Relationship in the gutter.

[jenlovesyu]

You need to start shedding a few tears of your own. That may be the only thing that helps.

Reading this thread is literally making me want to cry.

Dear sir, your girlfriend can not possibly regain her happiness if you keep sleeping with her! I am not here to judge. Nor is anyone else here really. I think you should sit down and think real hard about this:

you either love the sex or your girlfriend more.

Please don’t exploit her anymore. I can feel her pain. I know what it’s like to be with a guy who cares more about his own feelings than his own girlfriends’ whom he claims to love “more than anything.”

Please don’t tell us that you’re that kind of guy. Please prove us wrong. If you love your girlfriend, you’ll stop having sex with her. A practicing Catholic does not actively engage in sex outside of marriage. If you sincerely want to help her come back to the Faith you’ll do everything you can to help her avoid sin. If you don’t know what is sinful, you’ll learn. It’s that simple.

I will pray for you and your girlfriend.

 

[Norseman82]

I had edited my previous post to get rid of the negativity, but after reading the following, the gloves simply have to be dropped, because you simply are not “getting it”:

I don’t think I am evil. Maybe I made a mistake, but isn’t it human to make mistakes? Am I evil just because of this thing that happened with my girlfriend?

Well, one posiive thing I can say for you is that you probably will not develop colon cancer anytime in the near future, considering that you have your head stuck so far up your rear end you can simply open your eyes to give yourself your own colonoscomy.

A MISTAKE? SIMPLY HUMAN to MAKE MISTAKES? A mistake that just “happened” to your girlfriend?

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

Do you have ANY concept of what you did?

Killing a person’s faith is a pretty BIG “mistake”. And it didn’t just “happen” to her; YOU did it to her.

Are you evil? Well, if you are not evil, you certainly are cooperating with it. And you will continue to be cooperating with it until you stop rationalizing what you have done and what you are continuing to do.

 

[Persuader]

Personally I have always loved science and have read books by many scientists who were also atheists, and their view of the world had always struck me as very positive and awe inspiring. What gives a person meaning really depends on the person. For me, science has always made me feel closer to an understanding of God than anything else. (And it wasn’t particularly important to me about what should be meant by God. )

If she is that kind of person, being exposed to that kind of thinking might help her to regain her love of existence.

Secondly, a person’s happiness and love of life doesn’t necessarily depend on their philosophical point of view. It often depends on much more mundane things like what they eat, how they sleep, whether they exercise, whether they have a good group of friends, whether their relationships with their family is good, whether their job/program of study is interesting, whether they have hobbies they’re excited to participate in.

Sometimes it’s a matter of chemical imbalances. I don’t know how severe her situation is, but hey she might have a mental disorder that needs to be treated with medication and not philosophy.

I agree with what you said about science and meaning.

I know that happiness has a lot to do with genetics and factors that is not really relevant to your views on life. It seems to me that she has linked her happiness to her faith in a very strong way, because all the factors you mentioned was fine. She was execising, seeing friends and family, eating healthy, doing well at school, and even doing some charity work. She was really shining, and all my friend were very jealous when I was able to land her.

Because she used to be so strong, her reaction has really surprised me. It might be some disorder or something, I do not know. I am going to insist that she sees a psychiatrist or psychologist.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

I really regret that the view you have taken of me, and I don’t think it is justified.

I’m with her mother. I see the world through the eyes of someone who gave birth to a child and nurtured it for decades and taught it the love of God. And I understand how a mother wouldn’t buy your come along lately meddling and wrecking her beautiful daughter who used to be full of joy before you came along.

Leave the details of your lovemaking out of it. It makes this all even more icky and you sound like you’re bragging. When you’re confusing the girl more because she’s confusing physical pleasure with you with happiness. She used to have true happiness. Now she has a false version. Just because YOU don’t think so doesn’t make it so.

You keep talking about your connection with her as if it’s the only thing that matters. That connection may be good for you, but you are not good for her. She is not a better and happier person for knowing you. For any relationship to work, God must be a part of it. It doesn’t matter if you believe that or not. Your own relationship is evidence of that fact. If all you have is sex, you have nothing with her. But you’ve helped alienate her from her family and from her God.

By the way, evil exists in the world because God gave people intellect and free will. The kind of intellect that can convince itself to deny reality and the freedom to act on that. So people are free to choose what is not good. But then they act surprised when life is…not good.

God respected her enough to give her an intellect. She has wasted it listening to you convince her God doesn’t exist. He gave her the freedom to follow His plan for her as HE created her, or to follow what makes YOU feel good. She chose badly. Now she is unhappy.

You keep asking what you can do. We’ve told you. Use your intellect to educate yourself. Read the Bible. Read the Catholic Catechism. Greater minds than yours wrote that stuff.

I promise you. You’re also no match for St. Thomas Aquinas. Try reading his works. Start with his Summa Theologica.

And keep your hands off the poor girl. Deep down she knows she’s going to pay for it in eternity. She’s baptized and a child of God. She belongs to God. He loves her more than you ever will. He died for her. You can’t even get out of her bed for a while to help her feel better.

Are you her “first”? That would also explain a lot. And if so, you have really messed with her head and heart and soul in a way that you cannot begin to imagine.

 

[Persuader]

Reading this thread is literally making me want to cry.

Dear sir, your girlfriend can not possibly regain her happiness if you keep sleeping with her! I am not here to judge. Nor is anyone else here really. I think you should sit down and think real hard about this:

you either love the sex or your girlfriend more.

Please don’t exploit her anymore. I can feel her pain. I know what it’s like to be with a guy who cares more about his own feelings than his own girlfriends’ whom he claims to love “more than anything.”

Please don’t tell us that you’re that kind of guy. Please prove us wrong. If you love your girlfriend, you’ll stop having sex with her. A practicing Catholic does not actively engage in sex outside of marriage. If you sincerely want to help her come back to the Faith you’ll do everything you can to help her avoid sin. If you don’t know what is sinful, you’ll learn. It’s that simple.

I will pray for you and your girlfriend.

Look, I have said that I am willing to cut out the sex. The primary reason I am reluctant, is because of how important it is to the both of us. If I thought it would only be me who suffered, I would do it. But I am afraid that she might take it the wrong way. I do not want her to think that I am rejecting her.

I do love her, and I will consider cutting out the sex after trying some other things first. I am grateful that you all gave me that perspective on sex, because I hadn’t really thougt that she might be ashamed of it. I really don’t think she is either, she is certainly enjoying it at the very least, but if nothing else works, I will try this.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

It should be the first thing you try.

When she talks to her priest and goes to confession he won’t absolve her and she won’t hear him say that God forgives her unless she promises to avoid the sin in the future.

You are keeping her from that.

And keeping her from peace of soul. By the way, Bishop Fulton Sheen said it best. There are a lot of people on their backs on psychiatrist couches who would profit more on their knees in the confessional.

You can tell her you aren’t rejecting her. That you are sorry you made her a worse person. That you will give that up and have a pure love.

You might find she’s relieved.

Guilt has a way of eating away at someone. We weren’t created to give ourselves like that to everyone in the world. God created sex to be shared with a man and a wife. You have not married her. You have no rights to her body. So let her have a relationship with you based on other things and not the shortcut of sex. That’s taking an unfair advantage. She may see you more objectively if you do. Or are you afraid of that?

 

[Persuader]

I had edited my previous post to get rid of the negativity, but after reading the following, the gloves simply have to be dropped, because you simply are not “getting it”:

Well, one posiive thing I can say for you is that you probably will not develop colon cancer anytime in the near future, considering that you have your head stuck so far up your rear end you can simply open your eyes to give yourself your own colonoscomy.

A MISTAKE? SIMPLY HUMAN to MAKE MISTAKES? A mistake that just “happened” to your girlfriend?

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

Do you have ANY concept of what you did?

Killing a person’s faith is a pretty BIG “mistake”. And it didn’t just “happen” to her; YOU did it to her.

Are you evil? Well, if you are not evil, you certainly are cooperating with it. And you will continue to be cooperating with it until you stop rationalizing what you have done and what you are continuing to do.

Maybe the choice of words were not wise. It is a big mistake in the sense that it influenced her in a very negative way. But this was not my intention, nor did I really attempt to change her mind. We only had discussions and arguments about this. I didn’t pester her, or tell her what she should believe. I simply made my case to her when we talked about it.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Okay, you don’t know how the mind of a young girl in love works.

She thinks she is in love with you. You have bonded sexually with her and that has changed everything. She is now subconsciously trying to conform her mind to yours to be really united on all levels with you. But she knows it’s not real deep down. And she knows the sex is wrong. A few months with you is battling 19 years or so of her upbringing.

If you had some morals and didn’t sleep with people you weren’t married to, your words and persuasion may not have had the hold on her and she wouldn’t have this desire to fuse her brain to yours as well.

Stop sleeping with her. Tell her you may have been mistaken about the importance of God in people’s lives. Let her family deprogram her from your (name removed by moderator)ut. Maybe they’ll find the remnants of who she used to be in that pile you left behind. Maybe they’ll be able to help her pick herself up and go on.

And consider that someday she may shudder at the very thought of you and the downward spiral you started in her life.

Your views make you happy. You fail to see they are an utter failure among most people of the world. Even one you claim to love. But because you’re happy, that’s all that matters.

She was happier before you started sleeping with her. So all your bedroom adventures really aren’t worth bragging about. Get over yourself.

Maybe someday she will too.

 

[Persuader]

I’m with her mother. I see the world through the eyes of someone who gave birth to a child and nurtured it for decades and taught it the love of God. And I understand how a mother wouldn’t buy your come along lately meddling and wrecking her beautiful daughter who used to be full of joy before you came along.

Leave the details of your lovemaking out of it. It makes this all even more icky and you sound like you’re bragging. When you’re confusing the girl more because she’s confusing physical pleasure with you with happiness. She used to have true happiness. Now she has a false version. Just because YOU don’t think so doesn’t make it so.

You keep talking about your connection with her as if it’s the only thing that matters. That connection may be good for you, but you are not good for her. She is not a better and happier person for knowing you. For any relationship to work, God must be a part of it. It doesn’t matter if you believe that or not. Your own relationship is evidence of that fact. If all you have is sex, you have nothing with her. But you’ve helped alienate her from her family and from her God.

By the way, evil exists in the world because God gave people intellect and free will. The kind of intellect that can convince itself to deny reality and the freedom to act on that. So people are free to choose what is not good. But then they act surprised when life is…not good.

God respected her enough to give her an intellect. She has wasted it listening to you convince her God doesn’t exist. He gave her the freedom to follow His plan for her as HE created her, or to follow what makes YOU feel good. She chose badly. Now she is unhappy.

You keep asking what you can do. We’ve told you. Use your intellect to educate yourself. Read the Bible. Read the Catholic Catechism. Greater minds than yours wrote that stuff.

I promise you. You’re also no match for St. Thomas Aquinas. Try reading his works. Start with his Summa Theologica.

And keep your hands off the poor girl. Deep down she knows she’s going to pay for it in eternity. She’s baptized and a child of God. She belongs to God. He loves her more than you ever will. He died for her. You can’t even get out of her bed for a while to help her feel better.

Are you her “first”? That would also explain a lot. And if so, you have really messed with her head and heart and soul in a way that you cannot begin to imagine.

Look, I am educated. I have read about religion. I do not think more reading will persuade me, and I think it would be a waste of time.

Our relationship is not only based on sex. As I have said, I am willing to cut out the sex. The reason I am reluctant has nothing to do with what I want, it has everything to do with what I believe she wants. I think she wants to have sex, and I am afraid she might take it the wrong way if I try to refuse her. I am not bragging about the sex, I am simply explaining why I think she enjoys it, and why I think it is making her happy.

And yes, I am her first lover, but she is not my first. It took some time before we had sex. We made sure it was based on love and genuin affection, and this made it so much better in my opinion. I am sure you would agree. This is also some of the reason I am reluctant to give it up, as she did make the decision to have sex before she lost her faith. It seems to me that it took a lot for her to give up her virginity, and she has talked about marriage. I do not want her to think I am rejecting her as her lover, because I am afraid she might think she made a mistake in sleeping with me in the sense that she might think I have been taking advantage of her. I have not. If I did, I would have pushed her, and I didn’t.

I might be wrong about the sex, and maybe I will cut it out after trying some other things.

 

[Persuader]

It should be the first thing you try.

When she talks to her priest and goes to confession he won’t absolve her and she won’t hear him say that God forgives her unless she promises to avoid the sin in the future.

You are keeping her from that.

And keeping her from peace of soul. By the way, Bishop Fulton Sheen said it best. There are a lot of people on their backs on psychiatrist couches who would profit more on their knees in the confessional.

You can tell her you aren’t rejecting her. That you are sorry you made her a worse person. That you will give that up and have a pure love.

You might find she’s relieved.

Guilt has a way of eating away at someone. We weren’t created to give ourselves like that to everyone in the world. God created sex to be shared with a man and a wife. You have not married her. You have no rights to her body. So let her have a relationship with you based on other things and not the shortcut of sex. That’s taking an unfair advantage. She may see you more objectively if you do. Or are you afraid of that?

No, I am not afraid. I know she respects me. I am afraid that she might think I am rejecting her, though. If I could be more sure that cutting out the sex would help, I would try it right now. For the time being, I think I should try some other things first. Like reading books with her about how to find happiness, and making sure she sees a psychiatrist. I will also do my best to patch up the relationship with her parents, as I have tried to do since these problems started.

 

[Norseman82]

Someone has to play the “bad cop”, so I guess it has to be me.

Maybe the choice of words were not wise. It is a big mistake in the sense that it influenced her in a very negative way. But this was not my intention, nor did I really attempt to change her mind. We only had discussions and arguments about this. I didn’t pester her, or tell her what she should believe. I simply made my case to her when we talked about it.

Let me remind you of your own words in your initial post here in this thread:

In the beginning, I thought it would be good that she lost her faith, but the consequenses have been terrible. I have tried to advance the positives of a life without God, but she isn’t buying it, and I am almost ready to give up on trying to make her adopt a more positive world view.

After all this, do you honestly believe that life without God is positive? Don’t you see the misery it has created? How can you still believe that tripe after seeing firsthand what it has done?

To be blunt, I don’t know if you can fix it. Or if you can, it is going to be a long journey and not something that can be done overnight. But get this straight, YOU HAVE WORK TO DO.

Stop sleeping with her. NOW!!! You are lucky that if she has any brothers, they have not yet invited you to open spar night at a gym with an octagon (and if you were her “first”, there may be other men in her future who have to deal with the afternath of this and who may have played by the rules only to have been cheated by YOU of the 100% that she could exchange for the 100% they would be giving her and who would like nothing more than some octagon time with you).

WAKE UP! This is what life without God does. You pride yourself on intellectual ability. Does this whole fiasco not convince you that you are WRONG WRONG WRONG?

Maybe that simple admission will be the first step back. Try it. Maybe if you tell her she was right in the first place about God AND BELIEVE IT IN YOUR HEART that then she will not feel rejected over the loss of sex. Maybe stopping sex because you admitting you were wrong and she (and her family) were right may be the turning point you seek in getting her back the life she once had. The question is, how serious are YOU in resolving this situation?

I pray the scales fall from your eyes.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

This whole thing makes me feel ill.

You have no idea what you have done.

Quit sleeping with her before you make it worse by getting her pregnant.

Sex was created by God to create babies. It is part of a permanent and exclusive commitment in marriage.

You are using her. The biggest lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves.

Once she started sleeping with you, in order not to be crushed by guilt, she had to decide in her head there was no God, hence, no sin, no guilt, no eternal punishment for her grave sin with you.

The fool in his heart says there is no God. Her head says there is no God. Her mouth says there is no God. But deep in her heart, she has the life of God within her as a baptized Christian. And that is the cause of her emotional conflict.

Again, all your actions are based on what you think and want. What does she really want? Have you asked? Or are you so impressed by making your friends jealous over your superior girlfriend that you’re not willing to stop sleeping with her.

You took away her virginity. That belonged to the man who loved her enough to marry her before he had intercourse with her. You were not that man. You were unworthy.

Someday she’s really going to detest you. I’ve seen it happen.

People with genuine affection hug each other. People who love people don’t lead them into sin. Just because you don’t think it’s a sin doesn’t matter. You might not think spitting on your hands and wiping it on someone’s face spreads germs, but what you think really doesn’t matter. Objective reality matters.

What she is doing is a sin. She knows it. She’s trying to please you because you want to do it. She’s not even honest with herself. But she is miserable. Congratulations. You’ve taken: Her virginity. Her relationship with God. Her belief in God. Her peace with her family.

She has gotten: A guy who is sleeping with her and has convinced her she has no god but him. So the virgin trotted up to the edge of that volcano and threw herself in to make the little god happy. Lot of good it did her.

It took a lot for her to give her virginity to you. You had no right to it.

Someday she’ll have to explain you to a good man and hope that he doesn’t reject her as unworthy because she was so foolish to fall for your lies.

She did make a mistake sleeping with you. She just doesn’t know it yet. But you’re going to keep that going until… she has a complete nervous breakdown? She becomes suicidal? She becomes pregnant?

Quit justifying yourself.

 

[Persuader]

Okay, you don’t know how the mind of a young girl in love works.

She thinks she is in love with you. You have bonded sexually with her and that has changed everything. She is now subconsciously trying to conform her mind to yours to be really united on all levels with you. But she knows it’s not real deep down. And she knows the sex is wrong. A few months with you is battling 19 years or so of her upbringing.

If you had some morals and didn’t sleep with people you weren’t married to, your words and persuasion may not have had the hold on her and she wouldn’t have this desire to fuse her brain to yours as well.

Stop sleeping with her. Tell her you may have been mistaken about the importance of God in people’s lives. Let her family deprogram her from your (name removed by moderator)ut. Maybe they’ll find the remnants of who she used to be in that pile you left behind. Maybe they’ll be able to help her pick herself up and go on.

And consider that someday she may shudder at the very thought of you and the downward spiral you started in her life.

Your views make you happy. You fail to see they are an utter failure among most people of the world. Even one you claim to love. But because you’re happy, that’s all that matters.

She was happier before you started sleeping with her. So all your bedroom adventures really aren’t worth bragging about. Get over yourself.

Maybe someday she will too.

What can I say? I think it is sad that you have such a negative view of me. Just because we disagree about morals and the like, does not mean I am a bastard. Your general condemnation of my views are a bit strange, as atheism and agnosticism are positivly correlated with contries that do very well on the HDI-index and other relevant tests.

I will take your advice about cutting out the sex into consideration, but I think I will try some other strategies first.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

By the way, be honest for once in your life. You worked at the beginning you said to convince her there was no God.

Makes it easier to get her in bed if she ditches that whole morality thing, right?

Well, you deflowered the virgin and you broke her in ways you can’t understand.

Reading books won’t fix it.

Quit sleeping with her.

You aren’t rejecting her. You would be repairing her. Putting your relationship on the level it deserves. You are not her husband. You don’t pay her bills and you haven’t vowed on the altar of a God you don’t believe in to take care of her for her whole life. You do not deserve her body and all the rights and priveleges of a husband.

You got what you wanted. But you had to destroy her to get it.

 

[Persuader]

Someone has to play the “bad cop”, so I guess it has to be me.

Let me remind you of your own words in your initial post here in this thread:

After all this, do you honestly believe that life without God is positive? Don’t you see the misery it has created? How can you still believe that tripe after seeing firsthand what it has done?

To be blunt, I don’t know if you can fix it. Or if you can, it is going to be a long journey and not something that can be done overnight. But get this straight, YOU HAVE WORK TO DO.

Stop sleeping with her. NOW!!! You are lucky that if she has any brothers, they have not yet invited you to open spar night at a gym with an octagon (and if you were her “first”, there may be other men in her future who have to deal with the afternath of this and who may have played by the rules only to have been cheated by YOU of the 100% that she could exchange for the 100% they would be giving her and who would like nothing more than some octagon time with you).

WAKE UP! This is what life without God does. You pride yourself on intellectual ability. Does this whole fiasco not convince you that you are WRONG WRONG WRONG?

Look, if someone is emotionally invested in something to the degree my girlfriend obviosly were, although I didn’t know the extent of it at the time, it isn’t that strange that she is struggling with losing that. That has nothing to do with the truth of the claims she used to be emotionally invested in. Therefore, this has nothing to do with whether God exists or not. So I do not agree with your analysis of the issue.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

What can I say? I think it is sad that you have such a negative view of me. Just because we disagree about morals and the like, does not mean I am a bastard. Your general condemnation of my views are a bit strange, as atheism and agnosticism are positivly correlated with contries that do very well on the HDI-index and other relevant tests.

There you go again, measuring the world by your own emotions. I guess when you don’t have a God, your own feelings become your own changing, flawed determinant of what is good or bad. My view of you is based on the fact that you are a cliche and one that never ends well for the innocent girl taken in by the lies.

Just because we disagree about morals and the like doesn’t mean you’re a what? I never used the B word. But hey… deep down maybe you have a clue how this looks to the world that does follow a moral code other than what they want at the moment they want it.

When nations disagree about morals and the like, we end up with the Holocaust, genocide, forced migrations and forced famines. Morals matter. You just don’t like that some of us don’t like your code. Your code allows you to do whatever you want, apparently. And only when it makes YOU feel bad do you start worrying.

By the way, I don’t measure countries and their value by HDI indices or any other so-called relevant tests.

Christ said man does not live by bread alone. I don’t measure a man by his bank account or the car he drives either. But I do notice when he goes through people’s lives creating pain, sorrow, dissension, loss, depression and other things. Yes, you’re a human wrecking ball. The worst kind… you don’t destroy strangers. You destroy people you claim to love.

By the way, I’ve seen atheistic countries do that to the world… inflicting pain, damage, carnage, mass murder, famines…

Stop sleeping with her. Now. She might wake up and see you for the user you are who patiently manipulated her into bed. No, you didn’t force her. You persuaded her. Your name really is indicative of your whole attitude. You persuaded her to do many things that weren’t in her best interest. Like the serpent in the garden persuaded Eve to disobey God.

You’re smooth. Just like the snake in the garden.

 

[Persuader]

This whole thing makes me feel ill.

You have no idea what you have done.

Quit sleeping with her before you make it worse by getting her pregnant.

Sex was created by God to create babies. It is part of a permanent and exclusive commitment in marriage.

You are using her. The biggest lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves.

Once she started sleeping with you, in order not to be crushed by guilt, she had to decide in her head there was no God, hence, no sin, no guilt, no eternal punishment for her grave sin with you.

The fool in his heart says there is no God. Her head says there is no God. Her mouth says there is no God. But deep in her heart, she has the life of God within her as a baptized Christian. And that is the cause of her emotional conflict.

Again, all your actions are based on what you think and want. What does she really want? Have you asked? Or are you so impressed by making your friends jealous over your superior girlfriend that you’re not willing to stop sleeping with her.

You took away her virginity. That belonged to the man who loved her enough to marry her before he had intercourse with her. You were not that man. You were unworthy.

Someday she’s really going to detest you. I’ve seen it happen.

People with genuine affection hug each other. People who love people don’t lead them into sin. Just because you don’t think it’s a sin doesn’t matter. You might not think spitting on your hands and wiping it on someone’s face spreads germs, but what you think really doesn’t matter. Objective reality matters.

What she is doing is a sin. She knows it. She’s trying to please you because you want to do it. She’s not even honest with herself. But she is miserable. Congratulations. You’ve taken: Her virginity. Her relationship with God. Her belief in God. Her peace with her family.

She has gotten: A guy who is sleeping with her and has convinced her she has no god but him. So the virgin trotted up to the edge of that volcano and threw herself in to make the little god happy. Lot of good it did her.

It took a lot for her to give her virginity to you. You had no right to it.

Someday she’ll have to explain you to a good man and hope that he doesn’t reject her as unworthy because she was so foolish to fall for your lies.

She did make a mistake sleeping with you. She just doesn’t know it yet. But you’re going to keep that going until… she has a complete nervous breakdown? She becomes suicidal? She becomes pregnant?

Quit justifying yourself.

She is using contraceptives, so she will not get pregnant. I loved her, she loved me, we wanted each other, so we had sex. I think that is fine. It might be that she doesn’t, although I doubt it, and as I said I will think about giving up sex with her.

You say it would be fine if we were married. Does that mean you think I should propose? She might very well say yes, but I think we are a bit young.

 

[Persuader]

By the way, be honest for once in your life. You worked at the beginning you said to convince her there was no God.

Makes it easier to get her in bed if she ditches that whole morality thing, right?

Well, you deflowered the virgin and you broke her in ways you can’t understand.

Reading books won’t fix it.

Quit sleeping with her.

You aren’t rejecting her. You would be repairing her. Putting your relationship on the level it deserves. You are not her husband. You don’t pay her bills and you haven’t vowed on the altar of a God you don’t believe in to take care of her for her whole life. You do not deserve her body and all the rights and priveleges of a husband.

You got what you wanted. But you had to destroy her to get it.

I didn’t say I worked on convincing her that it wasn’t a God. It was just natural that we discussed this, as we were together, and interested in each others views. She slept with me before she lost her faith. Again, do you think I should marry her? Would that make things right by your moral code?

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Look, if someone is emotionally invested in something to the degree my girlfriend obviosly were, although I didn’t know the extent of it at the time, it isn’t that strange that she is struggling with losing that. That has nothing to do with the truth of the claims she used to be emotionally invested in. Therefore, this has nothing to do with whether God exists or not. So I do not agree with your analysis of the issue.

Of course she is struggling with losing it. Because YOU took her virginity. You have no idea how a young woman bonds with the first man who has intercourse with her. After you worked and waited for months and convinced her after much struggle to give herself to you. No, it wasn’t easy for you to persuade her, was it?

The truth of the claim she used to be and still is emotionally invested in is that GOD exists, and HE created her to love a man according to HIS plan as a creator. Instead YOU came along and tried to convince her there is no creator, and that sex outside of marriage is just fun and not a serious sin and let’s do it. And so events have unfolded to prove that God’s way is the real way, not yours. She has had to convince herself there is no God in order to make you happy. And she is miserable. But there you go acting without facts. You had no idea who she really was when you jumped into her bed. But you changed her nevertheless.

Each time you have sex with her it makes it more difficult for her to break this off and see things objectively. You are exposing her to the risk of pregnancy. Stop now!

If you loved her you’d quit justifying your actions about how they make her feel, when it’s apparent your actions have driven happiness, joy and peace from her life.

I’ll let others continue with this. Your pride won’t let you admit that you don’t have all the answers.

I’ll pray for her that she sees the truth about you.

 

[monicatholic]

It seems to me that it took a lot for her to give up her virginity, and she has talked about marriage.

it took so much, she’s currently a depleted, despairing, depressed young woman. that’s how much it took. ***that’s ***how much it cost her. all of her faith, her relationship with her loving family, her peace of mind, her joy of living, her sense of hope.

the following capsulate what she lost when she lost her Faith-- if you believe these statements of faith, hope and love are insignificant to a person-- less important than say, heredity, sleep patterns, or diet-- then you are desperately WRONG. even if your girlfriend doesn’t know the precise words to these prayers, the sentiment has been burned into her heart through the astonishing grace of baptism, and through the powerful love of her family and their teaching and example.

this is what she gave up with her virginity, in order to more deeply bond with you. please read them carefully. are you worth it, Pursuader? no offense, P, but NOTHING is worth losing this. NOTHING. that’s why her heart is broken.

Act of Faith

O my God, I firmly believe
that you are one God in three divine Persons,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
I believe that your divine Son became man
and died for our sins and that he will come
to judge the living and the dead.
I believe these and all the truths
which the Holy Catholic Church teaches
because you have revealed them
who are eternal truth and wisdom,
who can neither deceive nor be deceived.
***In this faith I intend to live and die.***Amen.

Act of Hope

O Lord God,
I hope by your grace for the pardon
of all my sins
and after life here to gain eternal happiness
because you have promised it
who are infinitely powerful, faithful, kind,
and merciful.
In this hope I intend to live and die.
Amen.

Act of Love

O Lord God, I love you above all things
and I love my neighbor for your sake
because you are the highest, infinite and perfect
good, worthy of all my love.
In this love I intend to live and die.
Amen.

pursuader, your responses to esp. liber, i.e., “what you think of me…” etc are frighteningly self centered. what Lib thinks of you is not the single point in any of his/her posts. what s/he thinks of what you’ve done– based both on Lib’s interior faith and on the cold hard outcome-- that is the point.

the actions and the tragic outcome-- that is the point.

you may be educated sir, butcha ain’t smart if you can’t grasp that.

pursuader, if one is sorry for sinful actions, here is what she might say:

O my God,
I am heartily sorry for
having offended Thee,
and I detest all my sins,
because I dread the loss of heaven,
and the pains of hell;
but most of all because
they offend Thee, my God,
Who are all good and
deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve,
with the help of Thy grace,
to confess my sins,
to do penance,
and ***to amend my life. ***

here, i am asking Jesus Mother Mary to intercede for your girlfriends return to her faith. and for your conversion to Her Son, Jesus, Who is God become man for our sakes:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.