular confessors usually do, or is there another way to accomplish that? Do most people go to confession by appointment? Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts.

I’ve never gone to confession by appointment and have confessed at two different parishes (my home parish was not offering confessions at the time I needed to go) with 4 different priests.

I don’t know if I am the exception but I don’t feel like I need a regular confessor and to be perfectly honest, it doesn’t matter to me which priest I go to. **I like to go to my parish priest **but as long as I am there confessing my sins to God and receiving absolution and penance, I’m good….

I’m not discouraging a regular confessor and it is very beneficial to many people but for myself, it is not that important to me.

God Bless

 

[babochka]

Hi! I heard and read many times that it is beneficial to have a regular confessor (i.e. to go to the same priest for confession). I try to do that by making regular appointments with him, because if I came to normally scheduled confession, I would have no idea, which priest is inside and I guess I would not feel it would be appropriate for me to ask the people coming out. I am fortunate, that my priest is always happy to make an appointment and it also works well for me. I am just wondering, is this what people who have regular confessors usually do, or is there another way to accomplish that? Do most people go to confession by appointment? Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts.

I usually make an appointment, but not always. We’re a super-small parish and only have scheduled confessions on Sunday morning. I have trouble getting there early enough on Sunday mornings to get to confession and there’s usually a line, so I find it easier to make an appointment. “Appointment” can be a bit of a loose term, though. I often just ask Father for confession when I see him, which isn’t really scheduling an appointment.

 

[pianistclare]

Appointment in his office. Typical confession. The only difference is we don’t delay others from going to confession if he wants to offer counsel.
It’s common at our parish. I ask him after Mass if he has tme in the coming week and he’ll say to call him on such and such a day. Easy…

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Spiritual Director

I think that what you are looking for is someone to be your “Spiritual Director”, so you can get advice on spiritual and prayer issues at some length and not limited to just a few minutes in a Confessional.

I have been blessed when the pastor of a nearby parish offered to fill this role for me during a routine Saturday confession.

In his rectory office once every couple of months for a half hour.

He encouraged me to pray or attempt to pray a Daily Rosary. There are so many interruptions, but I worked at it. And continue to work at it.

It lasted until he got transferred to be pastor at a distant parish as part of a rountine rotation.

On another occasion, my job required a temporary relocation some distance from home and after daily Mass at the new city once a month I was able to meet briefly with the local pastor in the sacristy for Confession and his guidance and his blessing. I noticed after a while that others observed this and began taking advantage of the opportunity as well.

Once in a while, there might be a seminar or other get together and I was able to ask a specific question of a visiting priest.

Sometimes there are retired priests who are no longer burdened with administrative tasks and might have some time available to function as a Spiritual Director.

It varies from place to place and from time to time.

Ask around.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

I have a regular confessor (well, had; Father was recently transferred out of the archdiocese) and have never made an appointment to confess. I deal with the issue of knowing who is in the confessional simply by asking where and when my confessor will be hearing confessions. Upon occasion the schedule changes at the last minute, but it is reliable the vast majority of the time. When confronted with such a change, I confess anyway. The “regular confessor” arrangement is not absolute; I prefer to confess to one priest but the unavailability of my regular confessor does not prevent me from receiving the sacrament.

I don’t confess in my parish, but I still know which priest will be hearing confessions during the scheduled times. This information isn’t a secret nor is it difficult to obtain. Perhaps other parishes are different.

 

[Anne1964]

I used to make appointments with my regular confessor, who became my spiritual director, but he was transferred to a distant parish. I still meet with him periodically for spiritual direction but I had to find a confessor who was closer to where I live. He is in a one-priest parish so unless he’s on vacation he’s the only one hearing confessions there.

 

[EricF]

I can definitely see the benefits of a regular confessor. I just go wherever I am when I need to. I had the privilege of confessing at St. Mary Major last week.

 

[babochka]

Spiritual Director

I think that what you are looking for is someone to be your “Spiritual Director”, so you can get advice on spiritual and prayer issues at some length and not limited to just a few minutes in a Confessional.

There are many benefits to having a regular confessor that do not necessarily involve spiritual direction. For me, they include increased emotional/psychological comfort during the confession and increased accountability.

My pastor provides brief (and not so brief) spiritual direction during every confession anyway, as does every Byzantine priest I’ve ever met. That’s why it can be hard to get to church early enough to have my confession heard on Sunday morning. If I’m not first in line, it can be a long wait. He takes to heart the words of the patron saint of confessors, St. Alphonsus Ligouri: “But some will say, ‘If we treat sinners in this manner a great deal of our time will be taken up, and others who are waiting cannot be heard.’ But in answer I say, that it is better to hear one confession well than to hear a great number imperfectly. But the most appropriate answer is, that the confessor has not to give an account to God of the persons who are waiting, but only of the person whose confession he has begun to hear.” Making an appointment takes the pressure and time constraints off of both of us.

 

[ReneeLee]

Just a thought - If you can’t tell who is in there, others probably can’t either and probably have the same desire you do. Consider suggesting at your parish that the priests post a sign saying who is in there.

Nearly all churches in my area have a sign on the confessional with the name of the priest on it. If a priest has his own confessional it is always posted. If there are 2 priests per confessional the sign flips showing which one is in there. If confessions are cancelled there is a sign. It is very handy. I confess to the same priest twice a month during regularly scheduled times and there is never any guessing who is in the confessional because it is always posted.

It is surely easier on the priests to post a sign than have people wanting to make private confessions all the time.

 

[casslean]

I don’t have a regular confessor, but there are times I prefer to confess to one priest in our parish rather than the other (one is especially good at giving counsel, especially for situations where I know I need to hear some no-nonsense, straight-from-the-hip words). On those days, I just make sure I get to the church early so I can see which priest walks into the confessional. Of course we are blessed with having quite frequent confession at our church (three scheduled days a week minimum, and both priests will hear confession after Mass by request), so even if the priest I’d like isn’t hearing confessions that day, odds are good that he’ll be in the confessional the next day.