(I think it is valid, and therefore a marriage, but may be wrong, hear the researches (added 4th edit) (canon lawyer good, not one , too tired to view my books, as a layman), but ask a priest, here is the post (once made, not posted before research, edited afterwards, before intro added
)
before I moan about things, as I did before my research, please also consult a canon lawyer, priest, or apologist (In this forums is good):
firstly, you can get a blessing of the marriage, a disparity of cult, dispensation by the local bishop, which will make it legal (Non-catholic and non-catholic, may actually be different from what you heard)
as to normal marriage
"Q: When is marriage a sacrament?
A: The Code of Canon Law recognizes that, “a valid matrimonial contract cannot exist between the baptized without it being by that fact a sacrament” (CIC 1055 §2). So there are two requirements for a marriage to be a sacramental marriage: (1) the marriage must be valid; and (2) both parties must be baptized.
To be in a valid marriage, Catholics must meet certain requirements of canon law including the obligation to observe the Church’s form of marriage celebration or to be dispensed from that form. This applies to every Catholic, even when marrying a non-Catholic.
All valid marriages between Catholics are sacramental because you can’t be Catholic without being baptized. However, a valid marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic is sacramental, while a valid marriage between a Catholic and a non-baptized person is not.
Non-Catholics are not generally under the authority of canon law concerning marriage, so marriages between non-Catholics are generally recognized to be valid unless proven otherwise. Some of these marriages are sacramental (when both parties are baptized) and some are not (when one or both are not baptized).
—Jim Blackburn "
catholic.com/thisrock/2008/0801qq.asp
then
Firstly- “The way is narrow, few find the way to life”
secondly, I think your facts are wrong, but get the communion blessed (If a catholic is married outside= not married, but you weren’t Catholic, but ask the apologist, I’d be interested to hear it), keep us posted, but remember-
Matthew chapter 10
"34 Do not think that I came to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace, but the sword. 35 For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. "
newadvent.org/bible/mat010.htm#34
and again
Matthew chapter 10
“37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for me, shall find it. 40 He that receiveth you, receiveth me: and he that receiveth me, receiveth him that sent me. 41 He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet, shall receive the reward of a prophet: and he that receiveth a just man in the name of a just man, shall receive the reward of a just man. 42 And whosoever shall give to drink to one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, amen I say to you he shall not lose his reward.”
newadvent.org/bible/mat010.htm#37
your choice is what it is worth to be Catholic, otherwise, if not, then rather give up now ( personally, I’d be on the phone to the priest, asking what the facts are)- it is not easy to obey God, but I think your stats are incorrect, if married before, but check it up, and know- it is not the church who choses if you obey, but you who are to become of the church, by obeying whatever it preaches infallibly.
Marc (also added afterward)
ask father otherwise, link to the thread also, so he sees the conversation, but I’m almost positive that it was valid.