Relationship advice needed--prayers very welcome

[trustinhim10]

Hello!

I wanted to come to the community here with a dilemma I am having. My boyfriend is having a crisis of faith, and I have no idea how to help him.

My wonderful long-term boyfriend, who is a very Christ-like person, has recently told me that he is not sure if he believes that Christ is God. He was raised as a Catholic and attended Catholic school his whole life, even through college. He was very passionate about the faith at one point, but somewhere over the years, he has fallen away. I am a practicing Catholic, very passionate about my faith, and my boyfriend and I go to church together, and we talk about God a lot. We both agree that we absolutely need God at the center of our lives.

We have been talking a lot about marriage and getting married, in a Catholic Church. I am very committed to this. He is so good for me in so many ways–kind, gentle, patient, humble, and loving beyond belief. He has fully agreed to raise our furture children in the Catholic Church, and he says that he still considers himself a “cultural Catholic”–he is just not sure what he believes anymore. He says he has full respect for the Catholic Church. He supports me in all the ways that I want to live my Catholic faith, including my views on NFP, and raising our future children in the faith to know and love Jesus.

I am conflicted about a few things. I am not sure where to go from here…since this is such a new development (he has stopped taking the Eucharist at Mass in the last month), I am a little shell-shocked as to how to proceed. He said that he would be into doing some counseling at our church to see if we can work out our feelings. I love him with all my heart, and I know he loves me the same. He is my best friend and my favorite person. I would love to marry him, but I am unsure about how to help him through this crisis of faith, and also how to proceed with my future. Can this work? Does anyone have any advice for me?

I really appreciate your help and your prayers. I don’t have too many people that I can talk to about this.

I am praying for you too!

In His perfect love and peace,

 

[Mamanurse]

Hello!

I wanted to come to the community here with a dilemma I am having. My boyfriend is having a crisis of faith, and I have no idea how to help him.

My wonderful long-term boyfriend, who is a very Christ-like person, has recently told me that he is not sure if he believes that Christ is God. He was raised as a Catholic and attended Catholic school his whole life, even through college. He was very passionate about the faith at one point, but somewhere over the years, he has fallen away. I am a practicing Catholic, very passionate about my faith, and my boyfriend and I go to church together, and we talk about God a lot. We both agree that we absolutely need God at the center of our lives.

We have been talking a lot about marriage and getting married, in a Catholic Church. I am very committed to this. He is so good for me in so many ways–kind, gentle, patient, humble, and loving beyond belief. He has fully agreed to raise our furture children in the Catholic Church, and he says that he still considers himself a “cultural Catholic”–he is just not sure what he believes anymore. He says he has full respect for the Catholic Church. He supports me in all the ways that I want to live my Catholic faith, including my views on NFP, and raising our future children in the faith to know and love Jesus.

I am conflicted about a few things. I am not sure where to go from here…since this is such a new development (he has stopped taking the Eucharist at Mass in the last month), I am a little shell-shocked as to how to proceed. He said that he would be into doing some counseling at our church to see if we can work out our feelings. I love him with all my heart, and I know he loves me the same. He is my best friend and my favorite person. I would love to marry him, but I am unsure about how to help him through this crisis of faith, and also how to proceed with my future. Can this work? Does anyone have any advice for me?

I really appreciate your help and your prayers. I don’t have too many people that I can talk to about this.

I am praying for you too!

In His perfect love and peace,

Well, after going thru a crisis of faith myself and actually “left” the church and did some stupid things for years, I finally came back. How old is your boyfriend? I started rebelling a little bit after I moved out of my parents home and had no authority to nudge me in the correct direction. I figured out that the world had so much to offer and decided that I didn’t believe in what had been infused in my my whole life. I am happy to hear that your boyfriend hasn’t resorted to doing anything stupid and still is resolved to raise children Catholic. I would definitely recommend that he speaks with his priest about his concerns and faith issues. Sometimes its easy to convince yourself that God isn’t there when you don’t necessarily “feel” Him, but He is always there. Many saints went through very dry spells, where they felt that God had abandoned them as well. Keep praying and get him to talk to a priest soon.

God Bless!

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Instead of going to counseling to work out your feelings, you should urge him to commit to another kind of individual counseling with a priest or spiritual director to try to work through this crisis of faith. Maybe even a directed retreat. Honestly, your boyfriend’s relationship with God is even more important than his relationship with you.

You say he wants God at the center of his life. How can this happen if he rejects Jesus? Why does he now have doubts about the divinity of Jesus? Are his doubts intellectual or do they result from a loss of feeling the presence of God or are they because of sinful choices he is making? Something serious is going on here. It may be that he has to come to a mature understanding of the faith. Maybe his understanding of Jesus is still the image he had of Him when he was young and this is incomplete.

My suggestion would be to temporarily put marriage plans on hold so your boyfriend can focus on his relationship with God. Since you are passionate about the faith, give
him time and encouragement to work it out. Pray for him continually and show him love and respect. I don’t think you would be happy married to a ‘cultural Catholic’.

 

[DanWelshiMac]

**I will pray for him;
you do the same.
Post a prayer request
on the Prayer Intentions Forum.
**