Relationship with a divorced person

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Nick003

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I’ve met a beautiful Catholic woman. She is everything I ever imagined in a woman with whom I would enter into a relationship. She is divorced. I’ve fallen in love with her.

Is there any way that God would ever smile upon this relationship?
 
Nick003 said:
I’ve met a beautiful Catholic woman. She is everything I ever imagined in a woman with whom I would enter into a relationship. She is divorced. I’ve fallen in love with her.

Is there any way that God would ever smile upon this relationship?
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Was hers a Catholic Marriage?
Can she get annulment?
why did she get divorced? I do not want to know, it is just so that there might be something hidden.
Catholic Women and the most beautiful in the World. But, behind a beautiful enveloppe there could be something tht you do not like …
Better know all the details. It is easy for a man to fall in love (love? passion only?) to a beautiful woman. truer love is to fall in love for an ugly woman.
 
YOur new friend - and that is really all she is at this point- will have to tell you whether she has sought annulment through the Church. The circumstances of her situation will be the deciding factor in whether she would or could choose to go through that process by making an application with her priest or Advocate. Meanwhile, cool your jets! Slow down and pray for patience and to know God’s will in this situation.
 
This is love, not lust I feel. I’ve felt both and I know the difference. This subject has come up and she doesn’t think she would be granted an annulment. This is why I ask if God could ever smile upon this relationship without one.

I’m 47. It is so difficult to meet someone that is eligable for marriage at my age. Everyone I meet is divorced.

Honestly, I’m afraid to grow old alone and I’ve suddenly realized that is a very real possibility for me.

It is so hard…
 
I would suggest that she apply for the annulment anyway, even though she “doesn’t think” it would be granted. There’s probably a lot about annulments that she – like most of us – doesn’t know. It wouldn’t hurt to talk to someone about it.
 
Sounds like bad news to me mate. I don’t want to be “that” person, but…

She shouldn’t be pursuing relationships at all if she doesn’t have an annulment. Even more so if she believes she won’t get one.

And you, as an upstanding, Christ-like man, shouldn’t pursue a relationship with a woman who is divorced and that hasn’t got an annulment. Even if she doesn’t see this herself, you owe it to her to break off whatever you have and whatever feelings you have. Lead her to Christ and the Church first.

I’m sorry that you are lonely. Find comfort in this friend: the Cross was a lonely place for the Saviour of the world. Perhaps God is calling you to another vocation? I wouldn’t rush things. Trust in Him, follow the Church, be prudential and things will be great. Take up your cross when things are going bad, and thank God for the opportunity to share in His suffering.
 
Nick003 said:
I’ve met a beautiful Catholic woman. She is everything I ever imagined in a woman with whom I would enter into a relationship. She is divorced. I’ve fallen in love with her.

Is there any way that God would ever smile upon this relationship?
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there is no relationship as yet, other than simple friendship, as she is a married woman unless and until she applies for and receives and annulment, that is, a declaration after full investigation that no valid marriage occurred.
 
Nick003 said:
This is love, not lust I feel. I’ve felt both and I know the difference. This subject has come up and she doesn’t think she would be granted an annulment. This is why I ask if God could ever smile upon this relationship without one.

I’m 47. It is so difficult to meet someone that is eligable for marriage at my age. Everyone I meet is divorced.

Honestly, I’m afraid to grow old alone and I’ve suddenly realized that is a very real possibility for me.

It is so hard…
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Yeah brother, I know what you mean about your age and being single, I’m 48, never been married and I have no kids. I don’t really mind the loneliness. And yea, it is difficult to find someone thats never been married or doesnt have any children, espically at my age. Like a poster said above, maybe I am being called to another vocation, something I’ve been thinking about alot lately. I put my faith in God, let him lead me to what it is he want me to be. Don

jesus g
 
Tomcmaj said:
Remember, you can fix ugly, but you can’t fix stupid.

:tiphat:
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I remember hearing a rock song that said: “Loving you is a dirty job, but someone has got to do it”. For me, that is true love, in its pure essence.
 
Nick003 said:
This subject has come up and she doesn’t think she would be granted an annulment.
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Unless she is a Canon lawyer, she really has no idea. Just go ahead and do it. I recommend doing it NOW, since it is likely to take a year or more.
 
So, God has no problem with the current friendship. It is when it becomes a relationship that it is a problem… correct?

I’ll just have to tell her that it can never be more than a friendship unless she is granted an annulment. Is that correct?
 
I am somewhat in a similar position. I am going through a divorce (after being separated for 6 years). My husband promised to go through RCIA become Catholic after we were married (but not before!!!) knew my faith was important to me ect. Once married he wouldn’t go through RCIA, made fun of Catholicism ect. I followed what I should do with this circumstance (plus verbal put downs ect) and left the house in 2007 to live with my parents and child. He has been doing change of venues of court ect. I do not have a firm answer to your question, but no you can not be physically active or attentive to this woman. I, however, would not discount her as a friend or potential partner in the future until you know that she can’t get an annulment or maybe some reasons that she is divorced. She may be scared or not know reasons an annulment could be granted. Do you know any of this information. I am scared to go through the process myself! But I know that God wants better for me and it is his will to decide if my marriage was valid or not.
 
Nick003 said:
So, God has no problem with the current friendship. It is when it becomes a relationship that it is a problem… correct?

I’ll just have to tell her that it can never be more than a friendship unless she is granted an annulment. Is that correct?
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For your first question - God doesn’t have a problem with your friendship as long as it’s not a near occasion of sin for you (are you likely to fall to temptation when you are alone with this woman?) and as long as yours is a kind of friendship you would have with other married female friends in your life. Since you have such strong feelings for her, it might be easier on you to limit your contact with her, so that you don’t fall deeper and deeper in love with someone who might not get an annulment. Guard your heart.

For you second question - Correct.

It’s so wonderful to see that you are sincerely seeking God’s will in this situation and wanting to do the right thing. Who would want to be in a relationship without God’s blessing anyway?
👍
 
Nick003 said:
This is love, not lust I feel. I’ve felt both and I know the difference. This subject has come up and she doesn’t think she would be granted an annulment. This is why I ask if God could ever smile upon this relationship without one.

I’m 47. It is so difficult to meet someone that is eligable for marriage at my age. Everyone I meet is divorced.

Honestly, I’m afraid to grow old alone and I’ve suddenly realized that is a very real possibility for me.

It is so hard…
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Nick if she is married to someone she is not free to date. You asking for approval for an adulterous relationship. Do you think God is going to smile on that?

Start doing some research on Annulment and have her do the same. She needs to file for one or you cannot continue this relationship. There is a book called The Wedding that was by Michael Foster . There is another book by Dr Ed Peters on Annulments that could be helpful.
Spend some time praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament asking God for the strength to do the right thing. It is possible that she would not be given a decree of nullity and she is in fact validly married to someone. You need to pull back on the relationship to a very basic friendship if it isn’t already at that point.

You speak about being “in love”. That is fine. But if you have true love for her and for yourself you will not continue to head down a path of sin.
 
Nick003 said:
So, God has no problem with the current friendship. It is when it becomes a relationship that it is a problem… correct?

I’ll just have to tell her that it can never be more than a friendship unless she is granted an annulment. Is that correct?
Click to expand...
yes this is correct if you are a Catholic who wishes to remain in communion with the Church and her sacraments, and to obey Christ’s own teaching on the subject.
 
Nick003 said:
This is love, not lust I feel. I’ve felt both and I know the difference. This subject has come up and she doesn’t think she would be granted an annulment. This is why I ask if God could ever smile upon this relationship without one.

I’m 47. It is so difficult to meet someone that is eligable for marriage at my age. Everyone I meet is divorced.

Honestly, I’m afraid to grow old alone and I’ve suddenly realized that is a very real possibility for me.

It is so hard…
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Nick,
In regard to the bolded section.
I thought this too for many…many… years. Then, with encouragement from my godfather I applied and the annulment was granted…

I would strongly suggest, for both of your sakes, that she look into the process with someone familiar with the ins and outs and get a copy of the questionnaire.
Please do not assume on this matter…look into it…she may be surprised.

Peace
James
 
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