Relationship advice?

[barlowgirl]

Hello. I’m new here and I wasn’t sure where to post this.
I met a guy on a Catholic website. We lived about an hour away from eachother so every other weekend we would hang out. A couple months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted.
Another couple months later, he asked me to do something and I said I wasn’t comfortable doing that. A few minutes after that, he said we should just be friends. Later that night, he sent me an email saying “It’s not you, it’s me.” which I know means that it was me. I was devastated. I kept wondering what I did wrong and if I just would have done what he asked, we would still be together.
At first I thought I’d get over him; sure it’d take some time, but I thought I really would get over him and move on. As the months went by, I kept thinking about him more and more. Everything I saw would remind me of him. I thought God was trying to tell me something, so I sent the guy an email and told him I was sorry the way things ended between us and if it would be okay to get a cup of coffee. He replied back to my email and said it would be fine. Well, I asked him what day would work and he said he’d get back with me the closer to the weekend it got. He never replied, so now I’m just trying to accept the fact that he doesn’t like me and never wants to see me again.
I’ve been finding it very difficult to trust God with this. I know I’m still young, but I really thought this guy was the guy for me. I can’t imagine anyone else like him. I’ve cried so many nights over this issue and wondering if God really does have a plan for my life. I’m finding it so difficult to trust God. I’ve thought about religious life, but I know I want to get married and have a family someday. I’m broken and I’m feeling like I hit a dead end and have no where else to go. I just feel worthless.
Sorry for the rant and thanks for reading. Can anyone give me some advice on how to move on a trust God again?

 

[dancingcrane]

If that man wanted you to do something you were uncomfortable with, and dumped you for that, then the man wanted that thing more than he wanted you. You are NOT worthless.

I too once cried many tears over a man who dumped me for the same reason. My resolve to not give in to such selfish men, led me to my husband of now 28 years, and 5 wonderful children.

You can trust God. He is protecting you from a man who has proven himself to be unworthy of YOU.

 

[aicirt]

I love this saying, “You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs Before You Find The Prince”.

Been on pillows for at least 20 years. This means it sells well. Obviously, not only the maker of the pillow gets it but a lot of women can relate.

You said you’re young so there’s many things you should be experiencing and things in your life you’d like to do and accomplish. Make a list of what you want to do in the next two to three years and get going.

It will keep you busy, you’ll accomplish something, will make you a more interesting person and you’ll be happier. Start today and get a new do, manicure, pedicure.

Think about what you want in a mate. If you really think about it, maybe Froggy One wasn’t for you. Maybe God wants you to see that.

And most women will tell you, just when your happy doing all the stuff on your list without a thought about frogs, along comes the Prince.

 

[agapewolf]

If that man wanted you to do something you were uncomfortable with, and dumped you for that, then the man wanted that thing more than he wanted you. You are NOT worthless.

I too once cried many tears over a man who dumped me for the same reason. My resolve to not give in to such selfish men, led me to my husband of now 28 years, and 5 wonderful children.

You can trust God. He is protecting you from a man who has proven himself to be unworthy of YOU.

You are assuming he asked her to do something bad.

Perhaps he asked her to pray with him? If so, and she’s not comfortable praying with her boyfriend, then perhaps it was good he wanted to move on. Who knows?

To the OP: Its hard here to help you if you don’t elaborate. At least maybe you can tell us whether he wanted to do something good or bad?

 

[chevalier]

Yes, it depends on what he asked you to do. If it was something sexual or close and he dumped you for not doing it, then you don’t need to think about him any more.

If it wasn’t sexual or otherwise physically intimate, then it depends on what it was.

And don’t you ever cave in just because someone’s ready to dump you if you don’t comply. They say the person who cares less controls the relationship. Don’t be controlled like that.

 

[AlexaD]

Hello. I’m new here and I wasn’t sure where to post this.
I met a guy on a Catholic website. We lived about an hour away from eachother so every other weekend we would hang out. A couple months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted.
Another couple months later, he asked me to do something and I said I wasn’t comfortable doing that. A few minutes after that, he said we should just be friends. Later that night, he sent me an email saying “It’s not you, it’s me.” which I know means that it was me. I was devastated. I kept wondering what I did wrong and if I just would have done what he asked, we would still be together.
At first I thought I’d get over him; sure it’d take some time, but I thought I really would get over him and move on. As the months went by, I kept thinking about him more and more. Everything I saw would remind me of him. I thought God was trying to tell me something, so I sent the guy an email and told him I was sorry the way things ended between us and if it would be okay to get a cup of coffee. He replied back to my email and said it would be fine. Well, I asked him what day would work and he said he’d get back with me the closer to the weekend it got. He never replied, so now I’m just trying to accept the fact that he doesn’t like me and never wants to see me again.
I’ve been finding it very difficult to trust God with this. I know I’m still young, but I really thought this guy was the guy for me. I can’t imagine anyone else like him. I’ve cried so many nights over this issue and wondering if God really does have a plan for my life. I’m finding it so difficult to trust God. I’ve thought about religious life, but I know I want to get married and have a family someday. I’m broken and I’m feeling like I hit a dead end and have no where else to go. I just feel worthless.
Sorry for the rant and thanks for reading. Can anyone give me some advice on how to move on a trust God again?

First of all, a hug for you. Now listen to me: this guy isn’t worth the tears if he asked you to do something physical that you weren’t comfortable with. I know you didn’t mention it was physical, but his reaction leads me to believe that it was it was. Many guys do this when they don’t get what they want and that is their problem, not yours. He sounds selfish. The bottom line is, this wasn’t the guy for you! God didn’t do this to you and of course God has a plan for you. The guy made a choice with his own free will and you have to just hold your head up and not beat yourself up over it. YOU didn’t do anything wrong. You want to find a guy who will pursue you and be respectful at all times. When you meet that guy, you will look back on this and know that there is a reason for everything. In the meantime, focus on other things. Join a club, find a meetup group, take a class, do some volunteer work. Focusing on others will help you to stop dwelling on the guy who is out of your life and you just may meet someone else. Good luck!

 

[barlowgirl]

Thanks for the responses everyone. Yes, it was something sexual that I know God wouldn’t approve of.

 

[Morwenna]

If that man wanted you to do something you were uncomfortable with, and dumped you for that, then the man wanted that thing more than he wanted you. You are NOT worthless.

I too once cried many tears over a man who dumped me for the same reason. My resolve to not give in to such selfish men, led me to my husband of now 28 years, and 5 wonderful children.

You can trust God. He is protecting you from a man who has proven himself to be unworthy of YOU.

Beautifully said! I agree wholeheartedly.

 

[chevalier]

Thanks for the responses everyone. Yes, it was something sexual that I know God wouldn’t approve of.

You did the right thing not going along with it. To miss him now is a normal thing, but you did what was right and things developed accordingly. Trust God, He won’t leave you alone. Not all things that seem good to us are really good.

 

[barlowgirl]

Thanks again everyone! I feel so much better now. God bless you all!

 

[SomeCatholicGuy]

Can anyone give me some advice on how to move on a trust God again?

You can always trust God. And sometimes His greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. As for how to move on, well, the best advice I can give you is to find someone new; otherwise, focus on something like a hobby or something.

 

[shannyk]

Thanks for the responses everyone. Yes, it was something sexual that I know God wouldn’t approve of.

Then his absence from your life is a BLESSING. God is answering your prayers and leading you to the right man for you by leading this jerk (yes he’s a jerk if he asked you to do something immoral) away from you.

you know the fish in the sea saying? well it’s true, especially for a woman like YOU Don’t loose heart, the right man is out there hoping for a woman like you.