Relationship advice. Agnostic boyfriend

  • Thread starter Thread starter Minipu
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Even among 100% secular people, telling your sweetie about every flicker of physical desire toward other people is regarded as pretty bad form.

Considerate grownups learn to filter themselves in speech, as well as to control their behavior.
 
It seems you are pursuing this relationship because you have some shared interests. I suggest you consider looking for a relationship where you share a faith. Shared faith is far more important than shared interests.
 
Minipu, this guy’s behavior is below unacceptable for a 16 year old.

If he really is in his early 20s, I recommend moving on immediately.

I also recommend setting the bar higher for yourself in the immediate future! God don’t make no junk, and you shouldn’t tolerate any, either!
 
Minipu said:
Both of us are in our early 20s.
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I would say that a 20 year old who gets aroused watching cartoons has a major sexual dysfunction. Good that you found this out now! Please move on and work on maturing yourself and finding someone more mature. Hey, maybe even find someone Holy that can help you get to heaven. That is the job of a spouse you know…
 
pianistclare said:
Really? :rolleyes:
Are you trolling?
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She might not be. A lot of people in their 20s have a habit of speaking crudely without any awareness at all that they are being crude (I’m recovering from that habit myself.)

I don’t know if there was other language that has been since deleted by the mods, but there was some phrasing in the OP that I thought was…off-color. It’s not an attractive way to speak. I don’t know if it’s that some of us elect to grow out of it, or that we’re (openly) cruder now than in generations past, or what.

I do know that having children constantly around has made me think a lot harder about my language choices!
 
pensmama87 said:
She might not be. A lot of people in their 20s have a habit of speaking crudely without any awareness at all that they are being crude (I’m recovering from that habit myself.)

I don’t know if there was other language that has been since deleted by the mods, but there was some phrasing in the OP that I thought was…off-color. It’s not an attractive way to speak. I don’t know if it’s that some of us elect to grow out of it, or that we’re (openly) cruder now than in generations past, or what.

I do know that having children constantly around has made me think a lot harder about my language choices!
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Well, yeah I guess that’s also true, but I would HOPE that a Catholic young woman in her 20’s would know that certain terms are not acceptable in polite conversation.
So, in my mind, either this is a considerably younger person, or a person who is kind of jerking our chain.
Hope not.
 
Post #1 and Post #18.
Read them carefully.
Good luck to you.
I’m out.
 
I agree with the poster who said at least your boyfriend is being honest, but truly if he knows it hurts you when he looks at other woman and refuses to do anything about it, not only is he being disrespectful towards you but is much too immature. It’s hard enough dating an agnostic, now you have to add these porn problems to it. Cut your ties and find someone more compatible while you’re young and are not that emotionally invested in the relationship.
Good luck and God bless!
 
Because a guy is sweet to you doesn’t mean you should be dating. Every man should treat you with respect, and they should treat every person with respect, not just those who they can use to get something from. A Catholic man should treat everyone with respect because they understand the dignity of the human person. It’s part of ‘loving our neighbor’. I went to school with guys who were only nice to pretty girls. That’s showing something of their character. This is not a person to marry and have children with.

Look deeper at his character.

When you can sit a few minutes and have some time to read this link (it’s not that long but something that you can read a bit, then think about) please see that as you come into adulthood you can aim higher. For yourself first. It takes time to learn and practice virtue and to ask God’s help to accomplish virtue in your life. Hopefully you will find a man who will walk with you in this way. It’s a good way to navigate life, like a lamp to guide your feet.

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s1c1a7.htm
Human virtues are firm attitudes, stable dispositions, habitual perfections of intellect and will that govern our actions, order our passions, and guide our conduct according to reason and faith. They make possible ease, self-mastery, and joy in leading a morally good life. The virtuous man is he who freely practices the good.
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Temperance is the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and provides balance in the use of created goods. It ensures the will’s mastery over instincts and keeps desires within the limits of what is honorable.
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