Rejoice with those who rejoice - on a Friday in Lent?

[Stratiotes]

Just curious what you would do in this situation since I am sure many of you have run into this.

A bunch of my team at work have decided on a Friday get-together for lunch during lent at a favorite restaurant. I would like to attend for the team morale and to share that with these friends but this restaurant has only meat and chicken on the menu. The person who planned it and most of the rest of the team are not Catholic so Lent was just not something they thought of – that is, it wasn’t their intent to plan this in order to exclude the 2 or 3 Catholics on the team. Rather than appear to be stand by principles and not go or go and not eat with them – I think a more loving thing would be to share in their celebration. If nothing else, swap a different day to abstain from meat that week. And I’m not rationalizing this – I really think it would be the better thing to do putting people before principles. But, maybe that is not an acceptable way to look at it. What do you think?

 

[garn9173]

Cann’t you just get a salad? Not to mention, if there are alot of Catholic’s in your area, the owner would be hurting his/her own bottom line by not having meatless options on the menu during Lent.

 

[Bookcat]

No…we can not privately “swap” the abstinence from meat on a Friday of Lent.

Dispensations can be given …for example a Bishop can dispense those in his diocese for some special reason --such as St. Patricks feast falls on the day (such happens at times…)

But we are not to simply “swap” for such…it is an obligation binding in conscience.

One can “rejoice with those who rejoice” without eating meat.

 

[Boulder257]

During lent we are not given the option to switch days or penances. We are required to abstain from meat on all Friday’s during lent (unless a Solemnity falls on that day).

However, you could certainly order something else. Also, this could be a great opportunity to share your faith. If it were me, I would go and order something non meat. If there was truly no option of food that didn’t contain any meat, I wouldn’t eat. If anyone asked me why, I would tell them I am Catholic and we don’t eat meat on Friday’s during lent, but I wanted to commune with my coworkers! That sometimes leads to a conversation, sometimes it doesn’t. For me, it actually led to my coworkers now picking out restaurants that have other options on the Fridays we would go out to eat (I don’t eat meat all year).

I hope this helps!

 

[Splagchnizomai]

Go, but don’t eat meat.

I find it hard to believe that a restaurant only has meat or chicken. They don’t offer sides – like fries, or salads, or other non-meat dishes? Or is meat plate with a side of chicken? Even BBQ joints have non-meat sides.

 

[SonCatcher]

It’s only okay if the exact Friday in question happens to fall on March 19 (Solemnity of St. Joseph).

I advise checking the restaurant menu over. It may be possible to eat only a selection of side dishes. Don’t worry about meat drippings or stock used in preparing them (thus, BBQ beans are okay as long as you eat around bacon pieces and grilled veggies are okay even if they are grilled next to your manager’s porterhouse). We don’t have to go vegan, after all.

You might even luck out and find they have a fish and chip special only for Lenten Fridays.

Go, but don’t eat meat.

I find it hard to believe that a restaurant only has meat or chicken. They don’t offer sides – like fries, or salads, or other non-meat dishes? Or is meat plate with a side of chicken? Even BBQ joints have non-meat sides.

Sadly, they do exist. One of my college classes was set up as a mock business that was supposed to win a real business as a client (it was an arranged setup but this was for realism). We invited the company executives and their spouses to dinner at a steakhouse only to discover real late that the owner’s wife was a vegan. The only thing she could eat was a green salad.

 

[Splagchnizomai]

Sadly, they do exist. One of my college classes was set up as a mock business that was supposed to win a real business as a client (it was an arranged setup but this was for realism). We invited the company executives and their spouses to dinner at a steakhouse only to discover real late that the owner’s wife was a vegan. The only thing she could eat was a green salad.

Green salad is non-meat, right? I have yet to hear of a restaurant that doesn’t have something without meat on it. If green salad is the only non-meat dish on the menu and it’s a Friday in Lent, then green salad it is!

 

[SonCatcher]

Green salad is non-meat, right? I have yet to hear of a restaurant that doesn’t have something without meat on it. If green salad is the only non-meat dish on the menu and it’s a Friday in Lent, then green salad it is!

True, green salad is non-meat. It is, however, also non-filling.

Although, if you’re also fasting, this wouldn’t be a problem at all.

 

[Splagchnizomai]

True, green salad is non-meat. It is, however, also non-filling.

Although, if you’re also fasting, this wouldn’t be a problem at all.

This isn’t a question about being filled up with food, but adhering to the Friday abstinence in a delicate situation. If we are worried about not eating enough at lunch on a day of penance during the holy season of Lent, are we worried about the right thing?

 

[1ke]

Just curious what you would do in this situation since I am sure many of you have run into this.

A bunch of my team at work have decided on a Friday get-together for lunch during lent at a favorite restaurant. I would like to attend for the team morale and to share that with these friends but this restaurant has only meat and chicken on the menu. The person who planned it and most of the rest of the team are not Catholic so Lent was just not something they thought of – that is, it wasn’t their intent to plan this in order to exclude the 2 or 3 Catholics on the team. Rather than appear to be stand by principles and not go or go and not eat with them – I think a more loving thing would be to share in their celebration. If nothing else, swap a different day to abstain from meat that week. And I’m not rationalizing this – I really think it would be the better thing to do putting people before principles. But, maybe that is not an acceptable way to look at it. What do you think?

Call the restaurant and inquire on vegetarian options and meatless options. I order stuff all the time that is off the menu.

No, you cannot eat meat on Friday.

 

[Stratiotes]

Two caveats that I did not go into with this.

The restaurant is one of those family style restaurants where the whole reason for going is to share what everybody orders. So, in theory I could just ask for a salad or vegetables but then it would be out of the intent to just order for me only not to mention everybody would be encouraging me to try theirs. I would prefer not to go rather than test my will to abstain from good food that everybody else is getting with the intent to share. It just seems to me a bit legalistic and a danger of becoming overly concerned with the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law to be that dogmatic. So I will probably end up just not going rather than worry about that issue.

 

[Bookcat]

Two caveats that I did not go into with this.

The restaurant is one of those family style restaurants where the whole reason for going is to share what everybody orders. So, in theory I could just ask for a salad or vegetables but then it would be out of the intent to just order for me only not to mention everybody would be encouraging me to try theirs. I would prefer not to go rather than test my will to abstain from good food that everybody else is getting with the intent to share. It just seems to me a bit legalistic and a danger of becoming overly concerned with the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law to be that dogmatic. So I will probably end up just not going rather than worry about that issue.

It is not “legalistic” is a (Friday of) “Lent” Such would not be the way to look at it. One is to follow the discipline. Are there legit dispensations at times given? Sure from the competent authority for a good reason (and of course then there is the question of scandal -leading others into sin–one has to avoid that too -even if one had such a dispensation).

It is not being “legalistic” to follow the actual discipline/law of the Church here.

Yes one may choose not to go if one wishes. Especially if one thinks one will give in to temptation to sin via disobedience to the discipline of Fridays in Lent --then yes do not go.

 

[garn9173]

Two caveats that I did not go into with this.

The restaurant is one of those family style restaurants where the whole reason for going is to share what everybody orders. So, in theory I could just ask for a salad or vegetables but then it would be out of the intent to just order for me only not to mention everybody would be encouraging me to try theirs. I would prefer not to go rather than test my will to abstain from good food that everybody else is getting with the intent to share. It just seems to me a bit legalistic and a danger of becoming overly concerned with the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law to be that dogmatic. So I will probably end up just not going rather than worry about that issue.

I’ve never heard of this style of restaurant. Why would you share what you ordered with someone else and vice versa?

 

[1ke]

Two caveats that I did not go into with this.

The restaurant is one of those family style restaurants where the whole reason for going is to share what everybody orders. So, in theory I could just ask for a salad or vegetables but then it would be out of the intent to just order for me only not to mention everybody would be encouraging me to try theirs. I would prefer not to go rather than test my will to abstain from good food that everybody else is getting with the intent to share.

I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. You simply tell your collegeaues ahead of time that you will be abstaining from meat on Friday, but would love to go with them to the restaurant so you have made arrangements to have salad or other non-meat items.

Or is it that you would be embarrassed to do as your faith is asking you to do?

It just seems to me a bit legalistic and a danger of becoming overly concerned with the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law to be that dogmatic. So I will probably end up just not going rather than worry about that issue.

It’s not legalistic. The Church is asking us to undertake a sacrifice corporately as the Body of Christ during Lent. It used to be all Fridays, and now it is six. You are free to do some other penance outside of Lent.

It is not merely the spirit of the law, but the ACTUAL sacrifice and penance that you are asked to make.

 

[1ke]

I’ve never heard of this style of restaurant. Why would you share what you ordered with someone else and vice versa?

Buca di Beppo is one example. They serve family style, but you **can **order separately.

 

[Stratiotes]

It is place primarily known for their fried chicken so the more people who order chicken, the more pieces there are to select from. Then you get two sides as a choice and they bring a large bowl of each of your two sides so you can share those. If everybody orders 3-piece chicken then all the chicken comes in a big bowl for everybody to choose whatever pieces they prefer.

There would be a couple of options with this place:

1. Get a salad that does not come with sides - and have nothing to share.
2. Get one of the overpriced fish dishes (its in the midwest so if catfish is not your kind of fish you’re going to have to shell out some cash - which is rather odd in light of the intent of lent being a sacrifice and so on). And again, have sides but no chicken to share.

On the legalistic question, I’m not making a statement of fact, I’m making a statement of my own sense of how that feels to me. I am open to the probability that its a bad way to look at it but it seems to me to fly in the face of Paul’s discussion about food sacrificed to idols and not asking questions about what they put in front of you to eat. I definitely bend to the church’s wisdom in the matter and I would not consider going against that. I’m just admitting I’m not altogether at ease with that view yet and trying to figure out what would be the best plan for me .

 

[Bookcat]

1. Get one of the overpriced fish dishes (its in the midwest so if catfish is not your kind of fish you’re going to have to shell out some cash - which is rather odd in light of the intent of lent being a sacrifice and so on).

You would be sacrificing your cash for he sake of your friends

 

[1ke]

It is place primarily known for their fried chicken so the more people who order chicken, the more pieces there are to select from. Then you get two sides as a choice and they bring a large bowl of each of your two sides so you can share those. If everybody orders 3-piece chicken then all the chicken comes in a big bowl for everybody to choose whatever pieces they prefer.

There would be a couple of options with this place:

1. Get a salad that does not come with sides - and have nothing to share.
2. Get one of the overpriced fish dishes (its in the midwest so if catfish is not your kind of fish you’re going to have to shell out some cash - which is rather odd in light of the intent of lent being a sacrifice and so on). And again, have sides but no chicken to share.

On the legalistic question, I’m not making a statement of fact, I’m making a statement of my own sense of how that feels to me. I am open to the probability that its a bad way to look at it but it seems to me to fly in the face of Paul’s discussion about food sacrificed to idols and not asking questions about what they put in front of you to eat. I definitely bend to the church’s wisdom in the matter and I would not consider going against that. I’m just admitting I’m not altogether at ease with that view yet and trying to figure out what would be the best plan for me .

Look at it as a way and an opportunity to evangelize.

Eat a salad or order fish.

 

[SonCatcher]

Two caveats that I did not go into with this.

The restaurant is one of those family style restaurants where the whole reason for going is to share what everybody orders. So, in theory I could just ask for a salad or vegetables but then it would be out of the intent to just order for me only not to mention everybody would be encouraging me to try theirs. I would prefer not to go rather than test my will to abstain from good food that everybody else is getting with the intent to share. It just seems to me a bit legalistic and a danger of becoming overly concerned with the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law to be that dogmatic. So I will probably end up just not going rather than worry about that issue.

Since everything is served family style, just select non-meat items from the serving dishes.

Also, part of the “spirit” of the law of abstinence is to show difference from those in your community - it certainly isn’t to blend in.

 

[Bookcat]

On the legalistic question, I’m not making a statement of fact, I’m making a statement of my own sense of how that feels to me. I am open to the probability that its a bad way to look at it but it seems to me to fly in the face of Paul’s discussion about food sacrificed to idols and not asking questions about what they put in front of you to eat. I definitely bend to the church’s wisdom in the matter and I would not consider going against that. I’m just admitting I’m not altogether at ease with that view yet and trying to figure out what would be the best plan for me .

Paul is not discussing the same sort of thing.

You would be sinning…

and Paul would want you to be obedient to the Lenten discipline which the Successor of Peter has made binding in conscience.