Regular Confessor

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How do you find a regular confessor? Any stories of finding a regular confessor or turning your favorite priest into a regular confessor would be appreciated - thanks!
 
csg1976 said:
How do you find a regular confessor? Any stories of finding a regular confessor or turning your favorite priest into a regular confessor would be appreciated - thanks!
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A “regular confessor” can never be more than a temporary arrangement, since priests get moved around so much. For myself, I try to find a priest who is in a fairly stable parish, where the people like him, so that it’s not likely that he’s going to get moved.

I also try to choose someone of my own race and general cultural background, for easier communication. My current Confessor is the FSSP priest at our local Latin Mass parish, because they aren’t likely to move him out of there (everyone likes him), and because he grew up in the same neighborhood where I did. 🙂
 
I knew my confessor for a few years before he actually became my confessor. I started to talk to him about a problem I was going though and also chatting about my difficulties going to confession (I used to only go once or twice a year). We had a talk about it and then we sort of went through a process of confession…after that he became my regular confessor. I do go to others if he is not available, but I prefer to go to him.
 
While I like all the priests that are serving in my parish, I’ve found that I have developed a real repoire with one in particular. I simply check with him as to when he is hearing confessions. If my need is great, and he’s on vacation or something, then I go to whoever is available.
 
When I joined the church last year, I picked mine simply because he was the first one in the confessional on Saturdays, and also because he’s the most traditional (very traditional pre-Vatican II type priest. He still says the Adoration prayers in Latin! :D) of the priests at our parish (he’s the only one that was at a seminary from a young age). I do go to other priests if my regular confessor isn’t there. We have one priest who’s from Africa, but it’s very hard to understand him (I still have no idea what his homilies are about… but they’re long…).
 
my regular confessor is my local parish priest we were talking once after the parish cent sale and i happened to mention i hadn’t been to confession in 7 years 😊 well he made an appointment for me the next day for 3 days time for me to go with him he has been my regular one ever since as i’m a bit prone to panic attacks with some our other priests though if i need to go to someone else i will but his advice always seems to fit like a glove with what i’m going through at the time 👍
 
Jennifer_G said:
When I joined the church last year, I picked mine simply because he was the first one in the confessional on Saturdays, and also because he’s the most traditional (very traditional pre-Vatican II type priest. He still says the Adoration prayers in Latin! :D) of the priests at our parish (he’s the only one that was at a seminary from a young age). I do go to other priests if my regular confessor isn’t there. We have one priest who’s from Africa, but it’s very hard to understand him (I still have no idea what his homilies are about… but they’re long…).
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A few years ago, I was looking for a regular confessor, and came across your priest, Jennifer. I had been to many of his daily Masses and thought he must be great in confession. He always had a long line of the same people week after week, so I had another reason to try him out. The first time, he just didn’t seem to understand me and gave me some advice that didn’t quite seem to fit. I thought, well, maybe it was just not my day, and I gave him another try. The second time was worse than the first, and I actually ended up being upset. It takes a lot to upset me, but he managed to do it. I never felt so thoroughly misunderstood. I walked out of the church afterward saying, “What the heck was THAT about??” So I decided he wasn’t THE ONE for me. I still love him at daily Mass, though.

I bounced around to others for awhile, until one day I had something weighing very heavily on my heart. I went to a different parish, and chose the youngest priest, thinking he would be the one to rely more on the Holy Spirit because of his own inexperience. He was amazing. It took me awhile to work through that issue, and he was very helpful over the weeks and months. Two years ago, I ran into another situation where I needed lots of help, and again, he was wonderful. I’ve stuck to him like glue ever since, and he always “gets it,” and goes straight to the heart of things with great advice, comfort, and sometimes even a bit of humor.

Every summer when they play “musical chairs” with the priests and new assignments, I cross my fingers and hope not to lose him. This year, he’s involved with a project that goes beyond the summer, so I’m really hoping they don’t move him before that’s complete. That would give us another year. Where’s the “fingers crossed” smiley when you need it??

Betsy
 
We have only one priest, so it’s never a mystery who’s going to be in the confessional.

I had just begun to develop a rapport with our former pastor, when he was caught up in the game of “musical chairs”. He is now about a half hour away, so not totally out of reach.

However, when “the new guy” came, I decided to try him. The first time or two, there was nothing that said “this is the confessor you have been waiting your whole life for”, but neither was there anything that said “RUN!” :eek: So I went back a few months later. And again. And again. Most of those times were very “business-like”. You say what you have to say and I say what I have to say and we’re done. But gradually, we have developed a rapport and I feel like he “gets” where I’m coming from and what I have to say. He doesn’t always give advice, but when he does, it usually hits the nail on the head!

I hope he sticks around for quite a while!
 
I have a semi-regular confessor. I happened upon him randomly in the confessional at our Cathedral once and have been going to him ever since. He knows the issues I struggle with, so it makes it a lot easier to communicate my sins without having to give a whole lot of background etc.
 
Jsmith17 said:
I have a semi-regular confessor. I happened upon him randomly in the confessional at our Cathedral once and have been going to him ever since. He knows the issues I struggle with, so it makes it a lot easier to communicate my sins without having to give a whole lot of background etc.
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That is the best thing about a regular confessor, he knows your life situations. I can go to confession to someone who is not my confessor and confess getting angry with my husband and he might think one thing about it and give advice that may or may not help. But if I go to my regular confessor and confess the same thing, he knows my situaltion and can better help me get over this sin.
 
When we were getting a new pastor, I asked God to send a good confessor. Wow, let me tell you, that worked out well! So whatever ways you decide to look, whatever your needs are, always ask God to take you shopping. Whomever He tells you to try, try that one. You won’t go wrong.
 
csg1976 said:
How do you find a regular confessor? Any stories of finding a regular confessor or turning your favorite priest into a regular confessor would be appreciated - thanks!
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A friend of mine went to Italy to visit St. Padre Pio. Because he was a great confessor, I asked my friend to ask him to pray for me to have a good confessor. One month later, I went to confession with our new priest; after the confession, I knew he would be my regular one. Thanks to God for listening to His saint, St. Padre Pio, for his intercession.

This priest has become my spiritual director as well.

Please always pray for confessors before you go to confession.
 
EasterJoy said:
When we were getting a new pastor, I asked God to send a good confessor. Wow, let me tell you, that worked out well! So whatever ways you decide to look, whatever your needs are, always ask God to take you shopping. Whomever He tells you to try, try that one. You won’t go wrong.
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That is awesome!
 
I’m fortunate that the two parish priests I’ve known have been good confessors. The first one would often say “right now!” when I came to make an appointment, and he always kept me in there for 20 minutes. I had no idea that there were designated times and you were supposed to be in and out in 5 minutes! The second priest is also excellent. He talks a lot less than the first (extravert vs. introvert, there, I think!) but is extremely hospitable and available. They both left the door open to direction and I never felt hurried.

I have confessed to maybe a half dozen other priests, and with all of them I felt like I was on an assembly line. They were kind, and helpful, but it was clear that while they would totally do their job, they weren’t there to build a continuing relationship.

Both approaches obviously have their places, but I am very grateful for priests who will stick around and walk with me week after week as I try to grow in holiness.
 
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