S
sicutincensum
Guest
Dear friends,
Last night I broke up an one year relationship with a girl, this after spending two years being dedicated to her. I am… I cannot even describe it.
Essentially it became a “I’ll try to repair what is broken” relationship. She has a very serious social handicap: she is extremely suspicious, and so tends to see evil pretty much everywhere (almost on a pathological degree, while her mother has this same problem but already with a pathological character, e.g. her mother believes the food may be poisoned, that she is being spied, etc.). I became aware of this problem some months after our relationship began, but have since (with the advice of trusted friends, of her spiritual director, of a catholic shrink) tried to “repair her”. I am very aware this is an extremely dangerous thing to do, but since all the advises were in that direction and since I loved her so much, I decided to give it a try, although I knew success would be unlikely.
But in the last months, and especially in the last weeks, I started noticing I was giving too much of myself, and that I had no strength to continue trying to help her. I began having difficulty to sleep, to study, and even to treat her kindly.
Since our relation began to degenerate due to my exhaustion, I thought the only course of action was to break-up. So I took courage yesterday and told her… she didn’t react well. I explained her all this, and told her that I had discerned that it wouldn’t work. She replied that if I loved her, I would help her overcome her problems. I replied that I had tried everything, but I felt I was being dragged to the hole, and it was time to depart, I had no option. She was so, so sad.
And I only feel like crying when I think of her. I think I’ve done the right thing, but it hurts so much… We had so much in common. Now I can’t even bear the mention of her name, or of her city, or of things related to her, or I feel like crying.
Oh, life is so difficult indeed…
Please pray for her, that she might sanctify herself, and for me too… And that we may overcome this huge burden of sadness.
Last night I broke up an one year relationship with a girl, this after spending two years being dedicated to her. I am… I cannot even describe it.
Essentially it became a “I’ll try to repair what is broken” relationship. She has a very serious social handicap: she is extremely suspicious, and so tends to see evil pretty much everywhere (almost on a pathological degree, while her mother has this same problem but already with a pathological character, e.g. her mother believes the food may be poisoned, that she is being spied, etc.). I became aware of this problem some months after our relationship began, but have since (with the advice of trusted friends, of her spiritual director, of a catholic shrink) tried to “repair her”. I am very aware this is an extremely dangerous thing to do, but since all the advises were in that direction and since I loved her so much, I decided to give it a try, although I knew success would be unlikely.
But in the last months, and especially in the last weeks, I started noticing I was giving too much of myself, and that I had no strength to continue trying to help her. I began having difficulty to sleep, to study, and even to treat her kindly.
Since our relation began to degenerate due to my exhaustion, I thought the only course of action was to break-up. So I took courage yesterday and told her… she didn’t react well. I explained her all this, and told her that I had discerned that it wouldn’t work. She replied that if I loved her, I would help her overcome her problems. I replied that I had tried everything, but I felt I was being dragged to the hole, and it was time to depart, I had no option. She was so, so sad.
And I only feel like crying when I think of her. I think I’ve done the right thing, but it hurts so much… We had so much in common. Now I can’t even bear the mention of her name, or of her city, or of things related to her, or I feel like crying.
Oh, life is so difficult indeed…
Please pray for her, that she might sanctify herself, and for me too… And that we may overcome this huge burden of sadness.
