Relationship ended tonight

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Flash46196

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Well it was a good run,

I’m a militant atheist, I was dating a hardcore Catholic girl, we dated for ten months. But it was about a year ago that I took her out for supper, and a Spanish guitar show that we never got to.

We went to a wedding tonight, at the end of the night she dropped me at my car, pulled back from a hug and a kiss, and I felt it, and I knew.

Such is life I suppose. I did my best to be a good man in her life, and she did say that I strengthened her faith, and forced her to learn more about her beliefs to talk to me, so perhaps that was my role in her life.

She does love me, she says so, and I believe her. But she brings up important issues like the raising of children and other things. They are real issues, and would not go away overnight.

Anyways, I am pretty lost right now, I know this will be a really really really hard next little while. I made her a promise a long time ago that I wanted what was best for her, and I admitted at the time it may not be me. I promised that I would not try and hold on for selfish reasons. Or fight for her, or make appeals and pleas . . . So I am not.

This just sucks. I am not doing so good about it right now.

I do love this women, it just sucks …

anyways, as part of my coping mechanism I came here, so you guys can all laugh, although I did not seek your god in my hour of need, I sure did come to this website to tell you guys . . .
 
I am sorry for your loss.

I have suffered like you, and would never laugh at another in pain.

Praying for you…

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you, blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

:crossrc:
 
And all I said when she was crying and having trouble saying anything was to tell her it was ok, and that I knew she had to do it. That it was my job to support her in this part of her life as well. That if this was what she needed to do, it was ok, and to do what she had to do.

Thats the hardest part, you know when you want to say that its worth fighting for and all that, it may be how I feel, but nope, in order to be the man I want to be, I just need to hold her hand, and then get out of her car and go.

And there is just this Pit inside, so empty. I just want to scream. and yell at the stars.

and I know this is just going to suck. . .

And I kinda know that I just need to hang on, feel the hurt when it comes. take it all in, and hurt, and just hang on, and then one day the hurt will not hurt so bad.

but I still want to ask, like. . . what the heck do I do now?

youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs
 
So sorry, for the pain of this moment, Flash. I can identify with the process your girlfriend has navigated towards this moment and what that means 10 months into the relationship. A disjunct like Catholic/Atheist would mean someone caving or divorce eventually if marriage happened. The arrival of kids would mean satisfying compromise is impossible.

So sorry for your pain today. All the best going forward into the future. :console:
 
Flash46196 said:
Well it was a good run,

I’m a militant atheist, I was dating a hardcore Catholic girl, we dated for ten months. But it was about a year ago that I took her out for supper, and a Spanish guitar show that we never got to.

We went to a wedding tonight, at the end of the night she dropped me at my car, pulled back from a hug and a kiss, and I felt it, and I knew.

Such is life I suppose. I did my best to be a good man in her life, and she did say that I strengthened her faith, and forced her to learn more about her beliefs to talk to me, so perhaps that was my role in her life.

She does love me, she says so, and I believe her. But she brings up important issues like the raising of children and other things. They are real issues, and would not go away overnight.

Anyways, I am pretty lost right now, I know this will be a really really really hard next little while. I made her a promise a long time ago that I wanted what was best for her, and I admitted at the time it may not be me. I promised that I would not try and hold on for selfish reasons. Or fight for her, or make appeals and pleas . . . So I am not.

This just sucks. I am not doing so good about it right now.

I do love this women, it just sucks …

anyways, as part of my coping mechanism I came here, so you guys can all laugh, although I did not seek your god in my hour of need, I sure did come to this website to tell you guys . . .
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We all enjoy the pain of a militant atheist. Good catholics revel in the pain and loneliness you are feeling right now… Sorry if that is the response you are after, you know you are on the wrong site. We have all been there. Being a Christian does not immur us from the pain of living. We all know the standard lines too. “buck up, plenty of fish in the sea.” All hides the gut feeling of loneliness and loss in false bonhomme.
The real irritation is the realisation that because of a lack of common values you two were possibly not a match for the long term. You admit you were a good stone to sharpen her values and her rational response to her religion. You admit she loves you. You may be too much of the gentleman in your honourable decision to walk away.
I would be tempted to fight. However you would have to realise the costly need to respect so many differences. A tall order. But this ignorant theist cares for you and wishes you luck (as that is all you have).Hee! Hee! He will even say a small prayer for you. I know, but what harm eh?
 
A piece of advice from an old lady: if you love her–truly love her–don’t be so quick to throw the relationship away–another one may not come along anytime soon. Conversely, if in your heart you know that you will not ever accept God–much less the Catholic faith—then think ahead. Just maybe it’s best for both of you that it ends now, as painful as it must be for you. As a Catholic woman myself, I can honestly say that marrying an atheist would be the ultimate deal breaker for me—but not just because of the extra problems it would bring into my life. I also would know that once that white hot passion of new love wore off, that I might be doing a disservice to my atheist husband as he would have to deal with me and my beliefs too. Your lady friend may be trying to do you a favor. Good luck and God bless!👍
 
With all due respect to you as a person, she’s a smart lady for doing so. You’ve chosen to mock Almighty God —your Creator and mine —by denying his existence and frankly, why would/should a strong Catholic lady want to look for a Godless person to be her lifelong marriage partner? The goal of a spouse is to ultimately lead each other to Heaven…but you apparently have different ideas and beliefs. Were you planning to help direct her into your sorry atheistic state as well?

I see this breakup as a good thing for her spiritual benefit and maybe the God you deny is trying to lead you to Him as a result of this.
 
I hope you don’t really think that we will enjoy your pain, because it is not so. In fact, I believe most of us will pray for you. I will certainly do so.
 
I’m so sorry for your breakup. This is a very difficult time for both of you. I would hope that no one here would laugh at you and your situation.

It says a lot about the type of man you are that you are willing to do what is best for her.

BTW: I will be praying for both of you.😉
 
Flash46196 said:
I’m a militant atheist
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That’s your first problem… Why would a woman who knows that the purpose of life itself is to seek a perfect union with God, want to spend her life with someone who denies God, the very purpose of existence itself? To go through life denying the existence of God is to go through life denying there is a purpose to our existence. This girl you love may very well love you, but she has a greater love for God, and if she stayed with you, it would mean putting her children in danger of falling into atheism.

Atheism is not a logical conclusion, but rather a psychological mindset. I would suggest you open yourself to God. The language of God is silence. Prayer is a dialogue with God, and the way to pray is to speak from your heart to Him. Ask Him for the gift of Faith. Once you humble yourself to do this, God will respond in His own way.

God is the source of goodness, truth, and beauty—because He IS Truth, Goodness, and Beauty itself. Thus the purpose of your mind and will is God. The girl you love knows this, and she, as a Catholic, is praying that someday you might realize. This life of yours will be over before you know it; it would be a shame to go through it missing the very point of it.
http://imageshack.com/scaled/800x600/513/jmlg.jpg
 
I can’t laugh at you, not even a small smirk. Your pain is so real in you’re writings and it will be with you every time you wake up. It is small comfort indeed to know that it is probably for the best as the two of you are so opposed to each other and any compromise would only fester.

My only question for you is are you truly an atheist or are you angry at the Church (or God)? Go someplace quiet to think ( and listen ) if only to yourself.
 
:rotfl:

This is hilarious, because women never break up with Catholic guys!

Honestly, dude, why would people laugh at you? Nearly everyone has faced heartache over a relationship, regardless of color, creed, or nation of origin.

It sucks. The first woman I was truly in love with destroyed me. Almost.

The clichéd advice is 100 % true: you will heal with time. It might take a few miserable months, but you will get better.

I think, if you really, truly love her and you really truly see yourselves growing old together, and she really, truly loves you…then you ought to give some consideration to what you need to do.

But I would say this: if the only way to win her heart is for you to find Faith, and you do find Faith for her sake, then it won’t work. You have to accept God from within, not for her and not for your relationship.
 
mwncheesehead said:
With all due respect to you as a person, she’s a smart lady for doing so. You’ve chosen to mock Almighty God —your Creator and mine —by denying his existence and frankly, why would/should a strong Catholic lady want to look for a Godless person to be her lifelong marriage partner? The goal of a spouse is to ultimately lead each other to Heaven…but you apparently have different ideas and beliefs. Were you planning to help direct her into your sorry atheistic state as well?

I see this breakup as a good thing for her spiritual benefit and maybe the God you deny is trying to lead you to Him as a result of this.
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Your heartbreak and sadness is indeed very understandable. As a Christian, I just want you to know that all of us don’t feel the same way—nor do we all feel that we have the God-given right to judge you or the fact that you are an atheist.

I have found basically that there are really only two types of real atheists. The first type consists of the very young (teens and young adults–of which I was once one of) who question everything–particularly things that are intangible such as God. That is the very nature of the age and the cure for it is usually education and tincture-of-time…

The second type are folks who have been disappointed somehow in finding a relationship with God where they can see Him acting in their own life–thus, since they don’t see the proof that He’s there, they believe that He must not exist. This second type may later believe–but only if something does occur in their personal existence that makes them feel that a heavenly intervention had to have occurred at some level–as they can’t find any other logical explanationl. These are the more “hard core” cases–as short of them being diagnosed with cancer and it suddenly going into remission, or their becoming destitute or an alcoholic and a street missionary pulling them up by their bootstraps, they aren’t actively looking and so they often don’t passively find. Still and all–God does sometimes intervene and “slap them up side the head” as we say in Texas, and at some point in their life they finally begin to believe—but certainly not always.

There’s also sort of a third group, or hybrid, in my opinion as well. Those are the folks who are technically only actual agnostics and aren’t truly non-believers entirely, but who call themselves atheists because while they’d really love to believe–they haven’t yet completely found a good reason to wrap their mind around the concept of God existing and don’t want to waste their time and life believing in something that they aren’t really sure IS actually real. Those are the folks that I call the “lookers and seekers”. If you are one of that 3rd group–I will take Pope Francis’ stand–continue to try to live a good life, be honest, choose doing good over doing harm and follow your conscience. Usually, if you take that approach, God will eventually come to you and drag you kicking and screaming all the way into believing in Him! LOL! What is the old saying? “There are no atheists in a fox hole during a battle.” And believe me, as you go through life–you’ll find that some days it’s just plain WW3 out there! Good luck again!
 
An atheist that I was once very close to once, said in response to my comment “but you don’t believe in God”… “I didn’t say I didn’t believe in God, but I reject God”. He called himself atheist though.
 
I’m not laughing at your pain because my heart goes out to you. We’ve all been there, and it’s hard.

I know that you either don’t believe, or choose to reject Our Lord. He doesn’t reject you though. I wish you knew of His love for you, because then you wouldn’t feel the need to scream in pain at the stars and the vast nothingness. Instead you could lay your pain at his feet, which were crucified out of love for you.

God Bless
 
Thanks folks, for the thoughts.

I think a part of me was hoping that you guys would all say they “well what did you expect you heathen” that would have made this easier.

Anyways, she is coming over today and I think we are stamping out the formalities. I guess I will get my ipod and headphones back, and my Fiskers Axe, lol…

someone kick me in the stomach please so that I can blame this feeling on somthing physical .
 
First of all…it ain’t the end of the world be you atheist, agnostic, Catholic, Jew, etc., etc., etc.! It hurts and will for a while, but hey, that’s life! Welcome to the club brother! How many people would like to be in your shoes right now? Think about that one for a few. :cool:

Second of all…who’s to say that she doesn’t meet Mr. Right (Catholic man) and later on finds out that he’s no bargain? Hey, it happens…Catholic or not! 🤷

If it is meant to be then it will!

One more thing…if you are going to try to believe in God then don’t do it for her sake…do it because you want to for yourself. In other words, “To thy own self be true”!

You could always say, hey God, if you’re real then make me a believer! After all God CAN DO ANYTHING! What do you really have to lose? Keep an open mind! Heck, you might even become a better believer than she! :eek:

Mike
 
I must say she is a ‘better man’ than you in that she is much more mature and sees that down the line it would never work. At least not with your present immaturity. She is strong; much stronger than you. You now realize you have made a terrible mistake. Pride now holds you back.

Yes you’re the one with problems - you need to sort yourself out. By that time I guess the girl will be happily(dully) married with 3-4 kids, and sometimes wondering whatever happened to -------…

We all come to a ‘fork in the road.’ I am so sorry you took the wrong turning. Does any one really care you are a militant atheist except this girl? Fighting imaginary dragons and will-o-the-wisps?

Come back here in 60years and tell us if you really really made the right decision. Frankly I don’t think you would be here right now if you really believed that.

Love conquers all…lets see if your love can conquer your militant pride/fear and open your heart to other immense possibilities of happiness.

Somehow I don’t think it is over yet…Good luck as you review the situation.
 
Flash46196 said:
Anyways, she is coming over today and I think we are stamping out the formalities. I guess I will get my ipod and headphones back, and my Fiskers Axe, lol…
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huh. I didnt’ know Fiskars made an ax. Cool. I’ll have to take a look at those.
 
tobbias88 said:
I must say she is a ‘better man’ than you in that she is much more mature and sees that down the line it would never work. At least not with your present immaturity. She is strong; much stronger than you. You now realize you have made a terrible mistake. Pride now holds you back.
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I think you’re being harsh. I’m all about tough love, but being blinded by love and emotions and not being able to see down the line has little to do with strength and maturity.
 
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