Reinvigorating coffee and donuts after Sunday Mass

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We have a Bible Study for 8 months of the year, that meets between the 8 AM and the 11 AM masses, so we either attend the 8 AM mass and then go to Bible Study or go to mass afterwards. It’s very well attended and growing, there are about 20 members now, They’re not always all present because of family events, even sports events! but everyone attends most of the time.
One woman organized it, and another one leads it. That seems to work out well.
People bring snacks to share, no one is charged for them. We do the Bible study and afterwards pray for intentions for about 10-15 minutes. It’s a great thing that brings many of us closer to God and one another.
 
A lot of this activity depends on the personality of the pastor.

One fellow is so personable, that while driving around he spotted a moving van … and he stopped and signed up the husband, the wife and the kids … AND THE MOVERS!
 
After awhile, people will feel guilty about getting coffee and/or donuts for free, even if there’s no pressure to donate.

Everybody loves donuts, but some people, especially women, will avoid them. It might help to add something more health conscious.

There is always a tendency for cliques to form, at ages 4 through 100. The same people will converse with the same people, without necessarily realizing it or meaning anything by it. It can take a lot of time & effort to plug in if something has been going for a few years and there’s always the same people automatically sitting/standing in the same spot. It’s much easier when something is new and everybody is on the same page.
 
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I’ve been trying to make the effort to attend more at my parish but have been burned a bit by the times I have attended and no one has spoken to me. The clique thing is definitely an issue.

Other than that it’s probably also a sign of the times, we are more mobile and less dependent on the people around us and it’s inevitable that it affects our behaviour. I feel way more fulfilled talking to an old friend on social media than making small talk face to face with an acquaintance.
 
Yes I t takes a bit to fit in .what did you think of the homily only goes so far. Then hmm?
 
I became active in PCCW in order to develop friendships with the other women of the parish.
 
People need to be educated that fellowshipping with the congregation is a necessary part of membership.
 
Theo520 said:
People need to be educated that fellowshipping with the congregation is a necessary part of membership.
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No it’s not. It’s a nice thing to do, but the Vatican does not mandate it.

I note that I did go to Coffee and Donuts last Sunday, donated five dollars, sat with a person who was sitting alone and tried to talk to them (although someone I knew was sitting one table over and stopped to chat with me), so I did my bit for the week.

It’s still not required.
 
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Thinking about what has worked for me in the past I think it would be good to find a team of outgoing and already integrated people who can be given the task of approaching new or lone people at tea and coffee. It would help if this team could include a range of ages and backgrounds although I appreciate that this won’t be possible for all parishes.

Just standing with a cup of tea in a room full of strangers has never worked for me.
 
I have moved many times. Coffee and doughnuts after Sunday Mass is not going to be the best way to integrate oneself into a new parish. Participating in KC or PCCW, going to bible studies or other groups, showing up for church cleanup, volunteering in the school or religious education, offering transportation for those without, and otherwise offering one’s talents are ways of becoming part of the community. See insights to this in I Corinthians. It is mandated by the Bible.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
It’s still not required.
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Necessary is not the same as required.

We aren’t required to tithe but it’s necessary to a well functioning parish.
Volunteering your time isn’t required, but it’s necessary for the Parish to function.
 
Theo520 said:
We aren’t required to tithe but it’s necessary to a well functioning parish.
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Many people do not even donate, let alone tithe. Some of them probably can’t afford to tithe.

I don’t deny that tithing, volunteering, and being friendly to others are good, helpful things to do, but your original post specifically said that people need to be educated that “fellowshipping is a necessary part of membership.” The implication being, you can’t be a “member” if you don’t do these things.

The Catholic Church membership is available to all who follow the Church teachings and rules, and even if you don’t follow the rules you can still come to Mass although perhaps you cannot go to Communion or receive other sacraments. It’s important to make this distinction because there are people who read this forum who aren’t Catholic, and there are Protestant churches where if you don’t volunteer, don’t give a certain amount, don’t do this or that, you are kicked out, no longer a member, are not welcome at the services, etc. The Catholic Church is not like that. It is an important distinction.

I do not want to be part of a Church that requires or even states it is “necessary” for its parishioners to volunteer, or give money, or do “fellowshipping”. Someone who is unable to do any of those things should still be welcome to come and worship God in the Catholic Church, because God and the Real Presence are the main event and what the Church is all about. it is not a social group.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Many people do not even donate, let alone tithe. Some of them probably can’t afford to tithe.

I don’t deny that tithing, volunteering, and being friendly to others are good, helpful things to do, but your original post specifically said that people need to be educated that “fellowshipping is a necessary part of membership.” The implication being, you can’t be a “member” if you don’t do these things.
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Fine, tone it down a notch but for any org to survive it does require active participation by the members, and this must be encouraged. It is necessary to have a thriving Parish that functions in aiding and supporting it’s parishioners. It also doesn’t occur by random chance, it requires leadership.

The ‘education’ doesn’t need to be how you presented, as a ‘requirement’. It should focus on the mutual desire to build a strong and thriving parish that can help it’s members and the community at large.

The Parish needs to market the benefits of active participation, people need to consciously know why they attend the coffee, beyond the free coffee.
 
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Theo520 said:
The Parish needs to market the benefits of active participation, people need to consciously know why they attend the coffee, beyond the free coffee.
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With this statement, I can agree.

(And also “market” the benefits of donating and becoming more involved in the Church. )
 
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Making fellowship compulsory could do more harm than good. It should be encouraged and finding discreet and subtle ways to facilitate it is good but genuine relationships can’t be forced.
 
We have coffee and donuts the first Sunday of each month. It has consistently good attendance. Every week is overkill IMHO.

We offer coffee, milk/chocolate milk, orange juice, donuts, bagels w/cream cheese, fruit, yogurt, and string cheese. We have some diabetics and those who want healthy things. We have a free will offering basket, but do not station anyone at the basket or observe what goes in or who puts it there.
 
This question does open a big can of issues. You could have titled it,
“Reinvigorating after Sunday Mass”
or maybe more to the point,
“Reinvigorating Sunday Mass.”

Not that what is offered needs reinvigorating: it is, in itself, holy and complete. But many don’t know how (or why) to truly participate in the holiness and completeness present. I’m sorry to say, but I think many priest-celebrants as well, are distant from what they are in fact doing.

The essence of the Mass is “hidden” from so many of us - they/we do not see what is there in front of them.

Why? How to change this? That is the real issue, I think, the real question.
 
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