Relating to Mary As My Mother

[salve_maria_1]

I had a difficult time deciding whether to place this here or in the spirituality sub-forum. I decided here because it is a “family-related” topic, but moderators, please feel free to move if necessary.

Some here may remember my previous threads regarding my abusive mother. Fortunately, with a lot of work, I am able to “feel” again, at least to a degree. Unfortunately, it’s like having cloth ripped off a clotted wound because she says horrible things that cause me so much pain.

I desperately want to develop a filial relationship with our Blessed Mother, but my own relationship with my mother is really standing in my way. I cannot really associate good things with mothers from my experience. But I know that I crave such a relationship. I want to feel that love and tenderness and caring, that trust that allows me to pour out my heart to her. Probably my biggest wish is to be embraced by her. My mother never hugged me in my entire life that I can remember, nor exhibited any maternal tenderness at all.

I pray the Rosary, I read about her, I love the Marian hymns, I pray to her, I follow other devotions (like crowning her with flowers)…and I want with my whole heart to be hers and to love her and to be worthy of her. I just feel so unworthy. Sometimes my heart is just breaking and I so badly want to crawl into her lap and lean my head against her heart and just cry and let her rock me. I feel like a lost child and I so badly want her but I have no idea how to truly find her.

I understand intellectually that her love is more than all the love of all the mothers in the world that ever lived, currently lived, and will live, but I cannot understand that by experience because I never had a mother figure in my life (and no strong father-figure either). And things like love seem so terribly illogical that they can only be understood by experience.

If anybody can help me with this, I would be most appreciative.

 

[JerryZ]

I am so sorry that you did not experience a loving relationship with your parents. It seems that this is what the new normal means for our society.

Love is so many times expressed in terms of feelings, which in turn drive our emotions.
It seems that you are already showing love to our mother Mary by your concrete actions.
Perhaps to further experience her love towards you, you need to take a step further.
Forgive your mother (and father) for what she did or did not do to you, give all your heartpain to Jesus, ask Him to replace it with the joy of His and her mother’s love.

Hope you find your peace, I will pray for you.

–

 

[Bob4BVM]

From what you said here, i 'd have to say that you HAVE already ‘truly found’ Our Lady.
Trust the promise of Jesus, ‘behold YOUR Mother’.
Mary DOES hear your prayers and she does appreciate every one of them.
Sometime, as it fits God’s plan for you, you will know that beyond the shadow of a doubt.

Maybe think about what you can do for Her, as your Mother. She very often asks us to pray for her intentions. That is a great mystery to me, as many of Her prayers are offered to the Father on our behalf. But i find it a special honor to pray that Jesus will hear and answer all the prayers of Our Lady.

Trust Jesus in this. Trust Mary. They are truly right there next to you. Both of them !

 

[Karen107]

What if you prayed for others like our Mother Mary would pray for us? I guess because I’m a Mom I try to be like Mary would be and there’s blessings in doing that cause it makes you feel close to Mary and Jesus and gives you something to give and feel good about…

 

[Jeanne_S]

I had a difficult time deciding whether to place this here or in the spirituality sub-forum. I decided here because it is a “family-related” topic, but moderators, please feel free to move if necessary.

Some here may remember my previous threads regarding my abusive mother. Fortunately, with a lot of work, I am able to “feel” again, at least to a degree. Unfortunately, it’s like having cloth ripped off a clotted wound because she says horrible things that cause me so much pain.

I desperately want to develop a filial relationship with our Blessed Mother, but my own relationship with my mother is really standing in my way. I cannot really associate good things with mothers from my experience. But I know that I crave such a relationship. I want to feel that love and tenderness and caring, that trust that allows me to pour out my heart to her. Probably my biggest wish is to be embraced by her. My mother never hugged me in my entire life that I can remember, nor exhibited any maternal tenderness at all.

I pray the Rosary, I read about her, I love the Marian hymns, I pray to her, I follow other devotions (like crowning her with flowers)…and I want with my whole heart to be hers and to love her and to be worthy of her. I just feel so unworthy. Sometimes my heart is just breaking and I so badly want to crawl into her lap and lean my head against her heart and just cry and let her rock me. I feel like a lost child and I so badly want her but I have no idea how to truly find her.

I understand intellectually that her love is more than all the love of all the mothers in the world that ever lived, currently lived, and will live, but I cannot understand that by experience because I never had a mother figure in my life (and no strong father-figure either). And things like love seem so terribly illogical that they can only be understood by experience.

If anybody can help me with this, I would be most appreciative.

(((((((hugs))))))))
How blessed we are to have our Mother Mary.I am so sorry you never experienced a loving relationship with your mother. I would suggest getting Pope JPII encyclical “Redemptoris Matar” It is a beautiful study on Mary,you will lover her all the more after reading this!

 

[Evania]

My heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine…
I would like to suggest a Marian consecration. I just finished mine yesterday for the first time. Not only did I learn a lot about her, but it made me fall deeper in love.

 

[AnneTeresa]

From what you said here, i 'd have to say that you HAVE already ‘truly found’ Our Lady.
Trust the promise of Jesus, ‘behold YOUR Mother’.
Mary DOES hear your prayers and she does appreciate every one of them.
Sometime, as it fits God’s plan for you, you will know that beyond the shadow of a doubt.

!

I was thinking this same thing when I read the OP. What she describes is what I have with Mary–she is a great comfort and she can and does give us what we perhaps did not receive from our earthly mothers–perfect love, comfort, compassion, help. Your longing for her shows that you DO have that love for her and from her.