relationship advice...

[zagjames]

Hey so I have a question…

I have a girlfriend who is not Catholic, she goes to a FourSquare Pentacostal Church in the summer with her dad, but she is not that religious. I on the other hand try to be pious and live my faith everyday. I fail and sometimes it is she who tempts me to those failings (I know ultimatly they are my failings). My worries focus around her faith and morals.

She opposes alot of Catholic moral teachings as rediculous such as: contraception, traditional marriage, and sexual life as a whole. Often I am bothered by her hedonism. Even when she deals with church it seems to be not as good if its not fun or exciting all the time. However at times she seems to get better. She knows how important my faith is to me, and she knows that I would likely not marry someone who wasnt Catholic. She has told me that she has and in the future will consider the posibility of conversion. However even with her saying this I don’t know if her views will change, and her best friend seems to lure her further from godliness at every turn and more towards materialism and hedonism.

I love her very much and I do not want to break up with her, but I can’t be comfertable with what she believes, and I don’t like the fact that she ridicules my moral beliefs as rediculous. I really don’t know what to do.

At the same time all of this is going on I have a strong desire to enter the seminary. I have had a desire in some degree to do so for around 2 or 2 1/2 years now. It is especially strong right now, and I worry that it is because of my frustration with my girlfriend. I have recently started going to daily mass, and serving as an alter server for masses at my college and pray for God’s guidence in my discernment.

I am constantly conflicted. I have a battle going on inside of me as to whether or not I should stay with my girlfriend or if I should maybe date other people. And then I have the other battle of whether I should date at all and instead answer the call to the priesthood.

Advice please?

 

[Didi]

Do you have a spiritual advisor and/or priest you could confide in to guide you on your possible vocation as a priest or vocation as a married person? Sounds like you are at a real crossroads and need someone who can get to know you better than we can through this forum.

In looking for a potential spouse, you want someone who is compatible with your morals and values, especially because married life means being open to having children, and you want your children raised in the faith.

Married life is a vocation just as the priesthood is, so it’s important for you to treat it as such, not just that you like a particular girl and don’t want to break up with her.

Can you see yourself with this girl for a lifetime?
Can you see having children with her?
Can you see her as a mother?
Will she help you in your journey to heaven? (That’s part of being a good spouse.)

Just some food for thought.

God bless you and direct you as you face these important decisions. Ask for the Holy Spirit to direct your path!

 

[LSK]

You know what is so difficult about giving an opinion on these kind of questions is that my mind goes to this question: exactly what is it that a good, Catholic man is in love with here?
I don’t mean to be rude or mean, believe me. I have struggled in the past with being attracted to someone who was clearly ‘bad’ for me. It was very difficult to admit to two things: first, that it was a chemical attraction thing and not love and second, I hung on hoping to ‘change’ him because I was afraid to be alone. I am very grateful that I broke free - and it was hearing something on EWTN a long time ago that really has helped me since then: look for a partner who loves God more than he or she loves YOU.

You are in my prayers…have courage!

 

[JFonseka]

“What hath righteous with unrighteousness” immediately springs to mind.

Also remember when you two get married and have sex you aren’t allowed to use contraception and sometimes the natural family planning method fails and you will end up with a child, for some couples this fails and since your gf is against the church’s teachings on that issue she may leave you or get fed up with having so many children and etc. This is not the only problem, a whole host of other problems will arise, the Church’s teachings are there for a reason and blatantly not following is a serious moral risk.

Pray for her, the choice is yours whatever happens.

 

[ljprevo]

I know you are not going to want to hear this, but I recommend breaking it off with her.

Before I met my wife I was seeing a girl who was Pentecostal and had some friend who were Pentecostal and it was nothing but trouble. The Pentecostal religion has a deep dislike of the Catholic Church and if she is sucked into that, you will have trouble.

After I broke it off with the last girl, I made a vow to myself that I would not date anyone unless they were Catholic and not just a “Convenience Catholic” one that took our faith very serious and was practicing.

I set my standards and low and behold I found my wife. We were just married last month and it was the best wedding ever!

At first I asked an aunt of mine, is it ok that I will not date anyone unless they share our faith, she said there is nothing wrong with that. Your faith is (or should be) the “CORE” of you and should be the most imporatant aspect of your life and your mate should share that same “CORE” If they don’t you will have problems.

 

[ljprevo]

look for a partner who loves God more than he or she loves YOU.

Ding, Ding, Ding, I second that VERY MUCH so.

 

[ljprevo]

And then I have the other battle of whether I should date at all and instead answer the call to the priesthood.

Advice please?

Sorry had to advise here as well.

You have a calling to the priesthood and don’t know if you should answer that call?

As youself are you doing what “YOU” want or are you doing what “God” wants, should be the question.

If you honestly have that calling, I would hope you follow that.

Let me see

Pentacostal girlfriend which could cause trouble in the religious area of your life

or

Call to the Priesthood that has NO conflict about religion in your life at all.

Hummm…