Relationship and struggle for purity

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PeaceInChrist

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I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful young woman. She is devoutly Catholic, as am I. We love one another, and maintain a pure relationship. We have had some trouble with excessive kissing, but we placed restrictions so as to avoid sin. We are both in our twenties. There is no other woman I’d rather be with, and if it is God’s will, I would love to marry her someday.

I am, however, plagued by sins of lust. I have struggled against pornography for many years, and several months ago fell back into this habit. I have been struggling against this and masturbation, but am seeming to gain little ground. I am working on my prayer life, am involved in Bible studies, and go to confession at least once a week to help with this fight, but I fear I will not prevail. I am also seeking spiritual direction.

When looking at another thread on this site, one of the negative traits for a woman to leave a man was that he views pornography. I can clearly see why, as it is very destructive to a soul and the ability to love. This troubled me, though. My sins are obvious grievous. Do I deserve to be with her? Should I end this relationship because of my faults? I don’t want her to be with someone if they aren’t good enough for her, even if that someone is me. I truly don’t know what to do. Any insight would be appreciated. Please be charitable.
 
A lot of us either have struggled with this or are still struggling with it. Please, please, stop looking at the porn! It can have so many consequences. Find an accountability partner - do whatever it takes. Don’t try to fight it on your own. But fight it. See the “Chastity” tab at the top of this forum.
 
I think that thread ment to look at porn and not feel no guilt, if its a addiction and your trying to quit, then no, don’t break up with her,
 
Hi!

I don’t have any particular advice, but I just wanted to say, as a woman, if I met a guy like you, who obviously desires to be pure and rid of these bad habits, and loves his faith, I wouldn’t want him to leave me. You sound like you love her, and don’t want to hurt her by these sins, and that is rare. Most guys don’t see any problem with these things or how much they hurt women, and the fact that you do is inspiring!!

Do you deserve to be with her? I really don’t think anyone is deserving of love, considering the baggage we all carry. But again, you asking that shows you recognize how special she is, which is hard to find nowadays.

So I guess my only advice is don’t despair. God is more powerful than our sins, he WILL free you! And maybe, this will be extremely painful, but…tell her your struggles, tell her what you just told us. If you say it the same way you did here I can’t see any woman in her right mind leaving you. We all have sins that torture us. Perhaps she can help you,

Anyway, sorry if this wasn’t much help, I just wanted to give my perspective, and from what I can see you’re a good guy. Keep up the regular prayer and confession, there’s no limit to His mercy!
 
Robyn_p said:
Hi!

I don’t have any particular advice, but I just wanted to say, as a woman, if I met a guy like you, who obviously desires to be pure and rid of these bad habits, and loves his faith, I wouldn’t want him to leave me. You sound like you love her, and don’t want to hurt her by these sins, and that is rare. Most guys don’t see any problem with these things or how much they hurt women, and the fact that you do is inspiring!!

Do you deserve to be with her? I really don’t think anyone is deserving of love, considering the baggage we all carry. But again, you asking that shows you recognize how special she is, which is hard to find nowadays.

So I guess my only advice is don’t despair. God is more powerful than our sins, he WILL free you! And maybe, this will be extremely painful, but…tell her your struggles, tell her what you just told us. If you say it the same way you did here I can’t see any woman in her right mind leaving you. We all have sins that torture us. Perhaps she can help you,

Anyway, sorry if this wasn’t much help, I just wanted to give my perspective, and from what I can see you’re a good guy. Keep up the regular prayer and confession, there’s no limit to His mercy!
Click to expand...
I second this!
 
PeaceInChrist said:
but I fear I will not prevail.
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Your only mistake!!

Throw the entire weight of your will against this sin (difficult since this one splits the will in two) and God will take care of the rest. Be merciless with Satan. Whatever tempts you, whatever endangers you, have no tolerance for it.

Daily Rosary! It only takes around 20 minutes, and over time you will notice changes in yourself.

And most of all: if you fall, DON’T dwell on it, confess, and keep going! Who do you think wins a race, one who stumbles and lies there, or one who stumbles but charges ahead?

The cross has won heaven for us. Don’t let any demon dare to keep you back. Eyes on the prize and full steam ahead! 👍
 
Whether you deserve her or not is up to you two, but it seems like you’re very in love and very dedicated to her. I suggest that you seek help from websites that battle impurity, or/and talk to your girlfriend about your problem. She may be able to help you battle impurity. After all, she is one of the reasons why you want to battle impurity. I know that sounds silly, but I’m sure it’ll be a great help, because she can be there for you when you need her and it would probably build a closer bond between you two.
 
Brothers/sisters,

For anyone struggling with pornography: Please visit settingcaptivesfree.com Thousands are free through their Bible based course including myself after 13 years of bondage!!!
 
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